Everton's End-of-Season Awards

Nightmare. Next thing you know, we'll be having a Staying Up party.

The page for ordering tickets for the event can.

Typical Everton.

I have voted for:

1) Morgan Schneiderlin
2) Marten Stekelenburg
3) Enigma Mangala

Shit, I can't even remember his first name!

A load of fans turning up and keeping their mouths shut on a horror show of a season, despite feelings to the contrary.

Players who have barely managed a passable standard sheepishly picking up an award?

Making small talk with a team and manager they've snarled at all year?

Will Allardyce have a bodyguard, would hope so.

Just a bad idea.

You have to login to vote..

And to think, some 'mugs' will pay 㿷.00 for a two hour 'club sponsored' whitewash by some meaningful lackeys who will no doubt be telling us that the future is bright. I guess the main benefactor once more will be the EitC charity who are in danger of becoming better known than the actual football club.

Well done, Denise, you are fast becoming more influential than Moshiri in the boardroom.

You couldn't make it up.

I wonder if Allardyce will have the tables organized defensively?

You'd think gravy must be on the menu?

Maybe sour grapes too?

Seeing as we are always being told the money from fans attending is small beer, maybe Moshiri can announce that all those who have renewed their season tickets for next season will have their money refunded? Now wouldnt that be a statement to the loyal fans who have paid their money despite 95% despising the current manager.

I dream of course so, instead of and awards night, rename it "Welcome to the pit of misery," dilly, dilly.

Chairman's Blueblood Award — bestowed to someone who “embodies the Evertonian spirit”

Seamus Cleman's return against Leicester. Still sprinting up that flank in the 90th minute.

'

Pickford has done well;

Davies has done well considering he is a boy still;

Calvert-Lewin has done well holding the fort

Kenny has done well when called upon;

Holgate has done well filling in;

Baningime has done okay in his small contribution;

Seamus has done well to come back very strong from a bad injury.

Maybe it's not bollocks, there is a theme... The young lads have done the club proud and Seamus is a fine example to them. Give them all a gong and give the proceeds to Alder Hey.

Maybe the omissions may say the most? Some of those I bet we could agree on.

If it was a vote of who should be fucked off, well, you could name everyone of them barring maybe 5 (at a push).

To even think of rewarding anybody is not on; cancel this fiasco...

It pains me greatly that it is not the talent that is the most obvious difference between us and the red shite. It is the apparent endeavour and pride in the shirt, that is what hurts the most.

How to be proud of a team that seems set up not to lose rather than trying to win.

Absolutely an evening to avoid.

Who knows what the next few weeks will bring, but genuinely it's celebrating abject mediocrity across the club in the board and on the park at all team levels, personified by the worst season in modern times.

Give the awards to Pickford and JJK, and thats about it, in my opinion and any proceeds to Alder Hey and the homeless charities.

Seeing some of the games last night shows that we are so many light years behind the rest of the pedigree Euro teams..

Onwards and upwards for next season, in my heart, but as it stands I don't see any changes on the horizon. I hope I'm wrong. Big descisions soon from the board, hopefully.

There's something about calling them 'The Dixies' that just sticks in my craw... Supposed to be honourific but sounds more horrific, no matter how many times you say it.

Oh, and you have to select 1, 2 and 3 before it will let you submit your vote.

Come on, folks. Let's win it for Schneides!!!

Can't even stage manage the whole thing.

Just to see Williams or No 2 get it and have to cringe with embarrassment would send a message. Pfft!

The awards should be scrapped and we should just give the players marks out of ten.

Pickford, I'd give him 8
Sigi, I'd give him 5
Rooney, I'd give him 6
Sneiderlin's missus, I'd give her 1.

Apart from that, the sun cream can't come quick enough and summer will be a football-free zone.

Very good. Wouldn't we all. Wouldn't we all.

Sam fucking Allardyce as manager.

Passionless performances bereft of skill, hard work, shame or indeed any obvious talent from overpaid mercenaries who should be a little embarrassed to even attend, but won't be.

Maybe Oumar for humility, Tom for trying hard, Seamus for being Seamus and Pickford for being the best 50 plus goals let in per season keeper of the year apart from Butland who will start?

Unsworth for manager of the year in an otherwise weakened field.

Schneiderlin for tool of the year, the coveted Golden Nyarko award.

