Season 2011-12
The Mail Bag
The Enemy of Football
28 Comments: So the Mrs of 3 months has finally had enough of playing 3rd fiddle to Everton and Golf. Having told her this morning I'd just bought a ticket for tonight's game, so wouldn't see her till about 11pm, she said:
"Right, this isn't for me anymore, I was going to tell you tonight but you can know now".
If it was a bluff, its a pretty daft call ? 32 years vs 3 months, love vs lust. Those who don't understand don't matter.
So, see you tonight. Cant bloody wait!!
James Cadwaladr, Posted 01/05/2012 at 09:27:20
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Will they never learn?
Reminds me of the one...women constantly carry on about how they can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship, but we all know the real heroes are men. They can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm!!
Just enjoy the match James.
Just enjoy the match James.
Pulis v Moyes, a worldwide audience of 65,000. Anti-football at its best.
Reminds me of the old Dangerfield joke: "My wife likes me to talk to her during sex. Why just the other night she called me from the hotel".
(Yeah, yeah, I know. I just like Rodney's jokes)
(Yeah, yeah, I know. I just like Rodney's jokes)
Golf?
I used to have similar problems. Then I took her to the Blackpool game (on the promise of a night out and a meal in town afterwards) right in the front of the Family Enclosure by the Park End corner flag (my ST seat in the Upper Bullens was taken by the opposition fans)
Drenthe was taking a corner and tapped the badge before winking at her, she was all excited and now she's on about getting a season ticket for next season!
When I got home from Wembley she was in a worse state than me.....she was fucking distraught! She's besotted with Everton now and has conversations with me about the club and about footy in general.
She's either gotta leave me or I'm stuck with her at the match for the rest of my fucking life.
She's 65.
Take your missus with you if you love her enough. If you don't you know what you have to do!
Drenthe was taking a corner and tapped the badge before winking at her, she was all excited and now she's on about getting a season ticket for next season!
When I got home from Wembley she was in a worse state than me.....she was fucking distraught! She's besotted with Everton now and has conversations with me about the club and about footy in general.
She's either gotta leave me or I'm stuck with her at the match for the rest of my fucking life.
She's 65.
Take your missus with you if you love her enough. If you don't you know what you have to do!
Solution: 2 tickets; Blue Lagoon chips n gravy; Everton One with your c/card; Half lager in the Dark House. Seat near the pitch to admire oogle at the boys, and she'll be going with her mates next season.
EBay for the golf clubs.
EBay for the golf clubs.
Surely a coincidence, but I've just made a date for tonight via a chatroom with a woman from Chester with the very unusual name Cadwaladr. She said she has to be home by eleven. Enjoy the match James, let me know the score.
Nothing like a good mysoginistic rant eh lads?!
Who's got any mother-in-law jokes? ;-)
Who's got any mother-in-law jokes? ;-)
Tony,
Any news on the Trust?
Any news on the Trust?
admire oogle?
Some great comments.
Brian. Shame on you putting a date before the match!!
Dave, youve bought yourself problems there mate. I struggle to watch it on the tele with her let alone go the game with her.
Im beginning to see where shes coming from. Oh well, sure she'll be OK.
Brian. Shame on you putting a date before the match!!
Dave, youve bought yourself problems there mate. I struggle to watch it on the tele with her let alone go the game with her.
Im beginning to see where shes coming from. Oh well, sure she'll be OK.
Not yet Ste.
Can't see what her issue is.
You'll be home for 11pm - plenty of time for her to cook, clean and iron.
You might need to make some kind of romantic effort to appease her - such as a bag of Maltesers or something - as long as she's not already getting out of shape. If she's a bit spherical, change the Maltesers for a Twix but only give her half and save the other half for the next time you're in a similar situation.
This approach worked wonders for me until my divorce.
You'll be home for 11pm - plenty of time for her to cook, clean and iron.
You might need to make some kind of romantic effort to appease her - such as a bag of Maltesers or something - as long as she's not already getting out of shape. If she's a bit spherical, change the Maltesers for a Twix but only give her half and save the other half for the next time you're in a similar situation.
This approach worked wonders for me until my divorce.
Women hey! - cant live with them and cant kill them.
James, you do know our season is over dont you?
My wife said if I didn't stop supporting Everton she'd leave me. I'll miss her.
"Who's got any mother-in-law jokes? ;-)"
I saw six blokes kicking and punching my mother-in-law the other day. My wife said to me "aren't you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough".
"Who's got any mother-in-law jokes? ;-)"
I saw six blokes kicking and punching my mother-in-law the other day. My wife said to me "aren't you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough".
