Skip to Main Content
Members:   Log In  |  Sign Up

Not Rocket Science

By Dave Richman :  12/12/2010 :  Comments (17) :
I read this quote from David Moyes in one of the newspapers with some interest:

Moyes said: "I tried freshening things up in the second half and I thought we were a poorer team. My decisions as a manager were poor today and I have to look at that.

"The worrying thing is we are not beating the teams at Goodison Park we have done in previous seasons. I?m looking to see if there is any reason for it beyond simply not taking our chances.

"Today, I couldn?t see any. You don?t get better chances in the Premier League than we did today. They were shared around among different players and nobody converted any of them."

The key for me is the fact that he couldn't find any reason other than that we couldn't it a cow's arse with a banjo (paraphrasing!).

I compiled this list in about 5 minutes.....

1. Stop picking the 'striker' who is woefully out of form. Fuck me, Distin looked more dangerous than Saha yesterday. Beckford MUST start.

2. If I see all 11 back defending corners again... I really am in serious danger of breaking something valuable. Put two on the halfway line and the opposition have to leave at least three there, and so it goes... or one on the halfway line, and someone a little deeper to link if we get the ball.

3. Because of 2. above, we can never attack on the break. If we clear it, it just comes straight back.

4. This apparent rule that only Baines and Neville are allowed to take throw-ins means we lose all momentum..... it's fucking stupid and allows the opposition to re-group every time we win a throw.

5. Don't put useless great big injury prone lumps at right wing!!!!!!

6. We have highly experienced and established Nigerian, Russian and Dutch international players playing ? at best ? cameo roles. Use them or bloody well sell them and get guys in that you want.

7. Give Magaye Gueye SOMETHING!!!!! He's a wide player and he hasn't had a single second on the pitch in the League yet... He absolutely cannot be worse than Vic out wide... it's not possible!

8. It might be an idea to NOT construct the entire team around Tim Cahill. Yes, he's the only player looking capable of scoring right now, but it is negating everyone else's strengths.

9. Stop trying to walk it in fer chrissakes!! If you don't shoot, you don't score (unless you're Liverpool and rely on pennos and own goals).

10. Play everyone in their correct position.

11. Allow the players to express themselves! We have some bloody good players, but there appears to be an obsession with shape, and some perceived 'game plan' (which is definitely not apparent to me).

As I said, that was knocked together in 5 minutes (and posted on a Facebook group).....

Reader Comments

Note: the following content is not moderated or vetted by the site owners at the time of submission. Comments are the responsibility of the poster. Disclaimer

Brian Lloyd
1   Posted 12/12/2010 at 16:24:35

Report abuse

Can't disagree with any of your points, Dave ? apart from the obvious addition of...
12. Get a manager who can remedy points 1 to 11.
Chris Matheson
2   Posted 12/12/2010 at 17:11:42

Report abuse

Dave I can't find much to disagree with. Do you mind if I chuck in one of my own?

- Vary our attack so that EVERYTHING doesn't have to go out to the wings for a cross to be lumped back in to the box. It is slow, predictable and easy to defend against.
Al Reddish
3   Posted 12/12/2010 at 17:36:51

Report abuse

Gueye... so secret, no fucker knows where he is!
Lee Courtliff
4   Posted 12/12/2010 at 18:42:06

Report abuse

Apparently "big" Vic has scored ONE league goal in each of the last 3 seasons! Awesome. How many did Bily get last season?

I am generally speaking a fan of Moyes but I must admit I wasn't that surprised we didn't win yesterday. The man has baffled me many times but never more than the last few weeks when he has continued to play Saha. It's getting to the point where I am starting to think it must be me that is missing something.

Moyes wouldn't play him if he thought it wouldn't help the team win. I just wish I knew his reasons for thinking Saha is,currently, a better bet than the Yak. Or Beckford. Or even me! I just don't see it.

Jamie Sweet
5   Posted 12/12/2010 at 20:10:41

Report abuse

Good points Dave. Will Moyes address any of these in the near future apart from when forced to do so (point 8 will be forced upon him soon)? I very much doubt it ? although surely Saha will be dropped. Surely??!! Even my Nan can see he's shit.

Moyes is too stubborn.

He's gone stale.

We need a fresh approach.

I think it's time for him to go, but all the time his bum chum Bill is in charge, this isn't going to happen.
Jeff Armstrong
6   Posted 12/12/2010 at 20:09:26

Report abuse

Someone (I know, I know....) once said "football is a simple game made complicated by IDIOTS" Sometimes I feel Moyes overcomplicates the psychology side, I mean, after coming off the bench and scoring at Chelsea (that after a week of criticism over the WBA missed chances), who would not start with Beckford.. and instead go with an unpopular, lazy, half-fit, non-scoring, wing hogging, box-phobic, over 30, ball-holding, 'not knowing when to release it' Frenchman!!!

Then, just as we are getting a bit of football/crowd stimulating momentum going, he brings on a bloke who has got the back up of the whole stadium in that morning's papers, AT LEFT WING, no less... and totally deflates 30,000 odd into a confusing crescendo of booing, cheering, what should we do? I know, go quiet and let the opposition off the hook!!!!

