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Two Dutch Party Animals...

by , HP / DE [In Dutch] | 05/02/2013

What do Andy van der Meyde and Royston Drenthe have in common? Apparently a weakness for the night life, clubbing, short skirts, Bicardi and, er, 'coke'... Nice to know how their hard-earned cash went to support at least a portion of the local economy...

© HP / DE [In Dutch]
Article reproduced here in its original form or abridged for brevity.

Reader Comments

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Tony J Williams
048 Posted 05/02/2013 at 16:56:39
"Man walks with firm step out of a taxi. While he has a slight damage to the wheel carcass inspects feels trembling in his pocket." - Love the translation.
Shane Corcoran
079 Posted 05/02/2013 at 19:30:20
The translation hurt my head but in perfect English "Great cock, that Andy, but what a meddler" Brilliant.
David Stalford
091 Posted 05/02/2013 at 19:59:05
Am I imagining it, or did Van der Meyde recommend Beslan in Ossetia as a holiday destination for Drenthe because he couldn't control himself? Bit extreme that!

I suppose it could be a dodgy translation.

Nick Entwistle
107 Posted 05/02/2013 at 21:40:47
It is 29 August 2011. For the change rains not in Liverpool. A man gets off with solid pace from a taxi. While he a slight damage to the wheel carcass inspects feels he getril in his pocket. An unknown number appears in his screen. The area code reveals a phone call from the home country. He takes visitors on. "With Andy", it sounds on the other side.

While he digs in his memory the cases quiet poem with clarification. "With Andy van der Meyde, I got your number by Johnny Heitinga".

"Hi man, nice that you are calling." "Royston, I hear that you are on your way to Everton", sounds concerned. "Don't do it boy, I beg you, don't do it. Liverpool has too many temptations for guys like us. Before you know it you become the nightclubs in dragged. Beware that you your career is not broke ... ".

Royston Drenthe interrupts the caller. Andy's wild stories he knows through via. Although he has some escapades can laugh, He finds it unfortunate that Andy no longer plays soccer. In the field he had like to not fit in front of a Van der Meyde.

"No worries man, I go here all for football. You know, I dare not to say out loud. But I stand at the European Championships in 2012. I go for it, brother ". Andy's concerns were not appeased.

"Promise me you didn't go to the Newz Bar. There flows Bacardi by the WCS and you can ski on cocaine. And the women, Royston. O man, o man, o man. Those English women with their short skirts, "said a voice in which regret and longing for times past each other the hand shaking.

"Don't worry, bro. I'm more mature. They get me going insane. I go here flames. ""Great to hear. Can I ask you occasionally reading? ", asks Andy. "Sure man." "Ok, love you at odds with and always keep your eyes open for other clubs man. Because that Bar you can the European Championships cost "Newz. The former Feyenoord player hangs on. Fine cock, which Andy, but what a busybody.

A small three weeks later scores Royston his first goal, the 3-1 at Wigan Athletic. Come home reads a text message from Andy.

"Congratulations on your first goal. On to the EK! ". Sympathetic, judge Royston. Answers does he later yet though. Now first take pieces and soon a small drink on the success of today. Andy continues to send messages during the season, also as Royston play less. More and more often it remains silent on the other side.

Andy must stand by and watch Royston after the summer break no new club. Stories about wild parties, fast cars and poker parties reach Andy. Hopefully it's not true.

December 2012. Royston saunters through the Rotterdam koopgoot looking for Christmas presents for his family. If he runs, he holds in his stride along the Bruna. Andy looks at him from the display case. "No mercy", reads Royston. He steps in, picks up a book from the pile and grist two dozen euros, the spoils of an evening of poker with friends, out of his pocket and throws it on the desk. "This please".

It is a while ago, read. But the biography of Andy is in a sigh. Shortly before Christmas sends a sms to his comrade Royston. "Do you know if there is anything to do in Vladikavkaz? Regards, RR ".

Andy replies, "I'm going for you figure out. Let me hear ". Van der Meyde gives his wife and kids a kiss on the forehead. "Papa, help a friend".

Less than half a day later, he checked into the Aleksandrovskiy Grand Hotel. Shower and eau de cologne on and Andy is ready for the Vladikavkazaanse night life.

Andy returns home after three days of research. "No nut to do. Ugly women. The coast is clear", he sends to Royston. That was bombed in 2010 and that 25 Vladikavkaz kilometers further, in Beslan, in 2004 more than 300 people perished in a hostage drama, let Andy. "Anything is better than the Newz Bar", he argues.

I'm not sure what a lot of that means but I know think in a Dutch accent.

Cathal Donnellan
119 Posted 05/02/2013 at 23:10:48
Sounds like it was written by Mongo from Blazing Saddles.
Chris Hockenhull
120 Posted 05/02/2013 at 23:12:37
Nick... That's the funniest thing I've read since the rear sleeve notes on 'Bringing It All Back Home' / 'Highway 61 Revisited' and 'John Wesley Harding'!!!
Sean Condon
121 Posted 05/02/2013 at 23:17:31
I'm tired of hearing this shit re: EFC. If Drenthe was a coke user they must have known about it in advance. Wtf was he doing coming to us then?
Sean Condon
123 Posted 05/02/2013 at 23:19:30
Anything other than like once in a really blue moon coke use is about as easy to spot on an individual as a third friggin' eye.
Derek Williams
128 Posted 05/02/2013 at 23:39:35
Good job Johnny's not like the other two. Imagine how many goals he would be giving away if he was!
Will Leaf
135 Posted 06/02/2013 at 01:19:17
"No nut to do. Ugly women. The coast is clear ": coming from Andy, I doubt anything was lost in translation.
Steven Telford
154 Posted 06/02/2013 at 08:03:13
If Chelsea can sue Muttu for return of his wages and transfer fee, surely we can sue Van der Meyde for the same????
Matt Traynor
161 Posted 06/02/2013 at 08:55:28
Weird, I got a radically different translation - almost comprehensible. Although I still got the "Great cock, that Andy, but what a meddler" translation. Methinks it must be accurate then.
Harold Matthews
166 Posted 06/02/2013 at 09:42:59
Can't help thinking I've led a very boring life.
Syd Morton
182 Posted 06/02/2013 at 12:06:32
Maybe we got away with it by not not buying Fer. Another Dutch party animal with a horse to prove it. I dread to think what he expected to find at Finch Farm.
Craig Tomasinski
296 Posted 06/02/2013 at 23:27:04
Maybe Fer liked the idea of Everton as they had a (Finch) farm for his horse!!!
Alasdair Mackay
379 Posted 07/02/2013 at 15:21:47
4 Dutch footballers in Moyes' time at Everton.

1 - Cokehead
2 - Still at the club, although currently defending like he is on Coke
3 - Cokehead
4 - Failed his medical (traces of coke anyone?)

I don't think the Moyesiah will be bringing any more Dutch players to Goodison.

Andy Meighan
397 Posted 07/02/2013 at 16:29:09
Nick — I'll have a pint of what you're on.
Martin Handley
430 Posted 07/02/2013 at 19:55:02
Of all the people to take advice from ! No wonder Drenthes Everton career went downhill . The guy could've been a legend with his pace and skill,mind you we ended up with Pienaar and Mirallas so every cloud etc...

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