Premier League — Matchweek 34

And we don't even have 40 points!

But this is fantastic news and the only person we can thank is David Moyes, who has worked tremendously hard to create a gap of 17 points above the relegation zone, and who can finally now visit the fantastic new Everton Stadium at Bramley-Moore Dock.

What a fabulous new season to look forward to starting in August with our brave and adventurous young manager….

Oh, hang on a minute… I think I'm reading the wrong script.

Not bad him….

Wow! What a miss from Mateta!

Penalty to Palace!!! Nailed on, Michael. Shocking miss though.

I thought it was a save at first viewing.

Palace should be romping it!

Happy to see Arsenal's (ex) smart arse goalkeeper get his comeuppance.

Fuck off, the Villa.

Sorry, Danny.

Thanks, Jeff.

For fucking £12 million!

And now BBC have disappeared from their grid. I suppose I could watch it on iPlayer...

Oh wait! I've answered my own question.

(Cup winner with Chelsea..🤣)

Lesson? Let players develop in the Premier League.

Maybe old Roy knew his way around the English leagues.

And crash their Ferraris?

Oh no, that was the other bloke. Why's Mateta wearing that thing on his noggin?

On these gems that Palace unearth. They, generally, tend to be London centric and want to play and live in London until maybe a top four team come in for them. If not they're happy to be, and stay, in London.

Can't be more than the £26M we paid for Beto.

Cameras not dwelling on Willie the Boy King.

Where is he today, the splitter!

I watch our style of play and we're trying to play like Arsenal, Villa, Chelsea etc with keep-the-ball patience and build up. I'd love us to try to emulate the fast attacking play that Palace, Brentford, Bournemouth, Brighton etc are trying.

We gave Chelsea a game today but Palace, in this mood, would have frightened them to death.

It's why, despite my respect for what Moyes has done, I'd love us to bring in Iraola for our new beginning at the new stadium.

Palace would have beaten Chelsea playing like this.

Hence the word "generally" in the post.

Refreshing.

Palace had a game plan which included targeting Tielamans and closing him down quickly when he got the ball facing his own goal – it reaped them the last 2 goals.

And that big lad Onana? Conspicuous by his absence. Sat on the bench. Is he out of favour or what??

Paul, it was probably more important that the heir to the throne represented the UK than being at Wembley.

I'm not taking anything away from Palace, but Villa reminded me of Everton at Wembley against them years ago. They choked on the big occasion.

I'll choose between the ones I have from Bethlehem and the Vatican. The latter apparently blessed by my favourite Pope, John Paul II.

A very good friend of my mother named her son John Paul.

So much better than the Premier League.

It would seem a third test event is now months away, unless it's a July concert or something (with a covered pitch) but even that's too late to attract 52,000, unless its McCartney and the rumours are slightly askew.

Anyone know anything about the third event?

or why they've dug the pitch up, must be grass/root knitting or something like that.

Getting knocked out of cups has simply rubber stamped the league, and given us a great deal of pleasure.

When they slightly wobbled, Arsenal couldn't capitalise.

But you watch them more than me.

I'm dreading the inevitable tomorrow. I genuinely feel for those in the city, but spare a thought. I'm going to be surrounded by uneducated London reds.

I've had worse episodes in my life, but I am really not looking forward to tomorrow.

Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't we beat them twice this season?

They were brilliant today but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves.

Why then did it leave me totally depressed? Answers please on the back of a £20 note.

This idea of running fast at the opponent's goal. Who invented that!

So, small mercies eh!

You mean me, saying I'd love us to play attacking football like palace?

Is that “all this praise”? Just my opinion?

I'd like us to play attacking football like Bournemouth as well, as I said. They've beat us 3 times. Is that okay then?

Jeez! I just admire attacking football and wish we played like that, for fuck's sake! Why does that irritate you so much?

But you're right, we might be bigger historically, but we're nowhere near them at the moment for playing decent attacking football.

We're not close to Brighton, Brentford or even Wolves for that matter at the moment, neither are Man Utd btw.