Moyes is an idiot.
Mike Oates
7   Posted 12/12/2010 at 20:26:06

Report abuse

Beckford isn't going to start a game for ages. Moyes stated the last 20 mins yesterday were poor with 2 poor substitutions. The lad whilst still being the only attacker showing any signs of movement and commitment, just cannot link up play, hold up the ball and lay off intelligently. He just sees a "blue" mist and wants to shoot from ludicrous positions.
Martin Hughes
8   Posted 12/12/2010 at 20:36:20

Report abuse

I have mixed feelings about Moyesey, on the one hand he has done well for us in previous seasons... I agree now that he missed the boat this season; he should have dropped Saha a long time ago ? the Yak must have really pissed him off so that now he does not even start a game... where's Bily?

If Pienaar & Big Vic want to go ? then don't play them ? Simples.

I think Moyes is scared stiff of 4-4-2 or even 3-5-2; either way, at home we need two attackers upfront ? Yak and Beckford (Yak being the link man); drop Tim back to midfield and use him as a third sriker coming in from the back. We need a Big Dunc type player who can cause havoc in the penalty area during the last 20 mins... COYB

ps: Has Moyes done his time?

John McLoughlin
9   Posted 12/12/2010 at 21:54:45

Report abuse

The only decent run we've had this season came when The Yak was up front on his own.

Beckford can't control the ball so until he learns I'd start the Yak. I don't expect Billy Liar to provide any funds to sign a striker who can score and Moyes has never shown any ability to wheel and deal. If it was up to me I'd be looking to offload Bily & Heitinga ASAP and if we did get offered Kranjcar and £1M ? as one paper suggested today ? I'd accept.

David Chait
10   Posted 13/12/2010 at 06:57:55

Report abuse

Ya John, you have pointed to something that has bugged me when the team sheet came out weeks ago already... the dropping of Yak for Saha.

Our fortune had turned with Yak upfront, he even had just scored a cracker.. the press and fans had noticed he was creating havoc for defenders, remember what he did to the Shite. And for his efforts, he gets subbed... I would be putting in my transfer request first thing and fucking off in January if I were him....

I love the Yak, hate the way he is managed.

Alan Clarke
11   Posted 13/12/2010 at 09:27:12

Report abuse

"My decisions as a manager were poor today and I have to look at that."

Fuck off.
Laurie Hartley
12   Posted 13/12/2010 at 09:21:14

Report abuse

David Chait - The Yak not only scored but made that cracking goal and in the derby according to the Guardian - "up at the other end Sotirios Kyrgiakos and Martin Skrtel were being led a harrowing dance by Yakubu Ayegbeni, who scattered them time and again like an armoured car sent into battle against spear-throwers."

Something definitely going on here. Methinks DM has got his nose out of joint. Don't cut your nose off to spite your face.

I have been hoping for good things from Anichebe but when I read that he had turned down a deal he lost me. I am absolutely amazed that DM brought him on with Bilyaletdinov, Osman, Yakubu and Beckford on the bench ? absolutely incredible decision.
Sam Hoare
13   Posted 13/12/2010 at 13:24:57

Report abuse

Why the Yak doesn't start, I don't understand. Saha must be doing something quite incredible in training every week in order to retain Moyes's faith.

I keep thinking things will get better. We seem to create good scoring opportunities every match but I don't understand why they are not going in... Low confidence? Bad luck? Bad finishing?

Is anyone seriously worried about the threat of relegation? I don't think I quite am. Yet.
Jimmy Hacking
14   Posted 13/12/2010 at 14:01:28

Report abuse

Has anyone watched The Manchurian Candidate? I am honestly starting to suspect that Moyes has been reprogrammed by a shady conglomerate of Dalglish, Souness, Thompson and Rush, funded by Wealthy American Ex-pat Kopshites.
Norman Merrill
15   Posted 13/12/2010 at 15:33:40

Report abuse

The one thing that annoys me is that there is NO real pressure on Moyes. The chairman is 200 miles away, and more interested in his showbusiness.

Gone has the day when the likes of John Moores would be at the training ground, asking questions?
Michael Kidd
16   Posted 13/12/2010 at 17:04:22

Report abuse

Agreed, Dave! Good to hear from you again, are you still in Joburg?
Dave Richman
17   Posted 13/12/2010 at 20:38:15

Report abuse

Hey Mike...... It's been a while huh?

Sorry lads for using this as a catch up service:

Mike, drop me a line at


Add Your Comments

In order to post a comment to Fan Articles, you need to be logged in as a registered user of the site.

Log in now

Or Sign up as a ToffeeWeb Member — it's free, takes just a few minutes and will allow you to post your comments on articles and MailBag submissions across the site.

© ToffeeWeb

Latest News

Subscribe to The Athletic, Get 40% off

Online Football Betting with Betway

Bet on Everton and get a deposit bonus with bet365 at

Recent Articles

Talking Points & General Forum

Pinned Links


We use cookies to enhance your experience on ToffeeWeb and to enable certain features. By using the website you are consenting to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.