Everton vs Bournemouth

By all means, complain after the whistle is blown if you need to vent. Otherwise, just support them.

If the worst does happen, the club will survive.

Post mortem can begin on Tuesday starting with getting rid of the inept fools on the board.

I think we still have an opportunity to field a strong side and, in my opinion, the formation should remain unchanged but the team should have a slightly more attacking edge.

Until we know the results from the other 2 games, the Bournemouth game is a must win.

I think this will be a lot of people's team and it is mine (4-5-1):

Pickford
Iwobi Mina Tarkowski Mykolenko
Gray Garner Gueye Doucoure McNeil
Simms

The injuries have given us the opportunity to play both Gray and Simms in the same team. As well as having Doucouré's potential finishing, we have the chance of Gray supporting Simms at every opportunity.

There is hardly anyone who wants Maupay to start and I would have him on the bench, with Martin Sherif.

I definitely would not start Onana, I'm not sure his heart is in it and having him in the same team as Doucouré makes us disjointed. Better for Onana to be on the bench and bring him on late in the game to make an impact when there are tired legs out there.

If Mykolenko is not fit I would not change formation but I would play the best-suited reserve at left-back, something I think Baines would help with. Maybe Sean McAllister was put on the bench last week for cover in this position.

4-5-1 is the system the players are used to and changing it would be one hell of a risk.

This game is now the biggest by far, we must win and I believe winning the midfield battle is crucial, pegging Bournemouth back right from the off and getting an early breakthrough is the way to go.

The supporters will be up for it without any doubt and I would stress that, if a player is having a bad game, get behind him instead of giving him any stick. Imagine the boost if he actually heard his name being sung.

Whatever happens, we have to take it on the chin and keep behind the team. We have some excellent players – we just didn't have a good enough mix this season and were totally let down by the board and previous manager when it came to bringing in at least 2 forwards  to make us more effective as an attacking force.

I hope to God that we don't suffer anymore injuries and no bad luck or bad decisions from the officials, no sendings-off or mistakes, a blinder from Pickford, and that we will be starting in the Premier League next season.

We can have a strong midfield, a decent defence, and hopefully plenty of attacking options with McNeil, Doucouré, Simms and Gray all in there. Come on lads, a massive effort from everyone, but nothing over the top, let's have another Brighton result in front of the best supporters in the world.

And keep off the pitch!

COYB!

WSNBM! 

I think Keane must play at some stage. He has shown in the past he has an eye for goal in difficult situations. I would be tempted to start with him but certainly he would be part of a Plan B.

Conventional wisdom goes out the window on the last day of the season, so it's impossible to predict what will happen... but the way I choose to look at it is - the collective will of our fanbase is far greater than that of Leicester or Leeds. Let's go get it done.

I think Bournemouth have spent as many years in the top flight of English football as we have out of it. I know that doesn't mean much in the here and now, but for fuck's sake, get a grip people, they are absolutely nothing to fear.

No doubt many will be saying between now and kick-off, “But they've beaten us twice already this season”. So what, that means absolutely nothing come Sunday.

I can't stomach watching any of the pre-match build-up. I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to follow the match live, or check the scores on the BBC website.

I think I'll give the Live Forum a miss too. I really want to be able support my team, but when I wake up on Sunday morning, I'll be watching the minutes pass slowly until 6 pm. Like bracing for bad news, I just need this to be over.

When they beat us, we were about as low as we got, and that's behind us. I'm looking forward to it now, not worrying about it.

How I wish I was there!

You are not worried about it, can I have some if your none worrying lotion please? I've put my two couches together to hide behind. Coyb 👮👮👮

We're in trouble and they're not at this moment.

Don't fear but let's not think we're some great institution who should put these nobodies away.

What a complete and utter moron.

Where has Moshiri said that? Link please?

Paul, there is no special cream – it's called, being philosophical. And knowing we can do it. Sit on that couch with pride :-)

Under normal circumstances, their focus would be on the next flight to Malaga and disinterest would be the order of the day. The likely result being a nifty one-nil win for the cheeky boys in blue.

But this Sunday, they walk into an arena that to all intents and purposes is a cup final… oo-er!!

It is time for the old chant uttered by Mersey seamen in bad weather to ring out from the assembled legions – "Big Hairy Knickers!"

It's a game we have to go out to win and, if Mykolenko is not available, we cannot waste McNeil playing full-back.

Simms has to start to give us some sort of focal point up top.

If Dyche starts Maupay, then I think he has to play someone up top with him and go 3-5-2.

Unbelievable it has come to this.

