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Post-Match Moyes-United.

By Tony Cheek :  23/04/2011 :  Comments (21) :
What David Moyes probably said after the game against United:

"Well, talk about "rabbits in headlights"! This was just plain embarrassing lads. Glad they didn't put the first team out! You all know what the game-plan was. Defend for 85 minutes then Timmy notches one late on! What went wrong?... and why does everyone hold the ball too long? Can none of you pass a ball with the first touch any more?"

"Tim, great game again. Kept us in it a couple of times, and no chance with the goal."

"Tony, 10 points for effort but thought you were on the wrong side of your man a couple of times, and buy some new boots, you can`t pass properly with square toes, lad."

"Jags and Syl, bleeding heroes today, you two! MotM for you Jags! Really felt sorry when that went in. Bit indecisive for the goal, Syl, but just wish others could pass a ball like you."

"Leighton, good job you don't play against Valencia every week, you'd never get a sniff of an England shirt son. Looked a bit lost to me, and slow. Might have to start calling you "late-un".

"Seamus, again, a long way from your best. I remember when you used to go past defenders, son, those were the days!"

"Phil, some wicked passing out there today! ... What do you mean "Thanks boss"? ? WICKED, as in complete crap, and don´t try to dribble players, son, you just make a prat of yourself."

"Ossie, good disappearing act son, well... at least you tried to play a bit."

"Bily, look, I know players that can´t control a ball, but you can´t control a frigging telephone catalogue son. You lost the bleeding ball every time you got it. You HAD to come off. I hope you are fit next week, Mikel!"

"Jack, looked bleeding nervous son! Do you know how many times you passed a ball forwards today? Well, I don´t need two hands to count on, that's for sure! What about taking a chance with a first-time pass for once! You bleeding frustrate me lad. Can do better! Might have to off-load you while your name is still hot!... Only joking!"

"Becks, you looked like a frightened schoolboy son. You`ve got one of the longest necks I`ve seen, but every time you jumped with Ferdinand, you wound it in, son! Yes, I know it was a penalty, but you don`t get penalties here, everyone knows that."

"Big Vic, well, at least you didn't look frightened, lad. Difficult game to step into."

"Tim, we did get going a bit when you came on, just because you can hold the ball for a while."

"Magaye, at least you went past players, not bad!"

"Next year I will ask the FA If we can just play 37 games, we can just give United the points. Let's face it, we are never going to get a point here. I'll never get a job here now ? that's for sure! Right, Wigan next week. Back to winning ways again."

Reader Comments

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Lee Courtliff
1   Posted 24/04/2011 at 08:44:01

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After watching MotD last night, I started thinking about our record at Old Trafford. Everybody on here knows we haven't won there since '92. But did you know that, on our last SEVEN league visits to Old Trafford, we have scored just TWO goals?!? McFadden back in '05 and Cahill in Dec '07.

That is fucking shameful. Regardless of the fact Man Utd have been Champions for most of that time.

I am not a Moyes hater by any means but come on, this is getting ridiculous. If our players are so inferior then we wouldn't be able to give them such trouble at Goodison (even when they beat us at GP, we usually make a fist of it). It must either be the manager's fault or the players just freeze. Either way, it's fucking embarrassing.
Alan Clarke
2   Posted 24/04/2011 at 09:03:22

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Can we have what the players should say back to Moyes?

"How come your tactics were so shit? If anyone should be accused of getting caught in the headlights, it's you Moyes."
Paul Gladwell
3   Posted 24/04/2011 at 09:12:43

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I am sick of him telling us all how much a wonderfull club Man Utd is, whether it's bleating about Neville's upbringing or SAF his idol, Davey, they won't touch you with a barge pole and no amount of arse-licking will change that.

He was at it again last week when asked about whether Rodwell was a done deal, telling people a glorious club like Man Utd don't do those sort of things and neither do Everton... Bullshit, Davey, it's common knowledge they are like a cancer in the scouting system ? and let's not mention the Rooney saga. We will never win at Utd whilst he is manager as he just goes there to sit back and ogle the fuckers.

Tony Cheek
4   Posted 24/04/2011 at 09:34:31

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What pisses me off, Lee, is that we are inferior in so many ways. Their speed, movement, creativity, vision, shooting and passing was all in a diifferent league yesterday.
Lee Courtliff
5   Posted 24/04/2011 at 13:26:09

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But Tony.... that is not the case at Goodison is it? Not for the past 2 seasons anyway.