A couple of tweaks and signings and a decent plan could change all that soon, but we would also need a manager who is willing to take a risk or two.

Thanks, Mr Moyes, but this time next year, when you get us up to mid-table, it might be time to build on that with someone else for the following season.

That makes me laugh. 😆

Not seen one of yours on here come true.

Forest v Man City in the semi-final. Being at the end of the M40 where it meets the M25, and on a direct line to Wembley Park, the West Midlands and North West clubs use Uxbridge as a staging post.

So firstly, I've got to sit there enviously thinking to myself, next year it will be us.

Then we have to face the inevitable. I don't know what is worse. Being in my home city or surrounded by uneducated London reds.

I'll just be glad when this season is done and dusted.

They are everywhere, Danny, here in Jersey you can't move for them. If anything, I dislike the plastics more than I do the authentic shite reds.

That's the spirit re next year it will be us, I'll always remember my first away game Stoke City away in January 1984, FA Cup, the catalyst for future greatness, but who would have thought at the time?

We don't have the tools yet, I know, but I hope we recruit the right players, young fast aggressive and skilful, and, if it comes to it, an attack-minded manager to utilise them.

Our football, and the possession-based kitano of the “big” clubs is boring and past it. In my opinion.

Right now to get set for the big Sky Lucifer cream fest. I hope spit the dog is wearing nappies to contain his bowel movements and has something to contain that irritating high pitched voice that could break glass.

Worst of all will be Peter Drury, who will no doubt be the commentator and the multiple orgasms he will be having as he screams out the name of Salad time and time again. So it will be the cup semi-final between Man City and Forest for me.

An Everton fans has had loads of them off and them paying for flares wrapped in red paper but blue flares coming out. Not sure if you've seen anything about it but Sonny my grandson has just taken a walk around there and took a video of one them setting his flare off and then the blue smoke. He then throws it away mouthing “Fuckin' blue smoke” but had the grace to laugh about it.

My grandson reckons he's made thousands of these flares, good luck to him, and you can see a lot of blue smoke mingling with the red all over the place.

They still get decisions in their favour despite falling down the league.

I've sent your Tony a WhatsApp message with a picture showing these blue flares. Get him to send it to you.

I’ll get a look at it later when he comes by, for his usual cup of tea and a sarnie, he is working today making loads out of those Reds using his Joe Baxi, as you put it the other day!

Piss-poor coverage.

I don't think he was offside, but I'm still steaming about the red for Evanilson. It was a slip and not a serious contact, and that was the undeserved gift.

I want nothing more than to finish above those scumbags just once.

The bias is shocking. How he got away with stating the African Cup of Nations should be cancelled because of "St Salah" leaving Liverpool to play in it, I don't know.

Avoiding Sky still won't remove the BBC masterbating over them, week-in & week-out though (I know).

If Forest don't now make it – will that be down to a Nuno Santos glass ceiling?

"When did you last win a trophy?" I was asked.

I responded with "When did you last go to the city?"

"Never been." Didn't need to ask if they'd been to Anfield, so left it there after getting called bitter and questioned why I support Everton.

Words escape me.

Not long after an absolute sitter by Elanga who blasted wide with only Ortega to beat.

Not over. They've blown leads this season.

You made yourself an easy target, a sitting duck. You could have watched at home, I ain't got mucch sympathy tbh

Interesting that Murillo gets rave reviews all season, but he's the guy who just left Gvardiol unmarked. He's also the guy who lost the ball to McNeil for Doucoure's game-winner.

My Kopite nephew has been giving me some stick lately but he sent me videos yesterday from his seat in the Palace end at Wembley (he lives near Selhurst) so if he floats I'll ask just suggest he should stick to watching his real team, Palace.

I've seen a pic of the blue flares in the middle of their team welcome. It's amazing how much they've been triggered by that. Soft cunts.

I'm used to it down here.

You're in an alehouse, watching the redshite… And not even drinking?

Why??

They've had every chance to get back in this.

There was a Willy, and a Cut Throat Jake, but those others are urban myths.