Honestly don't care who plays at this point, just get the fucking 3 points.

COYB.

There has to be an attacking threat, particularly in the first period of the second half. Bournemouth will play a higher line to put more pressure on midfield. Everton keeping effective possession, particularly in midfield, is a must. They have to fight to turnover play and must be tight and error-free defensively, not being pressed deep. Set-pieces at both ends will be crucial to the result.

Bournemouth absolutely played Everton off the pitch in the last two encounters, exposing a lack of discipline in most areas of the pitch, resulting from poor tactical and technical skill by Everton. The right Everton has to turn up for 115 minutes. A draw would be good at this stage given the ability of the current Everton, but will
probably not be good enough, given the day that is in it.

This is a fixture like no other in Everton's History, that will result in unprecedented protest after the result. The level of which will be determined by the result.

Why has the Board not been changed? It shows how weak Everton as a Club really are.

I want the players to play out of their heads. Make the last match, the best match they played all season. I want all the fans lucky enough to go to Goodison, to yell, cheer, sing until they can't yell, cheer, sing anymore.

I want Everton in the Premier League next season!!!! We'll sort out the chairman, the owner and the board in due time, but right now Bournemouth is front and centre.

COYB

Shortly after then (if memory serves), our saviour, Mr Kenwright, led a consortium to oust the evil red agent Peter Johnson. Also, what's the reference to 115 minutes? I have just woken up, so forgive me if I've missed something.

They are statistically one of the weakest teams in the league at set-pieces which is why I'd play Keane over Coady at centre-back if we play three. Coady is useless in the air (and not a great deal better on the ground).

Formation and setup might depend a lot on Mykolenko. If he is fit, then I expect we might see 4-5-1 with Iwobi or Holgate at right-back. If he's not fit, then I'd expect 3-5-1 with Iwobi and McNeil as advanced wingbacks.

Bournemouth have good pace on the counter with Solanke, Tavernier and Ouattara. It would horribly fitting if Ouattara, who we could and should have signed in January, was the one who relegated us.

It will be a nervous day but I'm hoping an impassioned Goodison crowd can drag us over the line.

To make up for the 3-0 and 4-0 losses.

I remember that game as well. It was similar, but this game is a double-header, with the afters of an independent commission which could create another relegation headache.

I also think Moshiri will still be majority shareholder. Relegation also is a lot more serious financially. It might even create the same chance of more Kenwright influence.

Some type of all-consuming saga will continue for sure, for long-suffering Evertonians

As for the 115 minutes Duncan, I have long predicted it would come down to the last game of this relegation dogfight. Such is my confidence, I have taken the precaution of including injury time.

I can't see him playing Simms either so I'm half expecting to see Michael Keane back up front at some point tomorrow!

Regardless, we all need to be behind the lads tomorrow no matter what happens. And if we're 2-nil down at half time... put everything you've got on us to win 3-2!!

Good luck, everyone.

Get at them and don't give them any time on the ball, basic football principles!

My only genuine fear is a bad refereeing decision. (especially with get a grip Atwell, in the middle, and the supposedly best referee in the league Oliver - the man who destroyed one of the finest atmosphere’s I’ve ever witnessed at Goodison, with an appalling decision against Brentford, last season - 15 seconds before he gleefully sent Brainthwaith off - perhaps Michael has pulled his hamstring?)

I’ve read some absolute pony on these pages over the years, as well as being responsible for writing a load more, but being a bit worried about the big atmosphere backfiring by motivating rather than intimidating Bournemouth, does make them sound like Real Fucking Madrid!

I do understand what you’re saying Barry, because I honestly thought that last season’s massive atmosphere against Brentford, was enough motivation for Michael Oliver, to burst our bubble, by refusing to give us a stonewall penalty, at a time when we were absolutely blowing Brentford away, but maybe that’s what football does to us all at times?

Just my opinion, but tomorrow is definitely not a time for “ANY” negative thoughts or fear.

The set piece disparity is going to be absolutely crucial tomorrow. We have been dangerous from corners and free kicks around the box. Bournemouth are the most vulnerable in the league from set pieces.

Mina, Tarkowski, Keane are a nightmare for defenders. Deadball deliveries have to be spot on as there is a goal for us in this department.

A strategy will by Iwobi and McNeill even Gray will be encouraged to attack the defence to the byline and win corners. Or fake that and get in on goal. These are all players who have ability, skill and can drive to the byline and create the dead ball situations.