My point is that, at their place, we just seem to hope for the best rather than actually try to win... otherwise, surely we would have scored more than two goals in over 630 minutes of football.

Is it Moyes or do the players just freeze?

Or is it just one of those things... like us always beating Fulham at home?
Jay Woods
6   Posted 24/04/2011 at 13:57:34

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When we can give Chelsea such a hard time game after game, it always angers me to see how we adopt this ultra cautious approach against United. And all this fawning admiration from Moyes, it makes me sick. They're the opposition, not our best mates!
Peter Fearon
7   Posted 24/04/2011 at 14:36:44

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We held out for so long, I thought Phil Neville was going to have to rescue them again.

You can sum up Moyes management in a single sentence. After 9 long years of team-building, club record breaking transfers and youth development, we take the field for the second half against the most successful team in the Premier League, relying for our main goal-scoring threat on Victor Anichebe, whose total production in 15 league and cup appearances this season is... zero.

Roberto Birquet
8   Posted 24/04/2011 at 15:49:01

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Peter
Helluva long "single" sentence, but still ends up as insufficient and nonsense.

Record-breaking transfers paid for by selling other players (how is that not significant?). Moyes's big mistake last summer was not selling in order to buy a striker, it was so obviously needed. Shoulda sold the Yak and wantaway Pienaar.

This close season, sell Yak, Yobo, Vaughan and Anichebe and buy a striker.

I really did not see where we'd get goals from yesterday, with Prem debutant season Beckford as our only "senior" striker???
Peter Fearon
9   Posted 24/04/2011 at 16:51:31

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Roberto: You are agreeing with me whether you realize it or not. After all this time, we have still not solved the striker issue. If you add up the money wasted on players who have not made an impact ?- like Bilyaletdinov, Yakubu, and Heitinga ? do you think there is not enough to buy a striker who can actually do what he gets paid thousands a week to do... score?

They don't all have to cost what Torres and Carroll cost. Hernandez was only £6M! Instead, we have Beckford and Anichebe, neither of whom are Premier League strikers. That's a decade of team building!

Sur Jo
10   Posted 24/04/2011 at 18:40:07

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Can't believe how piss-poor we were on the day. It was hugely embarrassing. Those guys are not man enough. Felt like they were just there on the pitch to collect their weekly paycheck. It does not matter what we do, there is no hope based on what I've seen. Except for Howard, Jagielka and Distin, we need to change the whole team!
Roberto Birquet
11   Posted 24/04/2011 at 19:25:54

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Peter,
Anyone can pick out players who have not made it. Wenger ? Jeffers, all his goalies; Chelsea, £30M on Shevchenko, god knows what on Wright-Phillips; Man U, the Shite, the lot have made mistakes. But ask anyone who has got the most out of the finance they've available, and my guess is people in football will say: Moyes, Moyes, Moyes.

With about £3M a year, we've gone from Rhino, Gemmill, Gazza, Linderoth and Ferguson... to Baines, Jagielka, Distin, Heitinga (I rate him), Fellaini, Arteta, Cahill, Rodwell, and ok, Saha.

We are light upfront because we threw so much of our little finance into Yakubu, who got an awful injury. Otherwise, he'd be 20 a season, and we'd be alongside Spurs.

We need to sell to buy again (as again not a pot to piss in), and include a £10M plus striker in there to give us a chance. Jeez, I'm not gonna be despondent because we lost to the soon-to-be-crowned Champions...
Roberto Birquet
12   Posted 24/04/2011 at 19:37:07

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Sur JO, get a grip. The spine is fine when fit.

Howard, Jags, Distin, Felli, Arteta, Cahill, just light upfront...

Back-up for the spine... Heitinga, Neville, Rodwell, and I rate Osman for that, too. Sell deadwood, and perhaps Bily and get a couple of strikers.
Col Noon
13   Posted 24/04/2011 at 20:48:56

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Everton were petrified from the off yesterday. Bily, Rodwell and Beckford were nothing short of embarrassing, and the tactics employed by David Moyes were rotten.

I am not angry, upset, shocked, suprised... in fact, I am not anything. The feeling of acceptance from yesterday's defeat from Everton Football Club as a whole speaks volumes. I know people will churn out the old "but most other teams that have played them away have lost."

I will be perfectly honest... I couldn't give a shit about any other teams. To go into ANY match, regardless of who your are playing, and not show any attacking intent is criminal. Defend Moyes all you want but yesterday was a complete and utter cop out as far as I could see. Clueless, naive, predictable drivel. Nothing more nothing less.