I came out to fetch dog food, Mark. Now surrounded.

Staggering Stalactites!

MotM might be the goal frame.

De-Silva's eyebrows easily MotM.

But I wouldn't cross the street to watch the shite. I have a healthy hatred for the cunts. If they were playing a joint Waffen SS, Israeli Army, Hamas 11 (oops, don't go there…), I'd cheer for the latter.

Justice for the 39!

Did you bring it back home with you?

I think they're celebrating that Gog and Magog has risen together with 666 to declare Satan is the king of the universe.

Can't think of anything else that's happening…

I don't feel sick coz I ain't watched a second of it except for the videos doing the rounds of blue flares in their shite end in their shite high tin hut.

It's been on the cards since around Christmas that Satan's lot would win the league, so don't let it worry you.

Fuck me, Spurs are shite!

It just sort of merged into everything else and at some point was grudgingly accepted like hearing that Joe Strummer was no longer with us.

How the fuck is that whacky nutty Aussie gobshite still in the job? Long may it continue. Give him an extension, Daniel!

I'll be home next weekend. Hopefully it will have died down by then.

On the plus side, I've just been upgraded to gold membership on Avanti West Coast trains.

Maybe Spurs will go after Moyes now

I wonder what commemoration the Red Echo has planned.

Now that is something that makes me want to throw up….. Blues picking any of that shite in their FFL Team!

I prefer Ribera del Duero from Spain but you can't get a decent one here as no-one has heard of it so they can't sell it. It makes me laugh when my friends say “Oooo a Rioja – lovely, how posh”
Truth is you get shit Rioja and good Riojas. It's the same with Chianti, Californian etc. If you pay cheap, you get battery acid and Gaviscon cost more.

My wife “prefers that £6.50 Rioja from Sainsbury's” She doesn't, she gets heartburn every time she drinks it, but she's budget conscious and won't admit it.

This one I'm drinking now is velvet smooth and whilst she told me she wasn't going to have any, she's matching me glass for glass. The cow! What's your tipple? Any recommendations?

Looks like I'll be fine in the no red shite cup but how was I made to play the two lads in first and third in the opening rounds – fecking rigged?

The grapes are grown in the Chianti region off Tuscany, but it's very geographically specific and not Chianti, which is over produced.

To be honest, it's largely become west coast thick reds and top dry whites. Got a real love for Chablis and a Loire Muscadet though.

Did a tour last summer so 13 bottles still left. Nothing over £12 and all taste like velvet. Such a long way to go back for more.

2nd red shite on 606 has a black country accent

First argument / conversation here in London.

"Why do you support Liverpool "?

Standard response. "They were the best when I was growing up".

Never been to the city let alone Anfield.

I shouldn't let them get to me but it's inherent. You're talking to someone who at 5 years old, cried because my dad made me wear jeans with one of those 70s knee patches. It said "Scouser". I asked him what that meant and he told me it's because you're from Liverpool. Devastated. After being forced to wear them I walked out the flat and tore it off.

I got proper disciplined for that one.

I like the black touch (Black Watch). I'd like us to have amber as the change strip.

We watch that lot win more silverware again while we champion finishing fucking 14th if we are lucky.

Sick of waiting for this "it takes 3 years"..

We've been waiting 3 years for that last few decades.

Get it sorted, let's see The Friedkin Group pull their finger out and set some standards.

Even the Saudi's when they took over Newcastle promised Champions League football and trophies, so far within 3 years – they've delivered on both counts.

Seems it had some truth LOL

Be bold and go for it; otherwise, you are constantly chasing your tail and getting nowhere.

Again over priced over here.

Last time we won the league, I was 17. Last Time we won the FA Cup, I was 25.

Seriously, how much time and patience are we expected to have? I am a little concerned I'll be dead before we win anything else!

I was once invited to a my local agents (a Madridista) house in Alicante with 5 of his mates to watch a Real Madrid Champions League game. He had a bodega in his basement with Vega Sicilia of a good vintage. We were watching a Madrid game and had to bring a bottle. At full time he opened a bottle of the Vega Sicilia, valued at over €100, and it was shite!

