EFC Footballer Job Descriptions

by Laurie Hartley | 25/06/2015

wrote a series of job descriptions for footballers.

My intention was to post it but I changed my mind as Toffeeweb was on fire and I thought it probably wasn't a good idea.

Now that we are in the close season and many of the current posts are about pending and possible transfers, and how these transfer targets may or may not improve us, I thought I would post my "job descriptions".

I am sure we can have a bit of fun with this.

Many posters with a better technical knowledge of the game than me have said "football is a simple game". I think that is probably true.

Here are my job descriptions for footballers.

A goalkeeper should be a be a big sod and good at three things in this order:

1. Commanding the 6 yard box, all elbows and knees, able to clatter any body having the effrontery of trying to head the ball into "his goal" from crosses and corners.
2. Coming off his line at the right time to pluck the ball from the feet of anyone who has got passed his back four.
3. Stopping shots.

A centre half should be a big sod and good at three things in this order:

1. Winning the ball in the air either from long balls out of defence or from crosses and corners.
2. Clearing danger which may mean putting the ball out for a throw in or belting it up the pitch. If no “man on” go to 3 below.
3. Never getting caught in possession – gives it to a team mate with more skill on the ball.

A full back should be mobile, possess good positional sense and good at three things in this order:

1. Showing opposing forwards the touch line and not letting them cut inside.
2. Stopping opposing forwards getting to the byline and getting crosses into the box through tackling and blocks
3. Passing the ball up the touch line to “the winger”

A midfielder should have stamina, awareness of what's going on around him regardless of which way he is facing, and be good at three things not necessarily in this order. The order will define what his key role for the team is:

1. Making himself available for a pass.
2. Breaking down the oppositions attacks by tackling or harassing.
3. Supplying the “forwards” with passes to run onto

A winger should be have pace, and or trickery, have confidence on the ball and be good at these three things:

1. Beating a man one on one with pace or trickery.
2. Crossing the ball with precision from the by line into the air or along the ground to a spot anywhere within the boundaries of the penalty box and the D.
3. Cutting inside and shooting for goal with his wrong foot.

A centre forward should be either big and strong and mobile or stocky and strong and mobile and be good at these three things in this order:

1. Running on to passes, controlling the ball with his first touch, and scoring by either blasting or passing the ball past the keeper into the net.
2. Getting in front of the defenders to meet crosses and convert them into goals with foot or head.
3. Getting the ball at his feet and turning his marker or passing to an oncoming teammate who is running towards the oppositions goal

Any player wanting to pull an Everton shirt on must also possess the following personal attributes:

The skill set applicable to of the roles above
Courage
Fitness
Discipline both on and off field.

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