Dangers: we have to be totally drilled and focused on breakaways. This is Bournemouth's strong point. They break fast and can get five or six men in and around the box to support. We need to be totally alert from our own set pieces, in possession play the percentages, go wide. No sloppy passing in dangerous areas, Gana, Doucouré, Iwobi, Gray, stay switched on .

It's going to be a tense affair but, with true grit and a disciplined, professional performance, we can get the job done.

COYBLUES!

The battle for the necessary changes can ramp up again on Monday!

Time to be the 13th and 14th man

But whatever happens, til the end, forever blue 💙

Then the real fight starts to get this club run properly by people who want a successful club contesting every season to win trophies not just to be part of the premier league.

Pickford
Holgate Mina Tarks Myko
Garner Gana
Iwobi Doucoure McNeil
Simms

If Myko isn’t right then maybe Tarks to LB and Coady in, but think we chance 3-5-2 for first half at least:

Pickford
Coady Mina Tarks
Iwobi Garner Doucoure Gana McNeil
Simms Gray

Please boys, do the business tomorrow and let’s put this shite year behind us and start enjoying the idea of BMD.

Includes first half injury time.

You can pretty much guarantee it'll be a struggle to create any chances, and when they do they'll fall to fucking Maupay who will balloon it into the stands, or shank it wide of the post.

I have very little confidence in a team that has so many square pegs in round holes, and zero attacking threat. He must play Simms and Gray from the start - Simms might be raw but at least he's a focal point of sorts unlike the awful Maupay. And Gray gives us something a little bit different - he's one of very few who can create something out of nothing.

Also if Myko is out, I'd play 4 centre backs with Holgate (I know) on the right, Tarkowski on the left with Mina & Keane in the middle. Or he could play Coady in the middle with Keane on the right to avoid using calamity Holgate. Conceding will destroy us, and especially if we concede first because we have no goals in this team to get us out of it.

Worried? You bet I'm worried. My only hope is that Leicester could still struggle against West Ham. I can absolutely see us not beating Bournemouth and requiring other results to keep us up.

Dyke will know what the team will be by now, but I bet he has done plenty of head scratching because as James 43 has said there has to be a few square pegs in round holes.

I don't think either Leicester and Leeds are good things to win their games, so even though we need to play to win our game we may not need to.

https://www.sambafoot.com/news/everton-set-their-sights-on-the-botafogo-coach

As for tomorrow, I am hoping that the usual gang who met at Harlech Castle turn up again, for our last battle of the crusade. All are welcome and any new faces too. See ya all tomorrow hopefully.

COYB 💙💙

I would have tried Simms before now as he is the only other striker with a goal in him, albeit we have seen too little of him to form a clear opinion. But if Dyche still puts Maupay ahead of him, then what he's seeing in training must be absolutely dire and suggests his future will be in the Championship or lower.

It's been said before but we are fortunate to have our fate in our hands and if we fail at this point, we will deserve our fate.

100-plus minutes of pure support tomorrow, even if a player gives a poor pass, or doesn't make a tackle, get behind every player and stay behind them until the game is over.

Good luck to all Evertonians anywhere in the world tomorrow, as George would say "cosmic grooves", stay positive, keep the faith and hopefully we'll come out the other side with our long record intact.

I'm thinking "unity" here.

Such unexpected positivity and bon homie might spur the team to great things a banner reading "sorry for being naughty we were slightly overwrought" might just be the catalyst.

I might pen a song actually.

I just cannot bare to see a fellow Evertonian so delusional., they took such great care of Doddy, and I know for a fact they have been trying to get hold of Ian Edward's for quite a while now. I'll make some sandwiches for you, go have a lie down and I'll put the kettle on...

I'm partial to jam butties with the jam smeared sparingly but if you throw in an orange club biscuit as well - oh my!!

It's a deal - yummy.

I'm thinking the banner idea might not be your cup of tea (see what I did alluding to the "kettle"? - marvellous)

I’m thinking of going to the Pier head in the morning, Christine, because it’s a place of great solitude, especially on a Sunday, when those church bells are ringing, from across the city towards the waterfront.

I just hope tomorrow is also a day when we are not constantly checking our kettles, and can instead, spend most of the second half, telling Moshiri and Kenwright, that it’s time for our club to get real professional’s, in to run us properly🤞

So if we do have a pitch invasion, and get punished, then expect the same for Man City and Sheffield Wednesday.

Relegated? Cool? Wow.

Survive. Cool.

