Dyche: 'You could smell it was going wrong'

All down to you, Dino Dyche.

Smell it was going wrong? All I smell is your bullshit after every poor performance.

We are a laughing stock! Someone please sack him.

I don't remember hearing 40k odd sighs of exasperation when Ndiaye went off because at the time the fans saw it as a fairly normal sub.

He brought on an experienced player in Doucoure.

The players should have dealt with situation in my opinion.

Unbelievable from Dyche, considering what he fucking is.
He got it totally wrong again today - pathetic attempt to absolve himself of poor management. once again !

With ten minutes to go, and a 2-0 lead he took off our number ten to replace him with a more industrious midfielder - high energy for the last ten minutes makes sense to me.

Up till this point, I don't think tactically you can question Dyche.

How we collapse after that I have no idea, weak mentality, lack of shape, lack of composure - all things that the manager is responsible for. He can't and shouldn't exonerate himself, but I'm not sure you can blame it on his subs.

“We cannot take our foot off the gas at this level. Unfortunately we did that. We cannot be conceding the goals that we did. We have to look at ourselves in the mirror."

How many times have we heard that over the years Seamus !

First of all, weirdo, what's all this smell shite of the last seven days? Is "smell" the new "phenomenal". What the fuck does it mean? And what are those people supposed to be "smelling"?

(Primeval footnote: sorry: can't you just imagine the three hard-boiled eggs having farting competitions in the Vauxhall Corsa on the way back to Nottingham? "Whoa that was a good one Woansey")

So, chief Hard-Boiled Egg can smell it - whatever it is. He is quite clearly losing it' He is talking absolute waffle and drivel. Not much of it makes sense. Some sentences do not follow logically after another. He is losing it. Trump talks about sharks and Hannibal Lecter; Dyche has his "smell" now and the old chestnuts "grass" and "story".

Mark my words, he's losing it. He's cracking up, although he might not be intelligent, sensitive, and self-retrospective enough to crack up.

But the worst thing is - another Trump quality this - the absolute absence of self-recognition, perspective, and humility. He has nothing to learn and no one to learn from.

That longish quote from the presser is to me astonishing and revealing. In a nutshell, "me, me me, you keep saying I have responsibility, but it is the players out there who should take responsibility, but I'm not sure if they have the character to do so and they can't smell it like what I can".

Fucking coward. Never has a narcissist had less right and reason to be a narcissist. He refuses to accept realities right in front of his eyes. He says there were players out there suffering "fatigue" - well sub them you fecking thick Tory twat.

Even worse than being a shite manager is being an embarrassing shite manager. There is no more humiliating sight in the Premier League today than the three hard-boiled eggs on the touchline.

It's not Everton. It just isn't. We are better than this. He is not us. He is most certainly not Everton.

With all the young players and new signings,we just need a pro-active new Gaffer who allows the team to grow together and allows them the freedom to express themselves,take the shackles off and just go for it in games...yes of course they'll make mistakes along the way but there'll be stronger in the long run!

No more to be said. Saved me 15 minutes of typing my disdain towards our arrogant, fraud of a manager.

They have been a shambles defensively for a few seasons now and nervous as hell even when they get 10 men behind the ball.

Obviously the manager and the captain must take most of the blame as they cannot instill the confidence or exercise a plan needed to see out a game properly.

This is becoming a dire situation fast !

One of the comforting things about this piece of absurd commentary is that it joins the tiny minority of posts after the match that in effect wipe Dyche clean (yuck) and give him oxygen for his post-match presser.

What on earth are you "smelling" DD? I couldn't be arsed hauling myself again through the lengthy rigmarole of why Dyche is so obviously to blame, but just look and "smell" around you DD.

It was a high intensity match on a warm afternoon but Dyche, when it finally occurred to him that the team were tiring, subbed two of his best player for the worst possible two on the bench.

He has completely lost it with the match going fans and probably the players. I have never been so angry so often with any previous manager in the last 63 years as I sit there match after match and watch his incomprehensible game management.

DCL and Ndiaye were keeping them occupied at the back and they were having to put two players on Ndiaye to cover him.
Tim was looking a bit tired so sub him for Garner and give O'Brien a run out. I'm sure he would have dealt better with those crosses than Keane and Tarks.
I don't know what this smelling comment is about except for the dhit that was served up for the last 10 minutes.
Once he has lost the fans he will have to go.

Andrew, which player is it that you think Doucoure came on for?

It was Ndiaye.

