The Skeleton Crew

The Blues have hit some real depths during the last 25 years and that long-ago FA Cup win, but standing at the shithole on Sunday I realised once we went in against a bunch of kids and reserve players 0-0 at half time that we would lose. Every time we turn up against the Devil’s spawn, we plumb new depths, but Sunday must finally be the final straw for most if not all of the pathetic, gutless squad, which represents us.

We don’t just have dead wood at the club, they have been here for so long the dead wood has rotted away and become nothing but dead bones. As we now enter the January window it is that time again to look at the squad and hope we can at least ship out some of the rubbish, but this is in hope more than expectation.

Of the current first team squad, those who have half a chance at the club are, in my opinion, Dominic Calvert-Lewin, Richarlison, Moise Kean, Mason Holgate, Tom Davies, Yerry Mina, André Gomes and Jean-Philippe Gbamin. I would also add Anthony Gordon to this list, a player who really should now be given minutes on the pitch. One short Carabao Cup appearance for our supposed academy shining light is not good enough, especially when you consider the dross which are getting starts in front of him.

Kean needs to be given his chance with games under Ancelotti, while although overhyped because of a few goals in December, Calvert-Lewin has shown that he can be a good outlet for holding the ball up, but he really needs more goals after his mini December. Richarlison is our best forward although he now needs to be played full time on the wing with DCL and Kean as the central attackers. The Copa America last Summer and the ridiculous playing in friendlies all over the world for Brazil are taking their toll on Richarlison at present, he is looking tired and could do with a break for a week or two.

Tom Davies has put in a few good performances this season and adds work rate and energy in midfield and can still be a valuable asset for the blues. Gbamin has been unlucky with his injury and no judgement can be made on him until next season, although he did show a few good signs in his fleeting appearances this season. Gomes, when he is on form, is the heartbeat of the midfield and we have missed him since “He is not that sort of player” Sonny had his way.

Holgate has grown this season and has a good range of passing, still a bit lightweight and needs to be stronger but think he can have a future with us. Mina has quickly become our best defender and, may not be saying much, been to date our best player this season.

Besides the above I think we have a few “maybes” in the squad. Jordon Pickford is a good goalkeeper but who has too many inconsistent mistakes and brain freezes to be considered anywhere near a really good goalkeeper. He needs to start eliminating these traits in his game ASAP or a replacement may be needed.

Bernard is another player in the “maybe” bracket. Incredibly skilled he needs to add goals to his game and improve his final pass as well as staying fit. Finally Alex Iwobi has shown glimpses especially in his early appearances for the Blues, although he has also been awful in some games. But he is a player who never hides and will still wants the ball even when off form and it is to early to give up on him just yet

As for the rest they are nothing but dead wood who have hung around so long they are now just bones, dead skeletons and need removing from the Club as quickly as possible.

Defence

Apart from the aforementioned Holgate and Mina and maybe Pickford, the rest of our defence is not fit for purpose. Michael Keane, a £25 million mistake, runs like a snail and turns like an oil tanker. Seamus Coleman is clearly past his best and is not of first-team quality anymore. He can still get forward but as for defending, it was never his strongest suit, he has been regressing in this area for at least two years.

Djibril Sidibé, thank God, is only on loan. He can put in a good performance one game and then be absolute rubbish the next. Sidibé always has a mistake in him and has no positional sense and was useless in his last couple of seasons at Monaco. Leighton Baines is just too old and way past his sell-by date, yet typical Everton gets a one year contract for this season.

Lucas Digne is the most over-hyped player we have had in a long time. Anointed Player of the Season last term with Blues raving about him, when in reality he was not the Player of last Season, that was (missing you) Idrissa Gueye. Digne was culpable for all three goals in the harrowing night at Millwall in the FA Cup and has been terrible this season, with a brilliant skill of giving away cheap free kicks and hitting the first defender when he takes a corner kick.

Martin Stekelenburg is still at the club. One question: why? He was never good enough when he was playing as first-choice goalkeeper. As for Jonas Lössl, he seemed at best competent when at Huddersfield Town but at present can’t even get on the bench ahead of the Stek, which may tell its own story. With Joao Virginia’s loan spell ended at Reading and him heading back to skeleton farm, we might as well give him the second-choice goalkeeper spot ahead of the above mentioned two.