My contribution - a Muga Reserva – was voted the best. It's not always about the region nor the reputation.

Mark, when I lived in Italy, I was always advised by the locals to judge a wine on what you like. Not price. Some of the best used to cost me the equivalent of £1 straight from the barrel at the local farm.

Paul, if you like a dry white, try Sicilian. The best Italian whites.

We had David Moyes for 11½ years and, although he did a decent job, can anyone remind me of the times when we turned up in the big games without real fear?

Maybe he is what we need right now but, if we want to start drinking the finest champagne instead of talking about those cheap fucking Chiantis, then it's time for Everton to start being bold again!

What are we waiting for? No, it's not because of that, it's just what you do, isn't it? I've got all the patience in the world, just as long as I see my team having a real proper go while playing without fear; otherwise, what is the real point in our existence?

We have new owners, they seem professional and savvy…but our fortunes are not going to miraculously change without massive investment in the squad.

This is the first season in five that we're not contesting a relegation scrap in the last, or close to last, week of the season.

I was the one who posted Rome wasn't built in a day, but I wasn't referencing the past god knows how many years — I was referencing now. We've only just found ourselves in a financially viable situation. So the "clock" starts now, not from when we last won a trophy. If you can't see that you're being a bit naive.

I wish things were different, but they're not! Progress will undoubtedly be made but I really don't expect us to be "challenging" next season.
Those that do, I admire your optimism and I hope you're right and I'm hopelessly wrong. Time will tell.

Sorry Danny, I've never had an Italian white I like but I do like a Spanish Verdejo and Albariño as well as a Croatian Malvasia.
Lately we're into New Zealand whites - especially Sauvignon Blancs.

But I'm a rich red oaky man and the Riberas or good Riojas are my tipple.

You also know you are talking to the converted. Not that I needed converting. It's always been my expectation of Everton.

Probably a bad day as I've been surrounded by fake red supporters.

Live up to our motto. Be Everton and what we expect. Don't insult us by playing it down and telling us it will take years. It's already been decades.

We are safe, Moyes has done the job I hoped he would. It would appear that it's bought him the first season at the new Everton Stadium, something I suppose I was hoping would not be the case.

Moyes is probably thrilled to be doing so as it gives him the chance to build a team that he feels will challenge the top half of the table with a return to 6th, 7th or 8th place. Pragmatic as ever, setting his sights on doing better.

Sadly for him, whilst achieving that aim may be a relative success, it consigns the immediate future to being "best of the rest" – not the blueprint for success we crave for.

The very nature of Moyes begins with our acceptance of his definition of success. Note, I did not say "winning a trophy" — something I feel we are light-years away from, something I believe will not happen for a long time under Moyes.

Our current situation is not Moyes's fault, yet in a way it reminds us of that Two Ronnie's and John Cleese sketch, "I know my place".

An owner's short-term solution, a fan's frustration, he certainly deserves his plaudits and criticism but I am hungry for respect, hungry for serious challenges of the so-called elite.

My pride has been dragged through the gutter, shamed and ridiculed by media, people in the street, or even members of my own family. On this day, when that other lot lift a title, I want to believe and aspire to such for myself. Hence why I believed Moyes was/is a stepping stone to success but a short term one.

I called for his return; I am thankful for the security we have but mindful we are still unsure of the expectation of new owners and definition of success and its time frame.

Such detail frames our own expectations as fans but, with a major rebuild an immediate enforced requirement, we are without a DoF, we assume therefore, without a cohesive club strategy or vision. Just Moyes. And that fills me with trepidation.

When the TFG purchase came about, one of the things I read of them was a singular lack of communication and to date that certainly seems to be the case. There are times when communication on where we are going, how we are going to get there, and when it's expected to happen, gives us, the fans, an insight into future expectations. Instead, we speculate, left to assume what exactly?

Am I thankful for Moyes? Absolutely — he is our security blanket that's done its job. How far can he take us? What do we as fans expect?