To the tune of I am a cider drinker

When the gloom surrounds the old place
And we don’t know if we’ll play
Look at Kenwright trying to raise us
Stuff it blame him anyway

I am a cider drinker
I drinks it all of the day
I am a cider drinker
It soothes all me troubles away

It’s so cosy where we’re sitting
In a place forever blue
And if the tv shows his image
Scream and hiss and loudly boo

For when the wheels of peace stopped turning
And Moshiri passed on through
Bringing grey clouds every season
You know just what to do.

I am a cider drinker
I drinks it all of the day
I am a cider drinker
It soothes all me troubles away

So remember every scapegoat
Is a person and this one’s blue
But don’t let truth get in the way now
kick him right up in the flue

I am a cider drinker
I drinks it all of the day
I am a cider drinker
It soothes all me troubles away

He didn't “lose” the King's Dock, he didn't want to go to Kirby – he fought tooth and nail not to go to Walton Hall Park? He really mortgaged his house for £1M and fixed Goodison Park himself with the Arteta money.

Only he turned up at the AGMs he cancelled, he didn't sell off everything that wasn't nailed down, and every Boys Pen occupant remembers him, his Uncle Cyri,l and his famous bike?

Someone else must be to blame then… 🤔💙

Apparently our game and Leicester's game are on Sky in the UK.
Here in the US, it's on USA channel.

Barry is also on TV as the main defense witness in the trial of the biggest conman ever known.

Momma’s little jewel is probably my favorite Mott song for what that’s worth.

Alright now baby, it's a alright now,
Alright now baby it's a alright now,
Yes we are so happy together,
It's alright, it's alright now.😀👮👮👮

I think it would be called aiding and abetting – not defence. Accepting mediocrity in the face of the enemy?

TV details if you are in the UK are here:

Premier League – Matchweek 38

Your baby doesn't love you anymore.
Golden days before they end
Whisper secrets to the wind
Your baby won't be near you any more

Tender nights before they fly
Send falling stars that seem to cry
Your baby doesn't want you anymore

I can't remember how it goes after that, or the title.

I hope it isn't, Martin!

That one's for the board.

[One or two lyrics changed. Sums up the season!]

There's no need for you to say you're sorry
Goodbye, we're going home
We don't care no more, so don't you worry
Goodbye, we're going home

We hate the way that even though you know you're worng
You say you're right
We hate our books you keep and all your friends,
Our football's shite, it keeps us up all night, up all night

There's no need for you to say you're sorry
Goodbye, we're going home
We don't care no more, so don't you worry
Goodbye, we're going home

We hate the way that you are so sarcastic
And you're not very bright
You think that everything you've done's fantastic
Our football's shite, it keeps us up all night, up all night

And it will be nice to be alone
For a month or two
But we know then we will be right
Right back here without you, without you
Without you, without you, without you, without you, without you

There's no need for you to say you're sorry
Goodbye, we're going home
We don't care no more, so don't you worry
Goodbye, we're going home.

Good riddance!!!

All the burning bridges that have fallen after me
All the lonely feelings and the burning memories
Everyone I left behind each time I closed the door
Burning bridges lost forevermore...

Friends all tried to warn me
But I held my head up high
All the time they warned me
But I only passed them by

They all tried to tell me
But I guess I didn't care
I turned my back and
Left them standing there.

Years have passed and I keep thinking
What a fool I've been
I look back into the past and
Think of way back then
I know that I lost everything I thought that I could win
I guess I should have listened to my friends...

All the burning bridges that have fallen after me
All the lonely feelings and the burning memories
Everyone I left behind each time I closed the door
Burning bridges lost forevermore...
Burning bridges lost forevermore.

Haven't got a clue about the team or the result tomorrow, but I have a good although nervous vibe about tomorrow. Can't really see us not winning though!

Cheers to everyone and good luck all – near, far and across the globe.

Whatever you are on, let's hope the government don't legalise it.

Not a single ounce of fear from me. I would have given my left arm to still be in this position, going into the final game of the season. We have had so much fortune the past few months, with other teams doing us favours, week after week.

Bournemouth will have a go, that's for sure, but everyone is thinking Leeds and Leicester are both going to win and suddenly turn into Man City.

If we blow this, we deserve everything we get, but results elsewhere will go our way, and I fancy Everton to turn up for this one. So relax everyone, don't worry if we go a goal down, Everton will find a way, they always do. Have a bit of faith and us Evertonians will do the rest to get the players over the line.

Kim #115, great musical callout for one of my favorite movies. Kelly's Heroes. Classic.

I am more nervous about the bastard 200 miles away in Stockley Park than I am of Bournemouth.

Well well, talk of the devil…….I've just noticed he's in charge of the Championship Playoff Final.

