Grumpy Old Men

by   |   29/04/2020  31 Comments  [Jump to last]

As the years have passed, I have noticed more and more little things niggle away at me; I feel I am turning into my parents.

Back in my youth, I would get, "waste of money, football is not like it was in my day, they would put in a shift, there was none of this kissing or going down and doing several rolls on the floor, well maybe if a Norman Hunter tackle caught you."

Players were paid bonuses for wins and gate receipts. Even back then, I never complained about the dodgy hot-dog stands outside the ground, the Bovril, tea, or packet of crisps option in the ground.

Even being in a good spot at Goodison by 2pm, only to lose it by 2:50 as Richard Osman arrives from the pub, and decides the spot right in front of you is the best speck... Then waiting for your moment, for a sway in the crowd, to seize your moment, and nip in front of him.

Those things caused just a little sigh and tut on your misfortunes, but you accepted it, with the only talking point being the ref.

Now, though, I get wound up with simple things: players trudging off slowly after being subbed, shaking everyone’s hand, waving to the crowd, before finally leaving the pitch.

A corner being taken outside the quadrant, with his own player a foot away, holding it up in the corner, constant shirt-pulling and holding players down in the penalty area.

Some guy next to you in the seat, taking part of your seat up as well... even a bit of sun in your eyeline is more annoying than it used to be.

In hindsight, it has gone full circle, I have become my parents, and my kids have become a younger me.

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Reader Comments (31)

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Eric Myles
1 Posted 06/05/2020 at 04:01:02
Brian #metoo
Derek Thomas
2 Posted 06/05/2020 at 05:11:19
Brian in - finally realises he's old shocker

#I also

Derek Thomas
3 Posted 06/05/2020 at 05:23:48
When did you first realise you where old? I twigged at 48, I had to get a new photo ID for work. The picture was awful, excessively over bright. When I saw the finished laminated rectangle I thought - shit, I've turned into my dad.
Eddie Dunn
4 Posted 06/05/2020 at 07:23:22
Brian, I can't go to any public event, match, gig even the cinema without somebody pissing me off. People singing along at concerts (I paid to hear the singer), as you say, the bloke next to you at the match opening his legs wide, pushing yours closer together, the lazy buggers who stroll-in after kick-off with their food and drinks, making us all stand-up. Or the packet-rustlers in the cinema, who also think it's cool to check their phone during the film... I could go on.

About 7 years ago, I was at a music festival when a very tall Irish lad in his twenties was annoying everyone around us by holding a phone conversation with his girlfriend. I was trying to listen to Joanna Newsome, an American harp player and singer. I thought about taking his phone and throwing it, but it might have hit an audience member.

Instead, in my frustration, I gave him a short left uppercut into his exposed ribs. he doubled-up, shouting "He fucking hit me"! He shut up after that.

Chris Hockenhull
5 Posted 06/05/2020 at 07:57:36
Eddie, exactly my sentiments too. Rarely go gigs anymore because of the bloody antics (especially the awful big arena like MEN/ Echo etc). Go to see films that I really want to see 12:30 Sunday's etc where only like-minded souls surround you. I sometimes feel the same regards morphing into my parents and then think: No; it shows they were correct. Joanna Newsome too excellent.
Tony Abrahams
6 Posted 06/05/2020 at 08:27:27
Definitely reinforces the saying about there being nothing to get old for, and not even a bit of knowledge it seems, because it just means everything gets on your nerves!

I hate watching footballers who don't look like they are enjoying what they're doing. It's a tough sport obviously, so they should get fitter, which will help them work harder and then they should be able to express themselves.

Christine Foster
7 Posted 08/05/2020 at 22:02:48
Tony, I hate watching footballers who can't be bothered... a few in Blue over the years sadly. It infuriates when you think of what they are paid.

I love to see a footballer take the mickey, with their skill or just a smile. Getting older allows you to smile at the absurdity of youth and long to right once more the should've, could've, would've moments in your life.

Chris Williams
8 Posted 08/05/2020 at 22:54:20
I've always enjoyed The Straight Story. A really good film.

Covers a lot of stuff on here.

Steve Pugh
9 Posted 08/05/2020 at 22:58:39
Derek #3, I turn 48 in July and I guarantee that I am not going to turn into my Dad.

He's pushing 80 and still has more hair than I do now.

Dennis Stevens
10 Posted 09/05/2020 at 13:26:27
I think of myself as less a grumpy old man and more a cantankerous old git!
Allan Board
11 Posted 10/05/2020 at 13:28:44
Ah yes! The old git syndrome! My decisions are better now I am older (experience). I care less what people think of me, I now know politician's are all the bloody same and I've got more dough.

Because of this, I wish I was still young, stupidly fit, playing footy all the time, drinking lots, eating anything, chasing anything, and driving too quick! My lad is 12 soon and has it all to come – lucky bugger!! Happens to us all!!