The media uniformly say Moyes knows this club, but this club's fans know David Moyes. Are we right to tie our futures to him?

And a new stadium isn't going to make a top manager suddenly think we're going to start challenging for honours.

Now you're talking, Mark. By definition, I hate any wine that is sweet. Another pet hate of mine is Shiraz. Nor can I name a German or Austrian wine that I have liked.

Hewey has spoken – End of thread!

We should have tried to sign him.

To your finishing paragraph. Moyes gets his Everton. But it's not my Everton.

As you say, he's done his job, but if we are going to be where we can be, it's not him that will take us there.

Of the clubs who are/could be (the could be have a *) next season, 5/*7 have never won anything, ever.

Bournemouth None
Brentford None
Brighton None
*Bristol City None
Crystal Pal None
Fulham None
*Millwall None
*Sheffield United 1925 FA Cup
Burnley 1960 League
*Sunderland 1973 FA Cup
Wolves 1980 League Cup
*Coventry City 1987 FA Cup
Notts Forest 1990 League Cup
Leeds 1992 League
*Blackburn Rovers 1995 League
Everton 1995 FA Cup
Aston Villa 1996 League Cup
*Middlesboro 2004 League Cup
Spurs 2008 League Cup
Chelsea 2018 Cup
Arsenal 2020 Cup
Man Utd 2024 Cup
Man City 2024 League
West Ham 2024 UEFA Conference
Newcastle 2025 League Cup
Liverpool 2025 League

So the likelihood is that over half of the teams in the Premier League in 2025-26 will have not won a trophy since our last one. We are getting to sound like an entitled obnoxious bunch we know only too well. Well, actually probably not, as those of us near Merseyside never meet them.

Although a lot of words that are spoken in football are just paying lip service, it would be nice to hear from someone within TFG come out and speak to the fans about the real reason they have purchased Everton.

Do they have a detailed plan and want to make Everton great again, or did they purchase the club for other reasons?

An obnoxious entitled bunch? You do realise that Everton are a club that had usually won at least one major honour for every decade of their existence until Bill Kenwright purchased the club and turned us into also-rans who should expect nothing, Phil?

There is obviously only one conclusion to draw. Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed.

Danny, with respect, if you don't want to be surrounded by plazzy red shite then avoid pubs outside of County Road when they are at home on the cusp of clinching a title that no-one outside of their fan base gives a shit about.I t means as much/little to me as who won the darts.

I've had a lovely day in the garden, watched the City game and enjoyed a moussaka with decent wine and I don't even know the score from their game. Fuck them!

Hahahaha! Tooth-rotting shite that Teutonic stuff!

The one that got away for me is Adam Wharton. A more obvious buy, who we presumably also couldn't afford.

Auto correct ruined my response! You can get a decent Crianza that's better than a poor Reserva. At supermarket leve, for example a Muga Crianza is much better than a Campo Viejo Reserva.

There are many slightly more expensive Crianzas around that are better and still cheaper than over priced Reservas.
Gran Reservas, though, are usually decent. Especially at Waitrose.

Ah, I've noticed 19 Crimes on the shelves for a good while now and never felt interested (shite label). Now I know it's a Shiraz, I shall try to avoid any future eye contact.

As the Viz character Paul Whicker would say, 'Tastes like creosote, but it gets you there'.

16 Little Black Pigs Pinot Grigio
Caravan Sauvignon Blanc
Miles From Nowhere Sauvignon Blanc
Howard park Miamup Margaret River Sauvignon Blanc Semillon
Allegiance Wines Bowrider Sauvignon Blanc
Eirloom Vineyards Adelaide Hills Pinot Grigio
Harewood Estate Flux Great Southern White Blend
Baron's Ridge Margaret River Sauvignon Blanc

And Tony, it also coincided with Peter Johnson being in charge at the start of the Premier League and, by the time Bill Kewright took over, we were already playing catch-up. One Dogs of War Cup win over a Man Utd team without Kung Fu Cantona.