Same script with my missus James, she wanted to divorce me, but neither of us wanted custody of the kids !
James, never mind.
Judging by the amount of mature dating adverts, there are many eastern european ladies who would be only too glad to cuddle up to a loveable blue scouser.
Only if you take them to a game, best not direct them to drenthe kissing the badge if you want some longevity eh? Maybe hibbo instead.
Judging by the amount of mature dating adverts, there are many eastern european ladies who would be only too glad to cuddle up to a loveable blue scouser.
Only if you take them to a game, best not direct them to drenthe kissing the badge if you want some longevity eh? Maybe hibbo instead.
Mike, I bought the mother in law a lovely chair for christmas, only trouble is she wont let me plug it in
My wife's view of football was formed by her dad taking her to see Crusaders play at Seaview in the 1960s. Anyone who has ever been there in winter, or summer for that matter, will know what I am up against.
She has a hatred of football that rouses a passion that I have, unfortunately, never seen on any other occasion. Yet, she has learned enough to know how to ruin it for me. "I heard the score on the news..... of course I won't spoil it for you. I won't tell you the score but, your're not gonna like it"
She has a hatred of football that rouses a passion that I have, unfortunately, never seen on any other occasion. Yet, she has learned enough to know how to ruin it for me. "I heard the score on the news..... of course I won't spoil it for you. I won't tell you the score but, your're not gonna like it"
Mother in law jokes? Go on then:
Two cannibals are standing in front of a campfire, one says to the other "I fucking hate my mother-in-law" and the other cannibal says "It's alright, just eat the rice".
A young wife came home one day and found her mother standing in a bucket of water with her finger stuck in the light socket. The young husband was standing by the switch. "Hello, darllng," said the mother, "Steve has had this marvellous idea for curing my rheumatism."
Two cannibals are standing in front of a campfire, one says to the other "I fucking hate my mother-in-law" and the other cannibal says "It's alright, just eat the rice".
A young wife came home one day and found her mother standing in a bucket of water with her finger stuck in the light socket. The young husband was standing by the switch. "Hello, darllng," said the mother, "Steve has had this marvellous idea for curing my rheumatism."
Ok, John. I bought my mother a jaguar for Christmas. I hope it fucking rips her to shreds.
My wife came in the other day and said " how would you like to speak to my Mother" I said " through a fucking spiritualist"
You know my Mother in laws so fat when she sits round the house she literally sits a round the house"
"My Mother in law was a War Baby, people used to look in the pram and say Wah"
With special thanks to Les Dawson
You know my Mother in laws so fat when she sits round the house she literally sits a round the house"
"My Mother in law was a War Baby, people used to look in the pram and say Wah"
With special thanks to Les Dawson
James, it?s a choice and a very expensive one. I have to buy my freedom and it comes at a cost! Reading this post I have done a rough calculation and the cost of getting the wife?s blessing for my EFC trips is probably 4/5 times the cost of my season ticket this season. The Newcastle game I will spend the whole weekend in Liverpool drinking with my mates (very normal for last game of the season). Dinner and drinks the Friday before with the wife, use of my car all weekend so I will have to train up (another £150 for me and my son, but allows me to drink on Sunday too) plus a handbag from Karen Millen, she even emailed me at work the link to buy it! The email started, as you?re away with your mates again please get me this bag and a smiley face!! We don?t argue and get on really well but it?s just the understanding we have that if I have a weekend away in Liverpool or even away games in Europe I treat the wife, may be very, very expensive but I go to as many games as I want, and that?s all that matters EFC is worth it! Good luck with yours but you need to lay down the rules now otherwise it will never go away. EFC always come first but the trick is not to make it too obvious.
My wife used to come to the games with us occasionally until the Derby game when Jim Beglin broke his leg right in front of us. Probably one of the most sickening things I've seen and certainly put her right off.
Still gets very involved and always listens to the radio when I'm at the match. Despite knowing little about the game she watches televised games and gets very involved. Her all time classic comment was the other week watching Chelsea v Barca who I love watching, quote -
"Barcelona are boring all they do is pass the ball around"
It got me thinking!
Still gets very involved and always listens to the radio when I'm at the match. Despite knowing little about the game she watches televised games and gets very involved. Her all time classic comment was the other week watching Chelsea v Barca who I love watching, quote -
"Barcelona are boring all they do is pass the ball around"
It got me thinking!
Wife of 3 months ! You got married during the season ? No wonder she thought she had you tamed, give them an inch, etc, no Carry On comments please.
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884 Posted 01/05/2012 at 14:41:40
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