I fancy us to put a few past Wigan next week... that's our level. I get the feeling even with financial muscle we will fail to deliver and compete with the bigger teams. We are not winners, plain and simple, We accept defeat and love a good pat on the back from Fergie. Not good enough... not anywhere near good enough.

Peter Fearon
14   Posted 25/04/2011 at 04:14:48

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Roberto, just to add a seasoning of facts to your assessment of Yakubu: He has never once scored 20 league goals in a season for any English club and looks less likely to do so as the years pass by and he becomes fatter and lazier. His best season was 15 league goals in 29 appearances for Everton in 2007-08. If you count Europe and the cups, he scored 21 in 29 appearances that season. However, over his four seasons with the club, he has only managed 25 league goals.

Some 20-goals-a-season striker! He was over-rated, over-priced and over-paid, as was Beattie, as was Johnson. At least with Beckford and Anichebe we got what we paid for. Nothing!

Paul Gladwell
15   Posted 25/04/2011 at 08:07:05

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I notice Yakubu is also a target for the boo boys at Leicester, we will be lucky to get much for him the way it's going.
David Holroyd
16   Posted 25/04/2011 at 10:56:37

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We'll be lucky to get much money for Yakubu, Billy, Anichibe; we will have to sell Arteta or Fellaini plus Heitinga ? we have to get a striker and someone to play wide.
Roman Sidey
17   Posted 25/04/2011 at 15:04:36

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Peter that was a bit unfair on Roberto. He didn't say 20 league goals. He just said 20 goals, which he did do in his ONLY full season for Everton.

Roberto though, the worrying thing is the spine you named, which is a true representaion of our team, reads like this : 32, 29, 34. shit, 29, 32. To be playing good football and have a chance at maintaining that level, you need few 24-27 year olds in there, as in 2-3 years NONE of those players named will still be in our starting 11.

Moyes out.
Roberto Birquet
18   Posted 25/04/2011 at 22:29:31

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Roman
the worrying thing is the spine you named, which is a true representaion of our team, reads like this : 32, 29, 34. shit, 29, 32. To be playing good football and have a chance at maintaining that level, you need few 24-27 year olds in there, as in 2-3 years NONE of those players named will still be in our starting 11.
---
Some are getting on, but Howard is a 32-yr old keeper (so not old as keepers last an extra 5 years), and Felli is 23, and Cahill 30.

A lot of the recently bought players are very young. No idea if they're much good, although have been quite impressed with Gueye.

James Hollister
19   Posted 27/04/2011 at 08:25:40

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Did anyone notice the amount of times our players kept falling over?

Who ever the hell is in charge of the kit needs to sort these boots out, I couldn't believe just how many kept slipping and falling over, it was embarrassing at times watching the poor buggers do that. Next match, those boots had better have been replaced...
James Hollister
20   Posted 27/04/2011 at 08:27:57

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Peter Fearon ? lets add Fellaini to that list as well. Contributes nothing on average for 17/18 league games a season because he is always out injured for this amount of matches... and I can count on the one hand how many excellent performances he as made this season, with the rest of his performances as mediocre as the rest of the team.

Any manager who even contemplates putting that useless lump Anichebe anywhere near the first team should immediately be sacked for dereliction of duty!
James Hollister
21   Posted 27/04/2011 at 08:37:33

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Roberto Birquet - 32, 29, 34. shit, 29, 32

Sorry bud, but those players are getting on to their last years at this club.

Howard aside.

29, 34, 29, 32 and lets add Cahill at 30.

That is five first team players in or near their 30s. This represents quite a large core of the first team... it's not something you can shrug off and seem to say it doesn't matter.

The squad is aging, and we need fresh blood, we need younger replacements for those positions as soon as possible.

As players get older they get slower ? and, if any of these lads get any slower, they'd stop ? its something Moyes is probably aware of and needs to change.

The Premier League is shite ? simple as that, look how easy it's become for teams to ride up the league with a few back-to-back wins or draws... go back to the early-/mid-90s it was a completely different league. Shit managers where found out and their teams where relegated. Quite how we got out that mess back then is beyond most of us...

Anyways, we've probably got 2 or 3 more years left with these aging players at most, in the case of Distin he will probably last until he is in his late 30s... he had a cracking season this year, and was subbed for the first time this season with cramp; never missed one game, unlike some of them.

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