COYBs you must do this. YOU CAN DO THIS !!

My Dad somehow survived the period 1941-45 flying in them on a very regular basis under somewhat testing circumstances. He eventually returned home, the family celebrations being cut short by his father declaring “Get your coat, son, there's a match, we're going to Goodison”.

I'll go and have a chat with them both in the cemetery at SS Peter's and Paul's, Crosby, on the way to the game. I think we'll be okay.

Great film. But I never really twigged the connection with the song, if indeed there is one.

Looking forward to seeing Seanie's Heroes tomorrow evening.

Just win Everton.

UTFTs!
💙🤍⚽️⚽️⚽️🙏🙏👍💪🍻🍻🍻

God bless to George. I only spoke to him on the phone a few weeks ago.

Don't you dare let him down.

Fuck their fans, send them home the same way we were, utterly dejected.

Rob Halligan, bloody good point, mate. Let those Cherries fans travel here and back with scant reward.

I saw Gary Oneil's presser. I honestly detected a fairly laid-back approach, lots of injury worries and think they are ready to offer only "token" resistance.

Come on, let's put them to the sword.

I cannot put the news on here, but every single squad member, manager and backroom staff will know it for definite. This news will make them fight, blood, sweat and tears to get the victory required. This news might well be announced, maybe after we win tomorrow.

Come on, spill the beans.

Or are you spouting shite that will never see the light of day???

Passed the Old Lady a couple of hours ago and all really quiet and imagined how different the place will be in 24 hours time. So COYB and show these fuckers you are all here to fight for the points (all 3 of them) win your individual battles and leave the pitch to the deafening noise that the victory will bring.

PS - I sincerely hope that a Mr M Oliver gets a really really bad dose of the shits about 4pm coz he’s an utter trapper’s hat.

If I give you a cryptic message, ownership, can you give me a nod or a wink, thank god predictive text never kicked in on wink :-)

Another from Rob Halligan saying he's received news in the last hour… but won't reveal it.

Sorry, mate, but you know exactly as the rest of us.

Nothing.

If you cant tell us what it is, then why tell us that you know something at all?

"Sorry lads, I cannot divulge what I've been told, but it's made me convinced that we will win tomorrow."

Maupay has a hammy, hasn't he?

Does it involve a firearm or a shotgun?

I hope you can put in an appearance tomorrow at the Harlech Castle before the game. Quite a few going, so you can divulge the juicy details there! :-)

Can't be Kenwright because the players probably don't care one way or another. Must be very interesting takeover news?

The business dream of my old great and late lamented mate who tragically passed away a couple of years ago. Not available where I live now, unfortunately.

George Mc Kane, I wish you positive vibes and the best for a speedy recovery.

If you go the Harloch pub before the game, Rob, Derek will bring his thumbscrews with him and work on you.

Like that one, Don, two pleasures in one go at half-time.

Rob Haliigan, if it's the Xanax rehab story, mate, it's a loada bum, so take no notice.

Is it that they've realized if they don't win they might get relegated?

I hope this isn't a blag as your ‘info', sorry, post, is already doing the rounds on Twitter.

Am I close, Rob?

You've just reminded me of the Scottish vagrant, shouting “I hate Scousers” after claiming Yozzer Hughes had stolen his window!

Bournemouth are not going to roll over. They have a huge amount to play for, they can go up or down four places. this is a key game for them. So if they start spraying the ball around for 20 minutes, that should not come as a surprise.

Tomorrow is going to be tension wise the worst yet. If people want to know what threat we re going to have going forward, I would point you to the last hour of our game against Wolves.

I suspect Dyche will be thinking we keep it tight and nick one from a set piece. That means Bournemouth will have alot of the ball. That doesn't mean we don't have the right tactics, but it's going to be a horrendous watch.

But as long as we are ridiculously positive towards the team at all times, I reckon there is a good chance we get over the line.

For those not at the game, I'd have a think of how you're going to keep calm tomorrow cos even if it's looking good, both games can turn on a sixpence at any point, remember there's bugger all we can do about it, if we go down we'll just have to suck it up and take it on the chin.

This is our fourth go at Russian Roulette; one of these days, there'll be a bullet in the chamber, let's hope it s not tomorrow. But if it is we'll just have to bounce back like Burnley did.

Let's not forget though, we've had good times.

Everything else, including announcements, is secondary to those two events.

COYB

Lot´s of interesting posts here, for example Anthony #1, Jim #4, John #20, Tony #33, Barry #57 and Brian #117.

