Transfer Rumours

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I understand this article comes later than an Everton player's expected return from injury, but the subject has only once more become of relevance due to Chelsea’s transfer embargo. That subject area is the transfer rumour.

The muted columns during the season blossom into life but of twice a year, and I for one eagerly await the fabled rumour. Rumours are the coal that keeps the engine of desire burning when football takes a hiatus during those dreary winters and drearier summers. For once pity Chelsea fans with no salivating prospect as to who may arrive, and who may reinvigorate the clubs dressing room.

The rumour is one aspect of feminisation that is deemed acceptable by us brutish fans. The Alice band is derided; long hair a Latino-spice boy façade is treated in the same way —nancy boys eh? But we accept the transfer rumour, not realising it as the inbred sibling of women’s magazine gossip that it is.

"Why so?"— I hear you splutter through the froth of your Stella. Well simply it adheres to our aspirations, our dreams and fantasies. Only in the alternate universe beget of the rumour could Everton field Moutino as a trequesta, with Banega lying deep dictating the play. Surging runs and Hollywood passes decorate the Goodison pitch. In this conflation of reality Van der Vaart is the fans favourite having repudiated the riches of the Galactico’s bench in order to re-unite with friend Johnny Heitinga and lead Everton to unprecedented success.

Capitalist pressure dictates the rumour's distribution. Papers feed us this vision in order to continue to sell papers. Advertisers would simply not allow ‘proper’ reporting to take place, thus we are fed a dumped downed concoction of hearsay and confusion.

Conversely, whilst the rumour is a child born of the financier’s control of our papers, it is also an aspect of sports reporting that adds pressure to those dabbling in the transfer market. Expectations are imaginatively raised; those players once deemed unattainable are now minimum expectations. I’ve no doubt many a club would love to see the back of rumours, leaving them to do business in the tranquil summer breeze over a glass of wine.

But as this is unlikely to occur, I for one will continue to sup on the impure thoughts of the rumour mill and continue to read every rumour section I can. For where there is rumour, there is also hope, and hope is something not to be underestimated in football.
Paul Gleeson, Liverpool     Posted 25/09/2009 at 12:11:50

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