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Arsing Around on ToffeeWeb (AAOTW)

By Tony I'Anson :  11/08/2010 :  Comments (32) :
As the season approaches, I find my mind drifting more and more towards the start of our campaign to win the League and Cup double. Is this a form of escapeism from the reality of life?

If I'm not at my PC tapping the keys and clicking the mouse, then I'm not earning a crust. But, like many PC based jobs, tasks become repetitive (bank reconcile to do today, so hence the article) and with the slightest excuse, ToffeeWeb has been pulled up on screen "just for a quick look". This is generally not to see if there is any major announcement, but pretty much to see if anything of interest has been posted, or if anyone has slagged me off or agreed with any comments made on other articles. Before you know it, over an hour has gone by...

We all know that regular screen breaks need to be taken for health and safety reasons or really just to get rid of the numb bum after hours at the desk. But I find that screen break time also involves flicking through ToffeeWeb, the Official site and any other reliable news sources to find out what they are saying about matters relating to Everton.

When I finally get up from my seat, stroll into the kitchen, pick up the TV controller to catch the news: unemployment is up; VAT going up; more government cuts; more floods; death and destruction everywhere; urban violence and murders on the streets... ie. the same old news. So flick over to Channel 83 and Sky Sports News to see who is buying Liverpool today and why Martin O'Neill left Villa?

Is anyone else the same? Has your boss blocked or from the office network after the stats showed the site had been accessed too many hours a month? Do you find yourself at the PC with a can of lager on match day? Were you much happier when we had no Internet and you had to go out to the pub to discuss Everton or to find out the latest rumours about what was going on? When was the last time you read a RedTop and believed a word they said? Is the Pink Echo still available after the match?

With Everton, ToffeeWeb, PC, iPhone and Me at the ready, I think we are in for a great season. I bet all the players and staff can't wait to get stuck in either and if any of you read this posting, I would just like to pen my envy towards you, as you work for Everton Football Club. If Carling did jobs... that would be the best job in the World and I would do even more "AAOTW".

Reader Comments

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Brian Waring
1   Posted 11/08/2010 at 16:04:27

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I came upstairs at 1:20pm to start packing (my other half said I have to do it myself) for our hols to the South of France tomorrow, switched the computer on, still haven't packed, and still flicking through ToffeeWeb. I'm scared to switch off, just in case I miss something!!!
Phil Bellis
2   Posted 11/08/2010 at 16:47:23

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It was pointed out to me that the monthly stats show ToffeeWeb is the 3rd most accessed site by the whole of the company

It was also noted that I am the only Evertonian in this southern-based company... (whistles softly)
Les Green
3   Posted 11/08/2010 at 16:52:11

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Similar to you Tony, I also have a PC based job and my boss is a knob as he won't let us near TW or Facebook (not even personal email). Unfortunately he seems to have forgotten that I work in IT and can get at it anyway.

First thing in the morning I won't do a tap until I've skimmed all the links for new data (TW, BBC, Echo & Post, the red tops, SSN, OS etc.)

Mike Green
4   Posted 11/08/2010 at 16:53:52

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My name is Mike

And I am a Toffeewebolic.
Stephen Kenny
5   Posted 11/08/2010 at 17:06:12

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When I finally get up from my seat, stroll into the kitchen, pick up the TV controller to catch the news: unemployment is up; VAT going up; more government cuts; more floods; death and destruction everywhere; urban violence and murders on the streets... Thats just on County Road!!

Much the same except I always need to start my day with a trawl through the various different websites that may possibly have once carried a story that mentioned EFC.

This usually takes me to my lunchtime break when I start the process again!!
Mark Murphy
6   Posted 11/08/2010 at 17:23:07

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They can see how much time I spend on Toffeeweb???


Thats me out on me arse!
Cushiest job I ever had anall!

Ah well, were gonna win the league!

James I'Anson
7   Posted 11/08/2010 at 17:19:43

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Are there actually other websites out there?