It goes without saying that Everton´s only aim today must be to win their home game against Bournemouth. We can´t rely on Leicester and Leeds failing in their own matches. Because you never know, even if they would be drawing, not to speak losing, they both, or one of them, could score a goal or two in the final stages and eventually win their respective games.

So Sean Dyche, his coaches, and above all, every Everton player must be mentally brave enough for going all out to win. While fighting for the cause from the first minute to the final whistle, and staying focused the whole match, hopefully the Everton players can at the same time keep their nerves. And cool heads – especially when they are in the scoring positions.

i think our starting line-up could very well be the one Lyndon suggested, based surely on how he predicts Dyche will decide. Many of us would prefer Simms to Gray as our main striker (Calvert-Lewin being unavailable). If Simms is not starting, at least Dyche should bring him on from the bench in good time and without hesitation if the score situation requires more attacking threat from us.

Surely the Goodison crowd will back our players vociferously and passionately. Don't let the anxiety creep in if the scores are unfavourable to us. They can change, and to the opposite of what I wrote in the beginning. And above all, we can also win at the death.

Whatever will be, will be. Hopefully that is Everton staying up!

Simms seems to be the one that Dyche trusts least, and it's hard to see him changing now, in the biggest game of the season.

It just can't be Maupay. Even Dyche must know that. So it will be Gray (or Keane).

He has scored goals everywhere he has been, albeit at a lower level, but the goal is the same size. He gets recalled from a successful goal-scoring loan at Sunderland, scores from the subs bench against Chelsea, then gets splinters in his arse, with (one in forty) Maupay getting the nod each time.

Dyche keeps saying he hasn't enough Premier League experience. How is he going to get that experience? To top it off, Tom Cannon gets loaned out too… beggars belief almost. I was all behind Dyche but this and other decisions and the timing and personnel of subs is causing a re-think!

Tossin' and turnin'
Turnin' and tossin'
Tossin' and turnin' all night - Bobby Lewis, 1961

Mykolenko is fit to play, isn’t he?

George, it happens when you try to change things. If you are in financial difficulties, the first thing that will happen is that you will lose your wallet. It's just a blip on your way to pursuing the life of an international popstar. Good Luck..

UTFT!

Guess what happened?

Just fucking hammer these southern softies. UTFT!!!!!

2-0

It's not life or death. People will be suffering ill health, pain, financial hardship, grief, at war, or starvation.

If relagation happens? We rebuild! We stay up? We must change to hopefully not be in this position again.

I know for many, Everton is a big part of our lives. Just spare a moment for those less fortunate and that will put things in perspective.

To all the players. Do your best is all we ask. Take care all.

...and feeling it!

Figuratively, of course. Bless the little fella.

We even have the Upper Bullen's away end…

This is as big as it gets for Everton FC: to all the Blues at Goodson Park today, somehow please get us over the line. Some big performances will be required on the pitch; I can't see many goals in this one so Pickford and McNeil I hope can deliver some magic today.

Win 1-0, lap of honour in a half-empty stadium, go home. Job done. UTFT.

Around 30 years ago, I went to a David Badiel and Rob Newman comedy show (pre Frank Skinner) at the Hammersmith Odeon in London with my fellow Northern students who were studying in London together.

It was a great show, but one joke really sticks in my head. Rob Newman, as part of his stand-up routine, pretended to make an announcement on car radios. He said 'A message to all the people travelling Northbound on the M1: "Fuck off, you Southern bastards!"

My friends and I started laughing, but then quickly shut up as there was general anger in the audience, and we were made to feel most unwelcome!

Rob himself realised his mistake and apologised to the audience saying, I'm really sorry about that, it worked really well in Glasgow last night!' LOL!

I still think it was the funniest thing of the entire evening. So, we have a message to Bournemouth supporters today.....

Actually I have nothing against Bournemouth fans, I just want us to win today! COYB!!

Hold Your Head Up – Argent

To those attending, do your thing and drag them across the line! Wish I was with you! COYB UTFT 💙

Great post, Ian R. Whatever happens today, the sun will still come up tomorrow and life will still go on.

Well, Graeme Sharp was appointed to the Board to help with football matters – didn't he tell Dyche about Tom Cannon?

Dyche had just got here – he wouldn't be expected to know about him.

But it's election day and we have to watch it without a drink. Can you imagine! Bloody democracy!

Our limited squad must perform at a level that only occasionally at a decent level in the last few seasons. It's up to all those lucky enough to be in Goodison Park today to support those playing until the final whistle.

