I don?t get to many matches nowadays, living in the footballing wilderness that is Oxfordshire, but I?m going to the West Ham game this weekend with my three young sons, who I have brought up to strong, if remote, Evertonians. Incidentally, the amount of Liverpool fans round here (adult and child) is both alarming and sickening.
A good blue friend of mine called Mike once wrote a book (unpublished) called Old Trafford Sainsburys ? he hates Man Utd more than Liverpool and always has. I?m talking 20 years back, where he forecast the trajectory of football towards an industry akin to that of supermarkets. You decide whether he had a point. More amusingly though, he told a story in that book about a Jim?ll Fix It episode where some deluded juvenile tit asked the white-haired madman if he could score a goal at Old Trafford (empty stadium of course). Bobby Charlton was (and indeed still is) the Man Utd PR vehicle so he was the celebrity guide for the youngster to fulfil his dream. Problem was that he turned it into a Man Utd advert, which would have been part of the deal of course.
This was back in the day when Man Utd were crap incidentally, always the media darlings and tipped for big things soon, but consistently failing. The specific moment that so irritated Mike was when Charlton stood, as part of the slot, and gazed wonderingly during a 360 pan of the stadium whilst stating ?It?s the theatre of dreams, the greatest stadium in the world?. How many fucking young people did that influence?
Mike?s argument was that this should, in a similar vein to party political broadcasts, have carried a message along the foot of the screen saying ?This is the view of an ex-Man Utd player and someone who is on the payroll of Man Utd. Young people in particular are cautioned to view other stadia and football teams, particularly in the proximity of where they live, before deciding if they should accept this statement?. Parents would have probably had to explain the meaning of all that admittedly.
Anyway, all of that is irrelevant really to the point of me doing this. The reason I?ve decided to put something out there is mainly to try to distract us all from the incessant arguments about the team, the manager, the chairman, the finances and the bleeding results ? which are the only things that actually matter of course. I hope to do this by highlighting that still controversial and potentially result-changing issue of diving (I refuse to use the ?s? word) and to relate that in a potentially unreasonable way to the two recent subtractions from our squad.
My 12-year-old boy got the DVD of the Rapid Vienna game as a Christmas prezzy from his grandad and I watched the entire game for the first time since the event itself a couple of nights ago. Bloody hell! I hadn?t realised how footy was so different then, still of course based on the same principles, but a very different game to watch. I should explain that I have never really watched any of the 80s matches in full, except when I was there myself as a youngster.
What struck me more than anything (except perhaps the backpasses) was the referee?s decision making. I counted about 30 incidents in the game that would nowadays have been without doubt a free kick. Contact was allowed! Nowadays, every piece of contact (or potential contact) seems to require a decision from the referee. Decisions that he will inevitably often get wrong as many players continuously try to con him. I didn?t see one instance of that in the Rapid Vienna game.
Anyway, the problem for me is that there have been too many incidences in recent years of Everton players getting in on this conning the referee act. And the Yak and Pienaar were undoubtedly two of the main culprits. The Yak has embarrassed me on so many occasions as he wasn?t just a diver, he was a rubbish diver. He almost never got the decisions when he went down, the referees would just ignore him. Really they should have been either saying to him ?That was crap, don?t do it again? or booking him. This leads to honest players also not getting decisions when they are genuinely fouled. I can?t remember the exact incident, but there was one with Bainesy not so long ago that had me screaming.
There?s no such thing as being ?entitled to go down?. It?s cheating and I hate it. It makes me cringe and turn away when I see one of our players doing it. For me it takes the edge off a goal if it comes from a free-kick or pen that a player dived to get. The idiot pundits on MotD excuse it week after week. I see players in my 12-year-old?s team starting to do it and it makes me sick. Play an honest game and hold your heads high, it doesn?t have to be this way. What happened to yellow cards for diving anyway? If a player goes down and raises his hands claiming foul and the ref doesn?t give it, then he?s essentially accusing the player of diving. Book him then!
Here?s my assessment of our current squad?s dive factor:
Howard ? diver, well he is a goalie. Hibbo ? not a diver Jags ? not a diver Distin ? not a diver Neville ? not a diver Bainsey ? not a diver Heitinga ? probably not a diver but ? Arteta ? diver (sorry, I love the man but he goes down too easily) Rodwell ? not a diver (please don?t become one) Bily ? gets the benefit of my doubt Ossie ? not a diver Coleman ? not a diver Fellaini ? just about not a diver
Now the tricky bit:
Saha ? more diver than not Beckford ? not a diver that I?ve noticed Vaughan ? I don?t think he?s a diver, haven?t seen enough of him lately to judge Anichebe ? diver, taught by Yak it would appear Gueye ? didn?t dive in the 10 minutes of play he?s had this season Of course it gets harder when you move up the pitch as players there get tackled more, but Bainsey is an example of an honest attacking player (yes I know he?s a defender but he attacks a lot) who is as honest as the day is long and would never go down unless forced to. Have you worked out that he?s my favourite player yet by the way?
Just to confirm:
Yak ? diver and very bad at it Pienaar ? dives every time someone looks at him, then fiddles with his socks whilst he has a little sit down. Oh and as an aside? Gerrard ? biggest fucking cheating diving bastard on earth.
No doubt there will be many that disagree with my assessments. I?m sort of running out of energy with this now and haven?t really made the points I intended but perhaps it?ll open a discussion. I do think referees should clamp down on it, as they should with dissent ? particularly with that fat sweaty bald Manc scouser I once loved.
Note: the following content is not moderated or vetted by the site owners at the time of submission. Comments are the responsibility of the poster. Disclaimer
I don't think I have ever seen Arteta win a penalty for us, certainly not by diving, the only recent dive I can remember was Hibbert's and I think that was him just fainting because he was in the opposition box.
if you want to see outright promotion of a football club by a supposed neutral body, you only have to look at the 5 minute "advert" for Liverpool and Dalglish before the Derby game, truly sickening.
Also. why are Liverpool always referred to as Liverpool Football Club, as if they invented the game, when Everton are Everton, Chelsea are just Chelsea, Arsenal just Arsenal, they are all football clubs.
Make the refs similar to those in rugby, give them mics so we can hear what they are saying and make them harsh. If the players backchat after a decision is made move the ball ten yards closer to the goal. If a player swears give him a yellow card, it would be a sharp learning curve but they would learn quick.
Bring in an honesty system for divers. When a player goes down the ref asks him if he dived. If the player says no and after the game the cameras show he did ban him for 3 games. Managers would soon be telling players not to dive.
Briefly a few of my own comments starting with Larry #4, the RS have the word football tacked onto its title as the only way to differentiate it from Liverpool dog pound, Liverpool sewage works etc.
Nick #5 and Denis #11, Foul & abusive language is still an offence. Referees cannot give a Yellow card for it.
He can only give a verbal warning or a mandatory Red card.
Marc #10, How did did BK get into this topic?
In order to post a comment, you need to be logged in as a registered user of the site.
» Log in now
Or Sign up as a ToffeeWeb Member — it's free, takes just a few minutes and will allow you to post your comments on articles and Talking Points submissions across the site.
About these ads
Bet on Everton and get a deposit bonus with bet365 at TheFreeBetGuide.com
View full table
We use cookies to enhance your experience on ToffeeWeb and to enable certain features. By using the website you are consenting to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.