I've been on so long now that other sites can't be downloaded on to my laptop. My anti-virus software simply wont allow it. Apart from NewsNow Everton.

Tony I'Anson
8   Posted 11/08/2010 at 18:14:07

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Last time I was in the area, I made this video and even featured The Wimslow, The Spellow and Royal Oak as well as Everton Two & Goodison.

I like the funnies already posted. - keep up the good work so I know I'm not alone.

David Price
9   Posted 11/08/2010 at 18:02:45

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Had a break from TW today and took the lad to the Everton shop. Drove round the ground. Amazing how that chill down the spine never fails after not seeing the place for a couple of months. Checked on the latest redevelopment of Goodison that was in full swing. Actually it was 3 blokes giving outside a fresh coat of blue paint along Gwladys St.

Parked up near the marquee, saw a car in Lord Whatisname's parking space. Tempted to put a flyer on his wipers saying "Donovan please". Thought again in case cctv gets me a ban.

In the shop, Arteta shirt for the boy, Cahill for me, gone for long sleeves, ideal for wiping the nose in February whilst shivering on the Top Balcony.

Spent enough to fund Pienaar's improved deal, even the dog has now got an Everton lead and water bowl.

Back to the car and a quick spin round the ground, the redevelopment has turned the corner onto Bullens Rd, all the banners hanging with pride down Goodison Rd, The atmoshpere around a closed football arena is still shouting "Up for the challenge".

Ready for home and in need of a TW fix. Nothing on Radio City, laptop calling, banter required. Home at last.

Thor Sørensen
10   Posted 11/08/2010 at 20:32:09

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Brilliant video, Tony! Liverpool is such a wonderful place! :-D Can't wait to go there again.

"Do you find yourself at the PC with a can of lager on match day? Were you much happier when we had no Internet and you had to go out to the pub to discuss Everton or to find out the latest rumours about what was going on?" ? every time Everton play! Living in Norway all sites about Everton, and mainly ToffeeWeb for me, are absolutely VITAL for me. It has made things a million times easier. It's not that many years ago I had to rely on BBC Five Live on broadwave AM radio, across the North Sea, resulting in terrible sound quality.
Michael Kenrick
11   Posted 11/08/2010 at 21:47:49

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Mike Green... Toffeewebolic?!? You make it sound like that old soap (whatever happened to carbolic?).

I think, etymologically speaking, it should be "ToffeeWebaholic".
Tony I'Anson
12   Posted 11/08/2010 at 22:15:31

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Michael how many hours a day do you and Lyndon spend aaotw?
Mike Green
13   Posted 11/08/2010 at 22:35:54

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Hhhmmm... yes, you're right Michael.... or maybe even "Toffeewebic"... I think that might be it. It's a disease.... I cant help it....
Tony I'Anson
14   Posted 11/08/2010 at 22:44:01

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To fix illness try and get some psychotwebtherapy. Please forgive, it's been a long day!
Tony I'Anson
15   Posted 11/08/2010 at 22:54:21

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Are Toffeewebacondriac's really fans of the dark side who register on TW to wind us up?
Tony J Williams
16   Posted 11/08/2010 at 23:05:31

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I used to mainly visit another forum Evertonians of 606 but it was blocked in work so ended up trying this and I have started spending more time here at home than the other site now.
Brendan McLaughlin
17   Posted 11/08/2010 at 23:14:41

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My name is Brendan...I am a Toffeewebaholic!
Mike Green
18   Posted 11/08/2010 at 23:24:50

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Distastrous TA meeting last night.

"It's been 0 days since I last visited Toffeeweb..."

Think they understood. They're disappointed in me morethan anything I think. Brian says if it happens again I might have to leave the group... God if they knew what I was up to now, I've been on it all day... just five minutes more... maybe ten...
Dick Fearon
19   Posted 11/08/2010 at 22:26:04

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To satisfy your Everton needs, you guys have got it easy, spoilt rotten with iPods. Facebook and twittering to each other not to mention wall-to-wall TV Sports plus of course good old TW.