Game of the season, being allowed to fawn at the feet of the awesome gods that are Citeh as they prove that Schneiderlin really is that shit and that they are completely unbeatable home or away, ever, as their dad has more money than ours.

Thanks for the memories lads.

My winner for the ‘moment that epitomises the whole fuckin season' award goes to the one when Williams pushed the Lyon keeper and that fella in the Gwladys Street stand tried to punch one of their players whilst holding his kid.

Runner up for the award goes to the FA for the Niasse ban for deceiving the ref.

Most overrated: Tie between Rooney and, well, Rooney.* Wait, I guess that isn't a tie then. Williams and Schneiderlin tied for third (second).

Best Player on Loan: Mirallas, Lookman, Browning – too close to call.

[* Barkley not eligible for awards because he is not on the squad at this time.]

I think Joel Robles Fraser Hornby or Mangala would be as effective; don't particularly want Schneiderlin to walk away with a trophy, as ridiculous as it would be.

A best player – even if it is just one that is less crap than the rest. Jordan for me.

A best goal – even though they are not what we were set up for. Allardyce believes Rooney's goal was purely down to him in the game against West Ham he says was his first in charge.

A best young player – ditto best player. I would pick Baningime, who has impressed every time I've seen him. Calvert-Lewin is vastly improved, but is not a finisher.

It would be unfair on those players who have tried this season – and there are some – to cancel the awards, and I think the vast majority of the angst on here is actually against Allardyce. In which case boycott them, write to the club, organise protests in the last 2 games, scream Sam out, hire a plane.

Sam dismisses those on here as the half dozen internet complainers who know nothing, but unless something more concrete is brought to Moshiri's attention, I can see the fraud being here next season.

SAM OUT!!! And take Walsh et al with you.

The likes of Pickford, Baines – not been his best but he represents the club better than anyone in that team... heck, even Coleman for coming through and showing some pride.

Personally, I'd vote for Pickford because the lad has probably saved us from relegation with some of the saves he's made. He has not been perfect but he's had a great debut season despite being hindered by the plethora of failure around him.

Keith (#60) – you're probably right: a lot of the angst is aimed at Allardyce but a lot of it is also aimed at Koeman and, to a lesser extent Unsworth, who's also culpable for some of the trash we've had to endure.

My particular ire is reserved for the majority shareholder. I honestly don't think that fella is a full shilling and his moronic statements at the AGM told me everything I need to know about the gormless bastard: Voodoo... Siggy's bullets... our own Fab 4 etc... please!

I think every post on here says it all what we think about this 'event'. If our players had anything about them, they'd boycott this charade. But no, they won't, will they... because it's a freebie.

All this while them across the park are conquering Europe. No wonder they piss down their legs at us – they've every right to. Wait til they get wind of this. Embarrassing.

Two phoneys together, both made a fortune out of our club, so let's get them together on the stage!

Victoria Street? I might nip in from Ned Kelly's for half an hour if it is.

2018 Awards as follows:

Club with most Number 10s = Everton
Club with the least amount of left-footed players = Everton
Club with the highest paid manager in world football = Everton 6th and 7th with Koeman and Big Sam
Least motivated player = Schneiderlin then Mirallas
Most motivated player = Niasse
Most step-overs without crossing = Bolase
Least ground covered = Schneiderlin
Most passes backwards = Schneiderlin
Least Passes forward = Schneiderlin
Confusingly gets a shirt every week = Schneiderlin
Getting away with it award = Walsh
Boo boys favorite = 1st Lazy Bastard Schneiderlin, closely followed by "Oh, fuck off, Martina!"
Player of the season = Pickford

Worst joke of the Year – Allardyce's appointment
Biggest Clown of the Year – Both Kenwright and Sam made the list
Best Comedic Performance – Moshri for his portrayal of a club owner

Feel free to add your own nomination, it takes about 10 seconds before you put your head in your hands.

The rest can walk out the door as far as I'm concerned.

They should go to the long suffering fans for enduring the dross served up game after game after game. I don't think I've really enjoyed a game all season. Even the 4-0 West Ham match was in the balance for a long period.

Just let the season end.

Luvvies.

1.The Crossbar,took a battering throughout the season but always held up well.
2.The Goalposts,rock solid at the back & got us out of trouble when trying to close out tight games.
3.The Sprinklers,were always switched on & ready for action,even when it pissed down.

So proud...