Do it for the locals as they will be the ones getting ripped apart if the unthinkable happens. Do it for the thousands of away-day supporters who have travelled to Bournemouth twice in 4 days to be embarrassed and to many other regions, spending a fortune to support this club.

Whatever the outcome today, one thing that must happen is change! That starts after 6 pm. Whether we are in the Premier League or the other place, we must get change throughout this club. I'm not fixated on the obvious culprits but we must change the mentality and direction of this club.

I hope we turn up today with the attitude of Seamus on the stretcher. A leader and a fighter who loves this club. Let's get the job done collectively and move forward.

Finally, I send my best wishes to George McKane. Get well soon lad. I hope Everton in its collective form gives you a huge lift today. I never met George but his verses on here brought me to places in my mind that I never knew existed. Thanks, George.

The calm before the storm, I thought, this place is going to be so alike tomorrow, so hopefully a new dawn, a new board, and a new Everton, hopefully waking up from a very long and poisonous curse.

One of the biggest factors today is getting our players to remain calm, so it was refreshing to read that some members of the backroom staff have been heard to say that Finch Farm has been a much calmer place this week than it was 12 months ago, when we were in a similar disgraceful and embarrassing position.

Pragmatic Everton, hopefully, with pragmatic Evertonians, singing We Shall Not Be Moved!!! 💙🙏

Let's do it, guys.

Holding Back The Years, Money's Too Tight To Mention, and Give Me Just A Little More Time.

Simply Red, featuring Chairman of the Board.

A Brighton away performance will do the trick along with a glass or two.

Let us not give a reason for the Premier League or the board to turn us into a baying crowd of hooligans.

Instead, stay in your seats, clap the players off, then all four stands send a clear message out about the removal of those at the top – they cannot get away with going into next season, still making decisions at the top.

I really hope players haven't brought their kids for the end-of-season finale, as this is not a celebration of a good season.

Let's hope we come through it — nerves, heart and Premier League status intact.

Still quite a few hours before I have to set off to Goodison, but like you I feel very calm about it all. I was there for the Wimbledon game and the Coventry game, but I didnt feel as calm as I do today. Whether its misplaced confidence I don't know, but I just believe that we will win today. Maybe the fact that its in our own hands and we don't have to rely on results elsewhere if we win the game we stay up. Sean Dyche has said for many months the only time the league position counts is after the last game of the season, and when he joined we were 2nd bottom. Now I am sure he and us wished we had already secured our Premier league status already, but I do believe over the last few weeks the players have taken on a new mentality.

I am sure whoever he picks to replace DCL some will criticize but whoever it is we have to back them. Other than the Brighton game we have lacked goals but to be fair to Dyche DCL hasnt been fit for the majority of those games and his alternatives weren't great. I would just ask the fans not to go on the pitch whatever the result, as we will give the authorities to impose record fines and or a points deduction.

This team will still carry zero attacking threat, and lack balance from back to front. Bournemouth are way better than we are, and it's going to show later.

This ongoing reliance on supporters to somehow carry us for the last 30 years is really beginning to grate on me. Atmosphere at games is great, but I'm sick to death of hearing about our amazing fans being the difference - I want our fucking players to be the difference.

I'll be amazed if we win today.

How is this?
Instead, amid a £700m splurge, he retained Bill Kenwright as chairman and “we had new money applied to old Everton when we should have had new money applied to new Everton.” This is a spot on reflection of what happened.

Everton failed because they accepted mediocrity? Absolutely but it wasn't the fans who accepted mediocrity as they were never in a position to do anything. It was the club via Kenwright that accepted mediocrity. My opinion is that Kenwright allowed the club to sink into possibly irreversible decline due to his not looking for investment that benefited the club but only investment that enriched him obscenely.

And out of the fit players we have, Keane is the one who has scored the most goals for Everton.

I have wondered if a factor in Sean Dyche, and before him, Frank Lampard, not starting Keane up front is a fear of being seen as "old school".

But we need goals, whatever way they come. And most teams have worked out our far post corner to Tarkowski.

As to whether who would link up with Keane, and whether 4-4-2, well, that's another debate. But right now, I'm off to the pub with my prayer mat.

I echo your words about the lack of threat with CL missing again, we are a much more dangerous attacking side with him playing.

I'm hoping that Leicester and Leeds fail to win which I think is very likely, West Ham are in form and Spurs don't turn into a bad team overnight.

We have somehow to conjure a win in our game though and it will interesting to see what team Dyche picks, he will have a stratagy worked out I've no doubt.

Regardless of what happens in the other games we have to play to win the game and I live in hope we can.