It is all a far cry from many years ago when I came to a small rural town in this land down under. Adapting to my new life, there were a few culture shocks, the worst being completely cut off from any contact with English football. I refuse to use that bastard title "Soccer" to describe our game.

In a desperate attempt at picking up the BBC overseas broadcast, my sons festooned nearby trees with a few hundred yards of aerial wire. On Saturday's while the rest of you were at the game, listening at home or in the pub, it would be after midnight here and I would be crouched over my so-called wireless, desperately hoping that, through almost impenetrable static, I might, just might, hear the tiniest mention of my beloved Everton.

Good hearted rellies would post Liverpool Echos and, though they might be weeks old, they were voraciously read by myself, sons and Evertonian wife. I may still have to contend with those ridiculous listening and nowadays courtesy of Sky viewing hours but, hey, I suppose I can?t expect everything.

My main hope for the coming season is to do the double over our neighbours across the park. That?s not too much to ask, is it?>

Peter Bourke
20   Posted 12/08/2010 at 07:39:45

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I just did a quick look around some opposition forums and fan web sites and I have to say that we are very spoilt here at ToffeeWeb. Although I don't always agree with Mike and Lyndon at times, I am very grateful of the service they provide and am thankful they are Evertonians.

I raise my glass to the team at Toffeeweb Towers.

Sam Hoare
21   Posted 12/08/2010 at 08:15:51

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My name is Sam and I am a ToffeeWebaholic.

First thing every day and likely once every couple of hours throughout the day.

The only other site i visit as much is to glean any other everton related titbits...
Mike Green
22   Posted 12/08/2010 at 08:31:31

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Bloody hell Sam, what did you do that for?!

Just had a look at your link - looks like I'm going to end up a newsnowoholic now too!!!

Will we never be set free....?
David Chait
23   Posted 12/08/2010 at 11:09:36

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Yeah first site I check in the morning and each 30 minutes is Newsnow for Everton... then ToffeeWeb at the same time.

Honestly, TW has some haters (mostly from kipper lovers) and was being hammered for being overly negative... don't hear that too much anymore. TW just is by far the most superior supporter site I have ever seen, and the discussions of a level that its clear the users understand football and are interested in the inner workings. They might not agree, but is it possible to say TW is the intellectuals' supporter site, if there is such a thing in football... I mean any site that publishes financial results and analysis on them and can cause pages of discussion is pretty special.
Thor Sørensen
24   Posted 12/08/2010 at 12:20:35

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I remember in the "good, old days" (for me, that would be the mid 90s ;-) ), when come Saturday at five o'clock the only thing to confirm Everton's result to me was usually two single digits on the teletext.

I had to wait until Wednesday for the match-report to arrive in my mail box (you know, the tin box on the outside of my building, nothing to do with any internet).
Tony I'Anson
25   Posted 12/08/2010 at 13:55:43

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Afternoon in the office and back on TW again. Many thanks for all the banter.

On a more serious note, I wonder if TW Towers have considered the possibility of franchising their concept for all other fan bases in the world. Maybe this could be a revenue share concept or charge to set up "MillwallWeb" for example and charge for your IT support and expertise. Lyndon, it may even become a full time job for you!!

There must be other "AAOTW" type people all over the globe looking for a professional outlet to vent their views about their favoured Club.