The rest of the decade was 2 x last day relegation escapes (neither under Bill's watch), one decent season until Johnson pulled the financial plug on Big Joe and lower mid table the rest.

We can blame Bill for the 30 years. Yes, he should have sold to Abu Dhabi. Yes, he should have got out when Moshiri took over and just let him carry the can for blowing £1B or more. But we were already in a bad place when he became Chairman.

Mark, yes. But the ones we bought were excellent. Gave a bottle to a friend to drink after we came back from France. He's a member of Wine Society for 50 years. Took the bottle to his mates at the Golf Club. Can you get some more! No! Reserva for £9 at the Bodegas. The Crianaza was too tannic for us.

I'd heard a couple of Scottish lads going on about Buckfast, and realised that they might be talking about a cheap bevy, but I must have walked past a few hundred thick empty bottles labelled Buckfast when I first went to Scotland to watch Celtic play.

The only time I've seen more empty bottles was the day Gordon Davies scored a hat-trick for Chelsea just before Christmas in 1984. These were getting thrown from the Main Stand, straight into the Park End, and smashing to pieces in front of the Chelsea fans by the minute.

Football was a very dangerous environment in the eighties, and then along came Ex-Ta-Cy.

We were also in a very bad place in the early eighties, Phil, but it didn't stop us wanting to try and win.

I've only ever seen it on sale up here, or in loads of military bases I worked at a few years ago.

You guys were once happy with a bottle of meths but look at you since supermarkets opened.

Double Dock, anyone?

Australia and New Zealand produce some superb dry whites.

The most disturbing thing I've ever seen was watching a kid sniffing glue, and another one trying to get high by sucking the gas out of a can in the school toilet one morning.

"Brewed by Monks" has definitely made me smile, Paul!

Buckfast Abbey, of course, pissed Bendictines. Try their tonic wine, Tony.

I got diagnosed just after the 2006 World Cup in Germany, where I had drank a large quantity of beer on most days and hadn't suffered one bit, but it is always different when I'm at home.

I battled away for 18 years, remembering what Oliver Reid, once said about meeting more interesting people in pubs than in any other environment, but I suffered terribly after nine out of ten benders, and the hangovers gradually kept getting worse.

Only sweating it out in the gym works, but even then it takes me at least 4 days to start feeling normal again, and that's when I don't even drink that much. (If I go for it, I genuinely struggle for a full week.)

My youngest son told me I had gone boring on holiday last year because I like having a drink on holiday, but it was taking my energy away. I stopped immediately (even though it might have also been because of the hotel mattress!) and I've only had a drink once since then. it can be very fuckn hard sometimes though, because I have always believed if you can control it then sometimes you should definitely get out of your mind?

I like sobriety, but I also like having a drink, so maybe one day I can find a cure for my suffering, but the only cure at the minute is boring because it unfortunately means abstinence🥲

Was your Gilbert Syndrome inherited from that arl fella of yours?

I worked in Bangkok in the '90s and spoke to a gent who had just established the rights to import South American wines such as Chilean and Argentine there and reckoned that they were the dog's. I've found it difficult since to find a bad one.

But then again, I have drunk wines that I love from New Zealand, Australia, America and even some superb German reds riding through rural Germany.

Waitrose? Never been there but my wife may have. The supermarkets have done brilliantly on wine having moved so quickly in a couple of decades from selling cheap swill to the overall very high quality that you see on the shelves now.

I can see a link though between Everton supporters becoming sophisticated drinkers and the decline of the club.

But they would both tell you that it's better this way because I get on their fucking nerves when I've had a bevy, and probably turn into a character out of True Romance!

What a film that was!

I've never put a foot inside Waitrose either! There's one not far from where I stay in Islington in the summer on Liverpool Road, but Marks & Spencer is 1 minute closer!

I remember back in day, my aunt and uncle in Crosby having one of those motor bikes with like a compartment for a passenger next to it. Must confess that I have only been on a motorbike once sitting behind someone.