Very best wishes to someone who always made me smile, get well George, 4-0 (?) today mate,I hope the Blues cheer you up today.

Historically speaking, yes, but the current team is shocking! No matter, the fans will get them over the line… or staying above the relegation line! :) COYB!!

I've got my cousin Richard who last night has turned up on my doorstep having flown back home from Prague for this game. He is desperate for a ticket to see us stay up on this fine day. If you can help give me a call on 0792 616 03OO. We will be around the stadium from 3.

Cheers Mark

Come on Sean Dyche pick a winning side and motivate all the players to have their best ever games. Make sure they give their all, but nothing over the top. No sendings-off!

Plenty of good luck today!

COYB!
WSNBM!

I went to David Baddiel / Footlights gig about 35 years ago in Leatherhead, Surrey. The best gag was when one of the cast started to say "What do you get if you cross a security guard…" before the guard himself jumped in with "Trouble!"

That's what we need to give the Bournemouth defence today. Lots and lots of trouble.

First song that popped up on Spotify?

"Here's Where the Story Ends" by The Sundays.

Bugger.

And of course my day started early due to watching a win for Bournemouth (Chris Billam Smith). Hopefully that's their last for the 24 hour period.

My dad had open heart surgery last weekend and, at his request, was handed a piece of paper with the Wolves score written on it as he came to on Sunday. Even in the face of mortality, Everton were at the forefront of his mind.

You'd better put a performance in today, Everton. We expect blood, sweat and, if there are going to be tears, make sure they're of joy.

UP THE FUCKING TOFFEES

Of course we can win today, regardless of his absence.

Given our financial plight, today is possibly the most important day in the club's long and proud history.

Support the manager and players today and staff off the pitch!

I'll need a drink or two to get me through today. What can possibly go wrong?

Take us.

Having said that, I don't see many Evertonians being prepared to put up with second-tier football just to see the back of the shyster and his pathetic Board mates. After all, these absentee worthies have appointed a manager who has spent his career shuffling round the 'lower reaches' and will feel well at home 'down there'. He's a relegation specialist!

Pickford
Garner
Coady
Mina
Tarkowski
McNeil
Onana
Gana
Iwobi
Doucoure
Gray

damn, no Maupay.

Unless you count The Stuart Hotel on the corner of Bedford Road.

We should win but we are talking about Everton here… please Blues just fucking win. I don't care if it's a 1-0 and it's voted the jammiest ugliest goal of the season – just WIN!! 🙏🏼

I am cabin crew and I don't think I am going to give a good service today as my mind will be elsewhere, lol.

Words won't suffice, so I'll quote Leslie Neilson from Airplane:

"I just wanted you all to know, good luck, we're all counting on you."

But it maybe a red, or should I say blue, herring.

Can't argue with Coady's inclusion. The decision to bench both our forwards is perhaps a little strange, given our need to score goals, but what do I know?

This formation it seems to me will mean we have more of the ball, but will do fuck all with it. It's going to be a long afternoon…

60 years a Blue and was there against Wimbledon and Coventry but I didn't feel as nervous as I do today. I'm just not confident. I can't see where the goals are coming from.

I pray I'm wrong and the team gets the job done today. I can't be at the Old Lady today which makes things even worse. The next 3½ hours are going to be hell.

Oh wow, I'm rambling. COYB! PLEASE!

This is our day of reckoning. How we got here reads like a roadmap to hell. Like all of you, I love Everton. Everton is in my blood, in my soul. One match and our fate is sealed.

Please Everton just do it for us – one more win, and then we can reset. We can become great again!

Can I just say one thing, to all those here on TW who post that we are not going to win: Shut Up! Not today, I don't want to hear it. If you can't post anything positive when we need everyone supporting the team, then don't post.

We need to back ourselves and each other… no moaners – not today.

Come On You Blues!

Girl, your nerves will take a hammering today but you won't half enjoy your glasses of Scotch after the game and you can toast the Blues and your late uncle who introduced you to the Blues.

It's going to be hard, girl, but we've seen it all before, too many times, and hopefully this is the last time we have to go through this trauma, that's the price of following the Blues.

You might not enjoy the match but you will savour the outcome.

Good luck, I'm sure you will have a way of finding out the scores... I've been on a right few flights where the pilot or co-pilot has updated passengers on sporting events!

COYBFFS

Dave, I looked at the half-empty bottle of Grouse and wondered do I need it before or after? This season, there have been too many times I needed to settle my nerves. If the bottle is too close, I'll be swigging out of it… I'd better lock it up!