Colm's Corner
The Beauty of Winning Ugly!
Oh what a difference three points
makes. Had we departed Bolton’s lifeless Reebok Stadium empty-handed, I am
certain there’d be much keyboard bashing confirming our forthcoming
demise. Alan Green would’ve become multi-orgasmic! Shit, perish the
thought… As it was, we stole three points, thank you very much. Better teams
than us will go to Bolton and come away with nothing. Fact. It’s a quirk, so
often thrown up in the wacky unstable world of football – a win, no matter how
secured, lifting instantly the spirits of many, erasing all immediate fears for
the health and general well-being of the team. Ignoring for the moment the
slight distraction of a 24-hour piss-up in Spain this week (interrupted
by 90-odd minutes on a pitch in Castillon), we can now travel down to Fulham
next week with confidence renewed. A win there, follow it up with three more
points when Portsmouth visit, and you’ll be looking at “crisis-torn” Everton
sitting somewhere high in the League with nine points from a maximum
twelve! Crisis? What crisis?!
Ah yes, all easier said than done – but that’s footy these days. Up and
down, like a whore’s knickers, a rollercoaster of emotions guaranteed over the
next nine months — shite one weekend; world-beaters
the next. It’s hard to put on a wise hat and attempt to forecast what lies
ahead. It’s all so typically bloody Evertonian that the minute you say one
thing, the opposite will no doubt happen. Well, it is like that with most
things Blues related, although I’m not leading the clamour proclaiming Sandro
Pistone as a world class left back just yet!
Even my eldest kid has already
fallen foul of the great unwritten rule amongst Evertonians! He had one eye on
the screen in the corner of the Reebok: the clock ticking nervously towards the
90th minute and he pipes up, “Daddy I’m gonna see my first ever Everton win
away from home!” Christ almighty, I nearly had a cardiac of my own before he’d
even finished his sentence. Cue Kevin Kilbane, at that very second; with a
mistimed lunge on the edge of our box, to hand Bolton a potential lifeline! The
kid will learn, more through the many mistakes he’ll no doubt make as an
over-confident Evertonian.
Actually, speaking of which, if we do see three
wins from four games, be very wary of any comments from the Chairman! Remember
last season’s start? A late Tim Cahill winner at Portsmouth elevated us to
third in the League and had the Chairman telling the whole world on BBC 5Live
that we were quids in – the Fortress Sports Fund soon to arrive, swelling
Evertonian coffers beyond our wildest dreams. One year on and… ??? The
thing with being an Evertonian is that we’ll always nitpick, find something to
mull over. Lose and it’s Apocalypse Now. Draw and it’s a tale of what might
have been. Win? Well, of course, it’s the performance that’s under
scrutiny. Which is precisely the case after Sunday’s game at Bolton. I don’t
think I’ve witnessed an uglier game than Sunday’s in quite a while. It was
appalling fare, a sad reflection of the paucity in quality throughout the
Premiership today. I felt sorry for the ball. Bolton’s aerial and overly
physical bombardment weighed heavily on Moyes’s mind pre-game. A hard-fought 1-0
victory suggests Moyes was spot on to sacrifice any notion of flair or
expression of our newly acquired total football (ahem!) for a more abrasive
style.
Knowing Bolton’s strength lies with set pieces (Okocha
now more renowned for long throw-ins than his ball skills), Moyes chose to drop
both Leon Osman and Simon Davies to the bench. Opting for a front
triumvirate of Ferguson, Bent and Kilbane gave Everton some added height. How often throughout the game
did we see those players assisting the massed ranks in our penalty area? Not
pretty but effective. The downside of course being that, as continuous Everton
players lumped the poor unfortunate ball anywhere away from danger, there were no
Everton players in a position to receive! Park football tactics remain alive
and well in the Premiership, live and exclusive on Sky Sports 1! There was a
moment late in the game when our own James McFadden made an absolute pig’s ear
of things (again!). I thought to myself, “is he really a professional
footballer? Do we pay him a wage to ponce about there on the pitch like the
clueless one-footed player we all think he is?” Have we not all had a moment to
ourselves thinking what exactly does David Moyes see in McFadden that we
don’t? I’d wager we could find better in local Sunday League football! School
of Science football we most certainly ain’t but are we truly complaining just
now about our lack of style? Deep down I don’t really think so, it’s not yet a
major issue amongst Evertonians; most seem to be more than aware of the job
facing Moyes and Irvine – they can only do their best with the players at their
disposal (and haven’t we disposed of enough over recent times?!).
We had
glimpses in the two defeats against Villarreal and Manchester United that we’re
well equipped to play a prettier passing game. Ultimately, where did it get
us? What’s the saying – all frills no knickers? If playing a more robust style
of football shunts us right into the middle of the so-called big boys then so be
it, I’ll take it. The icing on the cake will be the many pissed-off hacks,
fearful of seeing Everton upsetting the status quo for a second successive
season. Now, there’s a thought! No one loves us, we don’t care? A bit like
dear old Alan Green…
Colm Kavanagh
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