Supplementary question; have you ever seen Ndiaye play?

The guy was fantastic today (hopefully just an example of his normal performance level). Iroegbunam lead the way and DCL had all his athleticism on display but Ndiaye had to be our Man of the Match. All action, high energy, fiercely competitive, back winning tackles in our own box, quick feet, tricky, always positive, bouncing out of attempted tackles or back up off the ground if knocked over. Okay, he's unlikely to be the target for lofted crosses into the box, he's probably not ‘bullying' the opposition and he'll run into the occasional blind alley.

Doucoure was never going to affect the game in the same way, although his energy might have done a job in defensive midfield because fatigue was definitely a big factor for the way everything turned to gold for them in the last 10 minutes. The analysis on MOTD clearly shows Gana and Iroegbunam were, due to being shattered, caught out in the build up to their goals.

I think Mykolenko was in some ways a victim of Ndiaye's success. McNeil was the option to play on the left when Ndiaye went off and this left Mykolenko much more likely to end up awol by getting carried away in chasing the ball. Up to the last 10 minutes Ndiaye or one of the defensive midfielders always seemed to be on hand to help mop up any loose balls in that area.

Seamus was acutely aware he could be skinned by his winger so was generally avoiding getting so close he might leave space behind. This meant he wasn't able to stop crosses coming in. Whether young Dixon would have been able to stay disciplined enough not to end up too far upfield is open to question, but I believe he could have closed down the winger much more without worrying about the winger simply doing a knock and run to get in behind him.

A defeat would have been bad enough.

To capitulate like we did? Some of the established players should be taking a hard look in the mirror. A League 2 side could have held that lead with ease. It's hard not to think it was deliberate in some way.

THAT was exactly what I was thinking about.

New season, same bullshit!

And how losing games cannot be down to the manager but winning games is!!!?

The correct sub should have been Garner for Tim who made two unprecedented awful errors after the first sub. Also, Bournemouth had their first shot on target after Dyche's mind-boggling substitution. So, yes Andrew, that sub made a difference for the worse as others can do for the better.

Dixon should have come on for Coleman (or even Young) and Mylo was literally running out of oxygen Andrew, but Dyche in his infinite wisdom (he even said in his presser that some players were "fatigue[d]") did absolutely nothing.

Dyche's substitutions and lack off - Jesus, any fool could see that it was at the back and midfield where changes needed to be made - cost us this game but in his presser the arrogant self-serving xxxxxxx (fill in as appropriate) did not accept one iota of responsibility.

Posts like yours are oxygen to him Andrew, and there are others to be fair.

Keep them coming, you are banging nails in left, right, and centre.

I've not read a bad or misguided post from you this late afternoon/evening.

Good to see someone being objective.

I'd say that today's defeat was on 65% Dyche, 15% Players and 20% on Iraloa. Yes, Iraola!

He brought on five subs all within 11-12 mins of each other and gave fresh impetus to his team. AND with time to actually affect the outcome of the play and game; unlike...

Dyche failed to counteract correctly, and failed to resolve his teams fatigue issue.

The players wilted due to the unexpected pressure of conceding when dominating the game, and by the 88th minute three of the back four were proper pooped, SC, JT and Myko, and MK was just pooped.

Four of the midfield were pooped, JH, TI(m), GG, and DMcN.

Only Beto, Doucoure were fresh!?

In that situation cover your bases, and shut up shop at 2-1, Beto as the outlet and everyone else closing players down and doing their job...

In reality, read the match report;

"Bournemouth produced an extraordinary late fightback as they came from two goals down after 86 minutes to beat shell-shocked Everton in the Premier League at Goodison Park.

Everton had deservedly looked on course to register their first win of the season and a first in August for three years.

However, they self-destructed spectacularly as the Cherries scored three times in nine chaotic minutes to spark joyous scenes among visiting players and supporters.

Antoine Semenyo's tap-in from Dango Ouattara's left-wing cross to make it 2-1 looked little more than a consolation for the visitors, who trailed to second-half goals from Michael Keane and Dominic Calvert-Lewin.

Instead it signalled a complete capitulation from the hosts, who were suddenly left holding on for a point when Luis Sinisterra crossed for Cherries captain Lewis Cook to level two minutes into added time.

But the Toffees crumbled to their third consecutive defeat when another delivery, this time from Justin Kluivert on the left, was nodded in by Sinisterra four minutes later to give Bournemouth the sweetest of victories.

