Premier League — Matchweek 18

The pubs looked very quiet today, and so did the bookies, but I suppose anyone who wants to have a bet can now just access one of those online betting websites!

I'm sure it'll be back to normal tomorrow when the football resumes, but so far the Christmas holiday has felt a lot different this year.

Yes, Tony, Boxing Day was a lot livelier years ago. I know I'm old now and we are better off in some ways in life but plenty of good things have also gone out of the window.

Cracking goal that one.

The 3rd Round of the FA Cup day was always sacred, four quarter finals on the same day was always special, and so was the game on Boxing Day.

We are definitely better off in a lot of ways, Ray, but a part of me also feels that we have also lost a lot along the way.

Maybe it's an age thing, but I suppose I'm still the type of person who would rather see the crescent than the whole of the moon!

I remember me and two other lads, one being Mick with sticky fingers, going to Lime Street one Boxing Day morning to get the train to Birmingham where Everton were playing.

But there was no train going to Birmingham... so, being clever kids, we got one to Manchester and then we would get one to Birmingham from there.

But there wasn't a train going to Birmingham from Manchester either so we went to Old Trafford to see Man Utd and the Busby Babes demolish Charlton Athletic 5-2 at the same time Everton were getting fucked 6-2 by Birmingham City.

After the game, we went to a cinema in Manchester — The News Theatre( ?) which had a restaurant downstairs with a man playing a piano —- dead posh.

Anyway, we weren't brassic but didn't have much, but ordered what we could afford — a bowl of tomato soup and a some chips each. When we finished the meal, I told Sticky Fingers to go and ask the pianist to play a song; the pianist told him to ‘Do one'

But on the way back to our table Sticky stopped at all the empty tables and told us with a grin: "There's money on all those tables — or there was!" he'd half inched all the tips, so we did what the pianist had told Sticky what to do and we all ‘did one' very smartish and shared the dough!

The next day, we went to Goodison and watched the Blues work it up Birmingham 5-1.

Barcodes must be kicking themselves for not getting a point from this game.

It's not football, Tony, it's the Premier League.

What I have seen of Wolves, they have been totally crap, but a tad unlucky mostly, and haven't deserved to lose almost every game, let's hope that continues later today!

But, hey, 10-57pm, and this cricket. Finally, after what 15 years? Mind you 68 runs to get seems scary.

5468 days, 18 tests,15 years.

And we beat them down under.

That was some fourth innings.

We will win at their tall tin shed next season in front of the Norwegians.

Today we will win 2-1.

Cricket, second only to footy.

Morris Dancers with a Bat and Ball more like, supposedly grown men, with enlarged googlies and middle wickets, running round like headless chickens, making a show of themselves in a drinking contest, is that the sport you are on about? :-)

Oh, Time for Tea!

You clearly need some education, given your bizarre description. Me and Rob will be happy to help.

So, what's your second sport, Derek?

Rain doesn't stop our game?

We face it -- men with brollies! :-)

I was on about life in general because the pubs in town didn’t look busy, on a day that has traditionally always been one of busiest days of the year.

With top-flight football returning today, I expect everywhere to be a lot busier and looking at the highlights of the United v Newcastle game this morning, I don’t think the EPL, has done anything to ease the concerns of the people who maybe think that the game is corrupt, at the highest level in English football.

I’m aware that for football to continue being so popular, now that it’s reached saturation levels, with regards being shown on television, that there needs to be controversy, but surely they could spread the controversy around in equal measures, instead of consistently favouring certain teams?

Also 2 goalkeepers (must be the latest trend)...

Gobshites!

I suppose they've got a couple of decent players too. But this Premier League seems really tough, such a hard slog to score a goal.

Pathetic the way a Forest player would fall down every time a City cross came into their area. Why don't them PGMOL fuckers punish such cynical cheating?

Fast, athletic, aggressive, skilful and strong... I just wish the referee would let the game flow a bit more!

We're a few transfer windows and a manager away from this.

Moyes is becoming a major fucking problem!

We are so rigid. Not only do our full-backs rarely run forward, they hardly ever pass the ball forward to the wide player in front of them.

People also talk about our lack of pace, which is a very valid point, but nothing or nobody should move faster than the ball. I just wish I didn't have to sit through most Everton games constantly muttering under my breath: "Play the ball fucking quicker!"

I suppose the closest to angry I get are Coco and Jellybean up front. But even here it tends to be yet another head in hands moment and sheer horror at who recruited Barry over the summer when we needed a 'striker' not this gangly thing we ended up with.

Sadly, our strikers are a laughing stock in my part of the world, a fucking Wolves fan was even mocking them. I just wish either Coco or Jellybean or both in a world where strange monsters stalk the land would do something to make us proud, so that I can give something back.