Singing We Shall Not Be Moved! Goodnight Blueboys💙

It's very popular in Belfast today. The more sophisticated imbiber will enjoy it with a dash of Red Bull to wash down a family pack of Monster Munch.

For my generation, it was Scotsmac or Clandhu. Both cheap, lethal and responsible for hangovers that mimicked the symptoms of meningitis.

I haven't thought about Thunderbird in ages. We used to do something called a Red Witch: cider, Pernod, and hmmmm… blackcurrant?

At some point in those 30 years, I've bought bottles of "Everton" red, and white, from Australia. I still have them, originally intending to guzzle them when we ever won a trophy of note.

By now though I expect them to taste flat, uninspiring and of no interest to anyone else on Earth.

Everton that!

Looking at the footage of blue smoke in amongst the red yesterday, it has made me wonder.

I can now see them doing a tit-for-tat response for our last match at Goodison. And I'm waiting for Dixie and Prince Rupert's to be defaced.

Anyway, it's Monday, the day after, and I can proudly state that I still don't know the score from the RS game. The last I saw it was 1-0 Spurs. And I'm happy in my ignorance so please don't tell me!

Seriously, it's not good, because if there's one thing about a scouser, they usually don't let things just lie.

Tit-for-tat is dangerous but they can't say they weren't warned about those blue flares! I expect revenge (just hope it's funny, rather than snide or sinister) but if people can't see the funny side of what was once described as a little bit of cheeky scouse wit/fun, then it would genuinely scare me.

Remember the clown suits for Bruce Grobbelar? People used to laugh and smile at this type of thing, but I suppose life was more honest in those days and wasn't getting influenced by millions of keyboard warriors.

I remember asking a street vendor for a couple of Heineken in Eindhoven, when my mate went to buy his legal ingredients, and his reply was try this instead because Heineken is for puffs, and this is when the start of my holiday began!

To this day, Bavaria is one of the nicest lagers I have ever drank, and I'm definitely going to look into that advice, Mark.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-14653087/Everton-fan-trolls-rivals-Liverpool-selling-BLUE-flares-repackaging-ultimate-s-housery-ahead-crucial-Tottenham-clash.html

Tony, there's always been healthy banter. On both sides, as long as it doesn't go too far, it is fine.

But it's taken a more sinister turn over the years. I think ours will always point back to the obvious. I've no idea why we still get to them, but I'm glad we do.

You sent me down memory lane mentioning Brucie Balls Up.

He always got a decent reception when he ran over towards the Gwladys Street. Once the metal applause were over, the "you're a clown" chants would start. In fairness, he played up to it and done his wobbly leg sketch.

We actually seemed to build up a begrudging rapport with him.

The 1878s have a blue smoke filled welcome planned for the Southampton match. I am fully expecting a retaliation with some red smoke appearing amongst the blue.

I reckon there would have been loads of savvy Liverpudlians setting off those flares in their back garden before going to Anfield because they did get warned last week!

If you grew up in our city, then you would have to accept that you have simply been done with good banter, and this is how I would expect most scouse reds to take it.

I got a WhatsApp last night with a picture of Van Dijk, and the caption England's most successful club, aren't even English, they are scouse, and surprisingly never got a reply, when I said that I thought the Liverpudlians were trying to be scousers when I saw all those blue flares!

Anyway, there were some politicians dotted around the place and even Diddy David Hamilton with his grand daughter wearing very little…

I went to the loo and was surprised when Bruce stood at the next urinal. I'd had a few so I let on.

“Alright Bruce?” He politely said "Alright" back.

I then said how I used to love seeing him between the sticks at the Kop end as I knew we'd win.

He said, “You're a Liverpool fan then?”

And I said “Fuck off, I'm an Evertonian!” and burst out laughing!

He told me to fuck off. But then he laughed.

And no, I didn't sneak a peak…

I know I've said it before, but the recent derby at Anfield, my first there since the Kanchelskis brace, was a real eye-opener as to how the relationship has changed. It shouldn't have and didn't surprise me, because it's been deteriorating for years.

But as you say, most will see it as good humour either way around.