Chris Williams
12 Posted 10/05/2020 at 13:58:16
I think many people feel like this. Blokes turn into their Dads; women into their Mums, as far as I can see.

My Dad was basically serious but, when with people he knew, was funny and gregarious. At family parties, my Mum would play the piano and my Dad would sing songs like Raffertys Pig and Phil the Fluters Ball. As well as recite stuff about Albert and the Lion.

I was a bit of a nutter in my teens, got married early, started treating my job as a career and not an extension of my social life, kids arrived... Boom! I started to turn into my Dad. Basically serious but able to relax with people I knew. Sometimes to excess!

It's a process that accelerates through the years. I'm less tolerant than my Dad but have modified it a bit, because even I could see it was a bit excessive. My younger son is even worse than me.

I'm basically antisocial, my wife informs me. I usually answer, "Who are you again?" She's right, of course. As usual.

I reckon everything is done worse these days, the country is going to the dogs, social media should be banned. Football has deteriorated massively. I hate it that people don't pronounce the letter T, or get apostrophes wrong.

I even think that the beer is not as good – which tends to show how valid my other prejudices are!

Alan McGuffog
13 Posted 10/05/2020 at 14:33:24
Chris... beer is infinitely better than it was when we were young. The lager boom of the early seventies took off because so much of the standard bitter and mild was dreadful.

Don't forget those who use "of" instead of "have".

Anyway, just off to report people who are out enjoying themselves. Stay safe!

Paul Hewitt
14 Posted 10/05/2020 at 14:45:19
48 is definitely NOT old.
Chris Williams
15 Posted 10/05/2020 at 14:48:28

Or start a sentence with 'So'...

Ray Roche
16 Posted 10/05/2020 at 15:28:49
Or say “like” four times in every sentence. Like.
Chris Williams
17 Posted 10/05/2020 at 15:44:12
Or, you know several times.
Tony McNulty
18 Posted 10/05/2020 at 15:55:16
Anyone else fed up watching their Dad shaving in the mirror of a morning?
Billy Bradshaw
19 Posted 10/05/2020 at 15:57:44
Yes, it seems in Liverpool in recent times, especially amongst the young ones, every male first name seems to be 'lad'.
Chris Williams
20 Posted 10/05/2020 at 16:10:18
My dad called me soft lad. Does that count?
Alan J Thompson
21 Posted 10/05/2020 at 16:54:22
An err...just saying like, dat nobody says lah when day write, eh lahs.
Alan J Thompson
22 Posted 10/05/2020 at 17:06:11
And to remove all doubt... Me, meself, speaking personally...
Eddie Dunn
23 Posted 14/05/2020 at 08:17:24
What about the "youngish" people (mostly male) that seem to inhabit the radio, who refer to "foubblers" and never pronounce "ing", always leavin' the bloody "G" out?

The more ex-pros they get on, instead of journalists, the lower the standard of grammar. Clinton Morrison is one of the worst offenders but the new female recruits are almost as bad.

Eric Myles
24 Posted 14/05/2020 at 08:33:03
Billy #19, in my day everyone had a girlfriend named 'me Judy'.
Eric Myles
25 Posted 14/05/2020 at 08:34:14
No Chris #20, seems like he was right. :-))
Dave Bowen
26 Posted 20/05/2020 at 15:34:47
Eddie @ #23. The more I see Clinton Morrison on the GSS panel, the more I'm convinced he's blackmailing someone into giving him a job. He even makes Rio Camel-lips Ferdinand sound intelligible.

On the subject of concerts, the current trend for holding up a mobile phone for the duration of the concert drives me up the wall. Luckily, my musical taste is heavy rock music, so gigs are generally populated by old gits like myself that are actually there for the music. I have had rows twice with people at gigs who insist on filming the whole concert.

Paul Hughes
27 Posted 26/05/2020 at 19:59:56
Dave @#26. It's not just you, every time I see Clinton Morrison I shout at the telly. How did someone with the barest command of the English language get that gig?

Yes, I AM a grumpy old man.

John Cook
28 Posted 26/05/2020 at 20:24:01
I hate all those southern gobshites on TalkShite talking like they're the only ones who know anything about the game. In fact, I hate the whole fuckin station and content and only listen to it on the way back to North Wales after the match once Merseyside and the superb Ronnie Goodlass has finished with their phone-in.

In fact, I've tons more that makes me grumpy but to even think about it at my age (68) makes me fucking outraged thinking about it!

Dave Lynch
29 Posted 26/05/2020 at 20:36:05
Is it just me or has anyone noticed people finishing a sentence with the last word used as an exclamation...

Best way I can describe it really. I also hate people paying for stuff whilst having a conversation on their mobile in the shops, height of rudeness IMO.

John Cook
30 Posted 26/05/2020 at 23:09:26

I hate paying for stuff!!!!!!

Eric Myles
31 Posted 27/05/2020 at 08:03:51
John #30, so are you one of those guys that stole a loaf of bread just so's you could get a free passage to Australia? ;-?

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