Grumpy Old Men

#I also

About 7 years ago, I was at a music festival when a very tall Irish lad in his twenties was annoying everyone around us by holding a phone conversation with his girlfriend. I was trying to listen to Joanna Newsome, an American harp player and singer. I thought about taking his phone and throwing it, but it might have hit an audience member.

Instead, in my frustration, I gave him a short left uppercut into his exposed ribs. he doubled-up, shouting "He fucking hit me"! He shut up after that.

I hate watching footballers who don't look like they are enjoying what they're doing. It's a tough sport obviously, so they should get fitter, which will help them work harder and then they should be able to express themselves.

I love to see a footballer take the mickey, with their skill or just a smile. Getting older allows you to smile at the absurdity of youth and long to right once more the should've, could've, would've moments in your life.

Covers a lot of stuff on here.

He's pushing 80 and still has more hair than I do now.

Because of this, I wish I was still young, stupidly fit, playing footy all the time, drinking lots, eating anything, chasing anything, and driving too quick! My lad is 12 soon and has it all to come – lucky bugger!! Happens to us all!!

My Dad was basically serious but, when with people he knew, was funny and gregarious. At family parties, my Mum would play the piano and my Dad would sing songs like Raffertys Pig and Phil the Fluters Ball. As well as recite stuff about Albert and the Lion.

I was a bit of a nutter in my teens, got married early, started treating my job as a career and not an extension of my social life, kids arrived... Boom! I started to turn into my Dad. Basically serious but able to relax with people I knew. Sometimes to excess!

It's a process that accelerates through the years. I'm less tolerant than my Dad but have modified it a bit, because even I could see it was a bit excessive. My younger son is even worse than me.

I'm basically antisocial, my wife informs me. I usually answer, "Who are you again?" She's right, of course. As usual.

I reckon everything is done worse these days, the country is going to the dogs, social media should be banned. Football has deteriorated massively. I hate it that people don't pronounce the letter T, or get apostrophes wrong.

I even think that the beer is not as good – which tends to show how valid my other prejudices are!

Don't forget those who use "of" instead of "have".

Anyway, just off to report people who are out enjoying themselves. Stay safe!

Or start a sentence with 'So'...

The more ex-pros they get on, instead of journalists, the lower the standard of grammar. Clinton Morrison is one of the worst offenders but the new female recruits are almost as bad.

On the subject of concerts, the current trend for holding up a mobile phone for the duration of the concert drives me up the wall. Luckily, my musical taste is heavy rock music, so gigs are generally populated by old gits like myself that are actually there for the music. I have had rows twice with people at gigs who insist on filming the whole concert.

Yes, I AM a grumpy old man.

In fact, I've tons more that makes me grumpy but to even think about it at my age (68) makes me fucking outraged thinking about it!

Best way I can describe it really. I also hate people paying for stuff whilst having a conversation on their mobile in the shops, height of rudeness IMO.

I hate paying for stuff!!!!!!