We are just a little ball suspended in the air, a bit like one of McNeil's crosses.

One we let go has just scored his 8th this season for Leeds Utd.

Okay he was in a slump but, if you are going to get rid, make sure the replacements are superior. The scouting at Everton must be second rate. In recent seasons, quite a few players have left and shone at other clubs: Onana, Digne and Iwobi come to mind.

Where would we be in the table with a proper striker?

We chose not to give Calvert-Lewin a new contract. And we bought Bootsie and Snudge. Is that about right?

Luckily we've a team of crack football brains managing our comings and goings. Onwards to mediocrity! Sorry, we're already there

Farke has changed to a 3-5-2, and it's bringing goals and points. Calvert-Lewin isn't isolated chasing lost causes "Everton style" which has been the Everton way for years.

Another reason year after year we are so starved of seeing goals.

You're probably just dangling the old fly in the stream, but I'll bite anyway -- as long as you promise to release afterwards!

We chose not to give Calvert-Lewin a new contract. And we bought Bootsie and Snudge. Is that about right?

Bootsie??? He was such a shortarse that Sgt Snudge looked a giant among men... but I digress.

As far as we know, the facts are that Dominic Calvert-Lewin was offered a new contract with Everton a long time before his existing contract expired in June 2025. He didn't sign that contract, and it was apparently on the table a long time.

After 9 years of incredible support from EFC, and untold millions in wages, he walked away a free agent. Seems he wanted more money than Everton were offering, or he thought he could get a lucrative gig and Champions League footy with Newcastle. But no dice... and he ended up at Leeds Utd, fresh outta the Championship.

Beto was already at the club, he joined in August 2023 and eventually fooled us all with a purple patch where he scored 5 goals in as many games during February 2025.

Barry was signed on 8 July 2025, so he may have been scouted some time earlier, but yes, he's been a bit of a flop.

He was offered a new contract a long time earlier, when we were in relegation trouble constantly, playing dire football with him totally isolated upfront under Dyche's style of football, and an owner who was trying to sell the club, and the board not going to Goodison, the club was in crisis?

Michael, would you sign a new contract under them conditions?

I thought we would have to get the sniffer dogs out to find him when I was told Calvert-Lewin had scored Yet again.

Well Itchy's safe and well Anybody seen Scratchy?

I guess I'm just frustrated that, where once we had Calvert-Lewin and Richarlison, we now have... sorry about Bootsie and Snudge -- I had been trying to fashion something around Wilson, Keppel and Beto...

But Wilson, Keppel and Betty are a bit more entertaining than our lot.

I suppose a question for MK might be something like this: Who would you rather have starting up front mate? Calvert-Lewin, Coco, or Jellybean? An answer that it is all hypothetical is not acceptable and will be judged ducking and weaving!

In a long while with us, Calvert-Lewin always, in my opinion, gave his best, scored some memorable, important, and 'great' goals, and his all-round play -- holding the ball, for example, and knock-downs -- was very good.

I will not judge him ultimately by the amount of time he spent in the sick room. How much of that was his fault, for goodness sake? It is a regular rant and rave on here to question our medics when someone is thinking about the number of injuries we pick up that seems to have become a trend for so long.

Calvert-Lewin cost us £1.5M, for fuck's sake! Now he has done very nicely thank you very much in his 9 years with us. But he has repaid that £1.5M to us over and over again, including a goal that saved us from the drop with the drastic financial consequences that would have followed and some said at the time might have bankrupted us.

That goal against Palace alone earned this club 4-5 times anything the club ever paid him. That along with 70 other goals he scored ensured that he owes us nothing -- except maybe a couple of fingers to his detractors. Who is to say we would ever have come back if he hadn't scored it?

We'll never know how good he could have been if Everton managers hadn't panicked and played him knowing he was injured. Or if Carlo hadn't sacrificed his career on the altar of the big boot after quitting on the job -- "I'm not a magician".

If Leeds had have done the same thing with Calvert-Lewin as a string of Carlo's successors had done with him, they would have gotten the same results. They're not. They are trying to support rather than isolate.

It's been fun highlighting the "judgement" of his detractors and his abusers, but he's gone now. So I'm done discussing him.

Time for this club to stop this accursed ploy of isolating a striker and thinking it's a good idea, It's also time for the footballing Einsteins on here to stop blaming the worst served strikers in Europe for the lack of goals.

Much more, Darren, mate.

The way we've "fed" our strikers for decades makes us a graveyard for any striker of ability and the correct attitude, and I expect every agent on the planet has known this for yonks, hence we find ourselves bent over a barrel when it comes to signing anyone of note.

Leeds, Leeds for Gawd's sake, have fashioned a way to feed him like we never did and look what happens.

I wonder who was to blame for our woeful purchasing history?

Sigh.