The incredible turnaround ensured Everton stay bottom of the table and became the first club in Premier League history to lose a game after having a two-goal advantage in the 87th minute.

Marcus Tavernier's 20-yard effort in the 82nd minute had represented lacklustre Bournemouth's only shot on target until Semenyo's goal that initiated the stunning conclusion.

In fact, with the final whistle looming it had seemed Sean Dyche's only complaint would be that his side's two-goal advantage scarcely did justice to their dominance.

Keane's goal shortly after the break was a worthy reward for their control, with the central defender driving the ball past Bournemouth's on-loan Chelsea goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga from Calvert-Lewin's lay-off.

Returning captain Seamus Coleman should really have doubled the lead instead of blazing a gilt-edged opportunity over from 10 yards before Calvert-Lewin lifted the ball over debutant Kepa to add Everton's second.

At that stage, with summer signing Iliman Ndiaye impressing and the hosts carving out chance after chance, there was a celebratory mood inside Goodison.

However, that atmosphere quickly transformed to one of rancour, with boos ringing round the ground at full-time after another painful defeat.

Outplayed throughout this encounter, Bournemouth boss Andoni Iraola could scarcely believe what he had just witnessed at the final whistle.

However, he will be delighted at the way his team pressed forward late on to expose a vulnerable Everton side, who look like they have forgotten how to win.

Iraola can also be credited for trying to go on the offensive as his side struggled, with the introduction of Ouattara and Sinisterra proving key to the final outcome.

Burkina Faso winger Ouattara's assist allowed Semenyo to give the visitors hope, then the Colombia winger delivered an assist and a goal as the Cherries' breathtaking fightback moved them up to seventh in the table."

Courtesy of the BBC.

I know you're very busy for a variety of reasons, but I think it would make a great addition to the site.

Cheers, and good wishes,

Simon

Your initial game plan must involve 16 players — that's what the game is now.

It allowed Bournemouth width and space, against a tiring defence, who would have had questions regarding pace anyway.

In his interview after the game, he clearly knew he had fucked up, but chose to blame the players.

I think the issue is a lack of options in defensive midfield. Dare I say we are missing Onana! Glad we signed Mangala as we definitely need options other than Gueye.

I don't think that I've ever seen a more shithouse pass-the-buck. post-match presser than the one I have witnessed today from cowardly — yes, cowardly — Dyche.

I've sensed that Dyche has lost it during the past 4 weeks. The "there is no money" statement set the tone. It's like he is trying to shovel shit uphill and he has little or no energy left. The strain and stress of his position in trying to build a team with a pound in a million-pound business must be taking its toll.

I'm not trying to make excuses for him. Even without this, he was subject to making crappy starting 11 decisions and even crappier substitutions. The Bournemouth game decisions just took the biscuit.

Losing from a 2-goal lead at the 87th minute — completely and utterly inexcusable!!

If what he is saying is that he sensed we have bottlers, we know the biggest one is his boy Keane from Burnley. Only by the grace of God, the other Chuckle Brother, Holgate, found a new home on loan while Godfrey went to Atalanta and is surplus to requirements after a month.

Here is an idea: don't pick perennial bottlers. Another idea might be playing newbies who haven't suffered a loss of fitness and form during your full summer boot camp scaling sandhills.

Other ideas might include telling Kevin for the fifth year running, our full-backs are not fit for purpose. Then there's the Eureka moment that old men like Coleman, Young and Gueye can't run for 90 minutes.

You get the idea, Sean… unless of course you're too busy like a distracted dog sniffing the smell of someone else urinating all over your patch yet again before “taking responsibility” whilst absolving yourself of all blame.

Blimey! Ithought Big Dunc was a dense loudmouth cheerleader but at least he was on a meagre wage. This numpty is earning millions to point the finger and get on all fours sniffing around the shite. How far have we fallen?

A full 5 minutes 48 seconds. That never happens.

He has been talking of smells quite a lot recently..

He's the only one who doesn't know he's shit it, and didn't know he'd put his foot in it until he was on his way to be asked about it.

So what would be more natural than blaming somebody else for it???

While he was attending a Stones, Paper, Scissors forum, on the sidelines, with his sidekicks. "Can't we play Snakes and Ladders instead (?) Boss, we are good at that. Especially the Snakes, those bloody Ladders have no rungs in them anyway."

"Look, I'm the Boss here," bellows Dyche, "it may take to nearly the end of the game to make a decision on which game to play. Remember this, though, if it all goes Snakes up, it was the players' and the fans' fault — not mine!"