I noticed that direct links are now appearing on TW to the Everton website, so I have the distinct impression that the Boys have been speaking to EFC commercial department. Michael, maybe they could help fund this venture and get a slice of your global profits when it takes off. Bill K could be the dragon coming to visit your den!!
Eugene Ruane
26   Posted 12/08/2010 at 16:00:44

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Agree with the general positive sentiment being expressed here, but any chance of a section dedicated to photographs of hastily drawn, sore-looking, Everton-related tattoos, etched into spotty white malnourished backs?
Tony I'Anson
27   Posted 12/08/2010 at 16:20:43

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Eugene, I was waiting for your wit. Don't have a tattoo, but you can see these pictures of my pitch invasion at Goodision. No way they were gonna catch me. I got to sit in DM chair too.
Alex Kociuba
28   Posted 13/08/2010 at 22:01:57

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This could possibly be the only day in the year where everyone agrees and is in good spirits! ...It makes me sick! Let's have a Bill Kenwright is a monster / ground move argument!
Kevin Fitzsimons
29   Posted 13/08/2010 at 22:39:17

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Well, I have a COMPLAINT: just going to bed for a much needed early night and thought I would have a quick look on here... Soon I was AAOTW before even knowing what AAOTW even was.

Then I see a post from Tony which talks about "Toffeewebacondriac's" .... now feck knows what one of those is but if you look closely there's BACON in the middle. Now what else has bacon in the middle (apart from a pig).

Yep, a Bacon Sarnie.... so no early night ... a wee bevvy and a Bacon Sarnie..... It's gonna be a long hard season! COYB

Tony I'Anson
30   Posted 14/08/2010 at 09:03:09

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Sat. 14/08/10. 9:05am. AAOTW again.

Kevin, this has been an underlying social problem that has wrecked British society in the last 10 years.

It's largely unregulated, uncontrolled and takes place at all hours in the morning, especially at weekends. A time when foul mouthed youths use eloquent, well contructed, prose to criticise their peers to unprecidented levels. It has even been known for the ageing population take matters into their own hands by joining in such activity to defend their way of life and point of view.

It has been the cause of the failure of many businesses as employees and business owners are gripped by the problem. And every now and then, respected public figures in the community are found out to have the AAoTW syndrome by posting their own article.

I say we call for a public enquiry as to how and why we find ourself in this current state of affairs. And heads should roll for this.
Tony I'Anson
31   Posted 14/08/2010 at 09:47:10

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+++++NEWS FLASH+++++++

AAoTW (trademark pending) is correctly used with a small letter o.

- o -

Above is the proposed draft layout of the branding that vicitims of this terrible affliction may have to wear on official merchandise. Liverpool City Council are considering the proposal in the aftermath of reports of mass infitration onto the streets of the City. Experts have advised that by encouraging people to own up to their addiction, they will be at least half way there towards solving the problem. They also advise that if controlled, they can regulate it and even tax it.

As a result T-shirts, hats, keys rings, dog bowls, wallpaper, pens, scalves and a complete range of merchandise will be available in high street retail outlets in a range of sizes from XXL, XXXL & XXXXL in the colour of Blue and Pink. Contract negociations with a manufacturer of said items are currently being drawn up with a sweat shop in Thailand for the mass production of these items where demand is thought to be huge, based on the anticipated scale of this potential epidemic. However, there are already reports that unscrupulous traders are already offering fake copies of this merchandise at reduced prices on the streets of the City.

A spokesperson for was unavailable for interview, but released this statement via their solicitors: "We only encourage people to use our service in moderation and in their own time. We never advocate excessive indulgence in what is largely a very enjoyable and positive experience for the vast majority of our contributing subscribers and viewers. We will be interested to find out if any official research into the supposed problem has been conducted, or is this just media conjecture and scaremongering, without being based on hard facts and evidence. We take the view that this is part of a much bigger Social problem this Media revolution has brought about and wait with baited breath the details of any Government legistation that will resolve alleged problem once and for all".

If you know anyone who you think may have AAoTW, please come forward or talk to someone. It's never too late.
David Hallwood
32   Posted 14/08/2010 at 14:19:08

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Just back from my hols, which was far from civilisation and moble phone signals. And on Wednesday, I gave her indoors the slip and found an internet cafe to log on to TW. Fuck me, it's worse than crack.

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