Midfield

The slugs of Schneiderlin and Sigurdsson need no introduction. It was like watching a snail race with those two in midfield in the disgraceful cup derby. Schneiderlin is a man who gets a contract, performs for his new club for a few months and then does not bother. As for Gylfi I am still fuming over the £45 million paid for this bang average player whose only redeeming factor was that he could (“could” being the operative word here) take a good free kick. He has not even done that since he joined the Toffees. As for Mr Leadership, the man of glass, Fabian Delph, where is the leadership from him on the odd time he is fit to play? I wrote in the summer that he was a gamble with his fitness and that gamble has failed but I forgot to mention that he is crap.

Attack

Yannick Bolasie £28 million (on loan at Sporting Lisbon)

Cenk Tosun £27 million

Theo Walcott £20 million

Oumar Niasse £13.5 million (now in his last 6 months of contract)

Sandro Ramirez £5.2 million (on loan at Valladolid)

It’s absolute staggering the amount of money the club has wasted on these dead skeletons. Yes, every one of us thought Sandro was worth the risk but that soon went pear-shaped. As for letting the gravy boat spend £47 million on two absolute pieces of garbage in Tosun and Walcott… just astounding. Although I still get a chuckle thinking of those Blues who, when he joined — and there were plenty of them — thought Walcott was a good signing.

Loans

But lets not stop with the above. Don’t forget the ones who have been around for just as long, are nowhere near good enough and are at present plying their trade out on loan, but who will be back at the skeleton farm in the summer, although a couple do have their contracts up in the summer, small mercy.

Kieran Dowell

Callum Connolly

Mo Besic

Mathew Pennington

Luke Garbutt

Nathan Broadhead

Jonjoe Kenny

Korede Adedoyin

Josh Bowler

Shani Tarashaj

I will make an exception here for Adedoyin who at 18 was sent out on loan to Hamilton Academical, a team which has a reputation for playing young players. Adedoyin has not got anywhere near the first team this season at Hamilton and if possible should be recalled. [He already has been — Ed.] As for the rest of this list, yet more members of the skeleton crew who have moved on from dead wood to bones but still take a wage from the club.

Jonjoe Kenny has been having a good season at Schalke in the Bundesliga, but I have seen him make mistakes in Schalke games this season, two against Bayern Munich and Paderborn leading to goals for the opposition. At least in his case we can sell in the summer.

This dead bone state of affairs actually trickles down into all areas of the Club. Under David Unsworth the Blues have won the Premier League 2 title twice in the last three seasons, plus the Premier League 2 Cup. But we are now in the fourth season since that first title win and where are the players to come through from that area? Davies, Holgate, DCL all came through in Koeman’s first season as manager. Anthony Gordon hopefully will be another but he has really emerged quickly over the last 18 months. In reality we still have a large number of players who have been part of the Under-23s set up for way too long.

Anthony Evans, Morgan Feeney, Matty Foulds, Nathangelo Markelo, Nathan Broadhead, Josh Bowler for example. The club seems incredibly slow to decide on young players, leaving them playing with the Under-23s or out on loan without having the guts to make a decision on their futures, thus blocking spaces for new younger talent, while holding these players back in their own footballing careers.

The ultimate folly here is the case of Harry Charsley. Charsley was a player Everton did make a decision on and released him last summer. But as no Club picked him up what did we do? We took him back as part of the Under 23s. Absolutely nonsensical.

When you consider the above, even though Marcel Brands has moved some players on during his time at the club, the task in hand is still monumental and shows the appalling way the Club has been run since Moshri’s millions turned up. Can we ship any of the above named dross out in January? Maybe one or two but in the next summer transfer window, Brands will need to pull his finger out. He will not only need to ship out all the above named players but also needs to get a grip of the sentimentally of Unsworth and the Under-23 and instil a ruthless decision making process on young players.

As well as all this we may bring in a couple of players in January but it will be the summer where we will have to recruit heavily again with, basically, half a new squad. With planning permission probably being granted some time around the Summer for Bramley-Moore, once that comes on stream the period of Moshri largesse in the transfer market will be a thing of the past. Next summer will be our last big chance in the transfer market. Brands and Ancelotti will need to get it right or we will be in one hell of a mess.

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