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Yuletide snoozefest from Miserable Moyes

Rested after the postponement of their Boxing Day fixture against Birmingham City due to miles and miles of frozen pipes at the aging Goodison Park stadium, Everton travel down to what was once known as Upton Park where West Ham had finally lifted themselves off the bottom of the Premier League table with a handsome win at Fulham just two days ago.

In the event, both Jagielka and Heitinga failed to recover from their injuries so Tont Hibbert was recalled to the back four, while Mikel Arteta, despite his attrocious form so far this season, waltzed straight back into the side after not being missed at all during his three-match suspension following his red card for retaliating against Jara of West Brom.

Coleman retained his place on the right, with Steven Pienaar coming back in on the left, and Moyes, finally despairing of his useless posse of so-called strikers, pushed Tim Cahill to the front of the line, looking to benefit from a few more goals no doubt before Everton lose their Aussie talisman for an entire month to the ridiculously timed Asian Cup in Qatar. Leon Osman succuumbed to illness and did not make the teamsheet.

The bench included three of those ineffective stikers: Beckford, Yakubu and Saha, with token positions for Duffy and Baxter. No sign of Magaye "Secret Waeapon" Gueye or James Vaughan, who returned injured last week from a moderatley successful loan spell in the Championship with Crystal Palace.

It was kick & rush early on, with Hibbert being tested and coming off superbly with a classic sliding tackle executed perfectly on Piquionne running wide. West Ham pressed Everton back and when Fellaini did advance, Pienaar had foolishly run offside. Fellaini was commanding in starting moves from the back, and good passing won their first corner on 5 mins that Arteta looped into the middle. Coleman finally got it forward to Distin(!) who shot from an acute angle instead of cutting the ball back.

Everton looked to control the game after 5 mins with some high-quality possession and patient build-up play but an opportunistic jab by Parker to rob Neville nearly let West Ham get behind the Everton defence, Hibbert once again intercepting crucially.

It was pretty even until West Ham's first corner that Hibbert gave away with a lose kick. Howard saved a close range header but Hibert wailed at the follow-up his raised leg scooping the ball inside the post for a horrible own-goal. The crucial first goal goes the wrong way for the Blues.

Cahill set Coleman off with a fantastic backheel but Upson caught him and gave away the corner that Arteta looped high and deep to Distin. Another Arteta corner fell to Distin, who wellied it high over the bar, possibly clipping off the defender's challenge. West Ham again responded at pace, and Obinna cut in, smashing a stinger that smacked back off the stanchion.

Howard was very lucky in a bizarre incident by the corner flag, the linesman giving him a free-kick after he had obstructed Obinna as the slowly rolling ball bumped into the flag and stopped instead of going behind for a goalkick! Everton's composure was tested as West Ham came at them with their tails up after the goal. Fortunately, they wasted a few opportunities to go further ahead.

A great move involving Pienaar, Baines and Arteta down the left looked promising and won a corner that Baines delivered in Arteta-style from the left, with equal lack of effect. Neville than got free to run forward and cross... far too close to Green. Baines put in a brilliant low cross from the left that Pienaar stepped over at the near post, rather than clipping goalward.

A good free-kick form Baines found Fellaini but his free header on the edge of the box was directed nowhere and came to nothing. More good play from Coleman, Fellaini, Pienaar and Baines around the area led to another wasted cross... might be nice of there was a big centre-forward, Beckford perhaps, in the middle to profit... Cahill on his own was always surrounded, consequently winning little in the air for Everton; consequently he started playing wider and deeper to get himself some space and time on the ball.

Coleman was hemmed in by two but won a throw that was uselessly blocked into the defender by Arteta. Fellaini then stamped in on Obinna, who screamed in anguish and earned the Big Fella a lecture but amazingly not a card. Cahill tried soem strong-arm stuff and was called for it. The Blues at least were trying to play football when they did get possession, but were failing to get any purchase on even a half-chance as the flow of the game continually went away from them.

Another patient move, with crossing runs form Pienaar, then Arteta, out wide left to Cahill, whose excellent cross was sidefooted superbly beneath Green by Coleman, ghosting in completly unmarked on the far post. A superbly constructed goal to put the boys back on track.

In response, Upson got too much of a free header in the heart of the Everton defence but thankfully headed it well wide. At the other end, Rodwell should have done far, far better after getting put in behind the West Ham defence but his cross instead of shot was poor in the extreme. At the other end, Parker ran at Hibbert and chipped onto the roof of the net. Coleman looked to score a second but was given too much time and looped it high and wide as the Blues went in level at the break.

Everton needed to push on, by bringing one of their strikers on at the break... but No, said Moyes: as you were...

It was rubbish stop-start stuff for a while after the break, until Pienaar turned neatly and tried to curl a sweet shot inside the far angle. A Parker free-kick forced a Howard punch; Baines crossed harmlessly into Green's hands; COleman drew a good free-kick running at Spector; Arteta's free-kick finally came to Pienaar but his shot was week; Rodwell tried a shot from outside the D that was weak and wayward.

55 mins and Cole came on for West Ham, while Moyes pondered and plotted... or dithered and dallied. The game was now SCREAMING for a change, needless backpasses, hopeless hoofballs, and a horrible cross from Cahill underlining the non-football that was now being played. Coleman was the only one showing any real adventure, putting in a great tussle with Spector.

On the hour and the move finally came: Yakubu on for the hugely disappointing Rodwell, who seems to be going backwards rather than developing with every game he plays. Yakubu won a free-kick in his own inimitable fashion but Arteta inexplicably looped it out wide right where it was ultimately wasted. Kovac went in the book for halting a lively sprint by Pienaar.

So Moyes had acted... but the dismally flat game pattern remained very much the same as Everton seemed destined for their 10th "creditable" draw of the season. Pienaar made a good run that looked to release the Yak but somehow, it became a West Ham break and Cole drove his shot across Howard and thankfully wide... and the game reverted to its previous level of uncompromising drivel.

Why oh Why oh Why doesn't Moyes act in these situations??? Everton should have been slaughtering this bottom-of-the-table team...

Coleman finally got past Spector but his cross was weak and cut out by Upson. Everton attacked down the right again and with 10 mins left, Cahill finally putting in a shot ? straight at Green. Baines then ran well at the defence and fed the ball to Yak but he was robbed. Fellaini then heads the corner powerfully, stratight at Green. Either side, and it would have been a goal...

At least Everton were trying now, and Cahill got the ball in the net but he had been clearly offside in a move were Yakubu looked to hook the ball home. Obinna came off, replaced by Zavon Hines with 5 mins left: Moyes still with two from six unused subs.

A laboured attack down the right ended patetically when Neville drove the ball at a defender. Another attack and Arteta played Pienaar into a cu-de-sac. 90 mins and incredibly, Moyes NOW decides to replace Pienaar with Beckford. Utterly astounding managment incompetence, but incredibly 5 added minutes to be played.

Howard came out and clashed with Hines outside the area but Everton escaped what could have been a dangerous free-kick. End-to-end in the closing minutes as each side briefly looked for a winner, and Moyes finally switched out Arteta for Bily with barely 2 mins remaining.

A final free-kick by West Ham summed up this dreadful half, Parker scooping it poorly over the backline and Webb finally puts everyone out of their misery. It's games like this that totally epitomise Moyes's mind-numbing negativity, and yes, cowardice, in not really piling in to a very vulnerable opposition team.

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