The above sums up beautifully what every Evertonian thinks. Therein lies the difference. We support Everton through thick and thin but Sean Dyche and his cohorts are doing a 'job' — and in everyone's opinion, dismally. But he thinks "I've given my staff instructions and they've failed miserably to carry them out." Seems he has been given the gift of smelling the failure!?

He can walk away tomorrow and into another job and it won't make a jot of difference to him, such is his ego.

In the meantime, we supporters are left with a shambles of a club with no leadership. "It's not Everton…"

I don't know anything about Dyche's politics, unlike Brexit Sam, and I'm not sure his bald head is relevant either.

The main issues here were him taking off a creative player who didn't look tired to me, bringing off our one outlet who can be an effective out ball who didn't look tired to me, leaving on at least three players who looked clearly tired, and bringing on one lumbering 'nuisance' sub, instead of someone who can keep the ball (Garner) and someone who can defend with presence (O'Brien).

Dyche clearly thought we were home and hosed, trusting the players to manage the game. On this score, he has my sympathy.

If I was running the club, I'd be speaking with the likes of Coleman and Tarkowski, getting their thoughts on why the defence is leaking like a sieve, why the concentration levels are so poor, whether the training methods are leaving players leggy, like they often did early season under Moyes. I'd want their thoughts on Dyche, the morale of the squad, and honest opinions on whether the players actually believe in what he's doing.

Dyche got a lot wrong yesterday and is, in my view, getting a lot wrong at the moment. The players aren't helping him, which is leading me to wonder if something has happened behind the scenes, beyond the ownership issue…

It doesn't smell right, does it?

2018: “I could smell it in the dressing room," said Dyche. "I thought this feels different, this is a different thing.”

2019: “When it goes, you can smell it coming back again, it's a strange thing.”

Maybe he makes his subs using his nose rather than his eyes? Odd.

And it's not obvious what he means by "smell", just like "grass", "noise", and "feel" etc — because he does not use his, erm, vocabulary consistently. I can be more research-minded if you like. It's my job.

The main issue was Dyche not accepting the smallest iota of responsibility. I get the senior players thing, but all compasses seem to point towards this "no one can teach me anything" deluded fool not giving a blind bit of notice. His presser is all the insight that we need.

I cannot imagine Dyche respecting a sit-down with the seniors unless he has heard that his job is in jeopardy. He knows best, remember.

So, your middle ground where heads get together is respected, PT, but I'm not sure that it exists. Do you ever seriously think that Dyche's position at Burnley was in any way challenged until the last horrible months?

Dyche floats in his mind, he is always right — again, today's presser. And lighten up, PT, the 'baldy' stuff is a probably pathetic attempt to soften the pain. We need something and, by Sheedy, this inept hard-boiled egg gives us generous latitude to have a pop.

Hope you're well, mate, as you seem to be, and the love of your life.

Cool, calm and analytical.

Not a pragmatist, not a miracle worker, not someone who 'says it like it is'. Just a certified oddball.

He alone made the decision to bring on the subs he made and subsequently took all the steam and possession from the team. Taking Ndiaye off was a mistake that freed up two Bournemouth players because Doucouré simply isn't performing.

It was clear that Coleman needed to be changed for a fresh pair of legs and we also needed someone such as Garner to come on and hold on to the ball for either Gueye or Iroegbunam.

Every team yesterday made 4+ substitutions other than Arsenal who made 3 subs and us with 2.

Surely the dinosaur needs to be told to sort his game plan and game management out — only thing is, by whom? — as the owner isn't interested.

Steve @48 makes perfect sense to me, There is no middle ground at the moment, apparently, PT, or no seeming acceptance of it by Dyche at any rate. It's all Dyche or nothing because, as he keeps reminding us from one presser to another, in an unbelievable act of self-absolution, he shoulders none of the blame.

Jeez, look at the time, and the empty wine… I'm off to bed.

Stagnation ironically with the greatest Evertonian to walk the land. He set the standard so low, living in a bygone age and fooling and conning many along the way; the damage has already been done. Forget Liverpool et al — would Spurs, Villa, Brighton and even Brentford have Sean Dyche as manager?

Horrbile goal difference already, it's embarrassing and it hurts. Everton bring no joy to anyone outside the club, and awful football does not belong in the Premier League… and in a few months, we won't be.

The back four let us all down yesterday. Tactics don't make defenders switch off.

The impression I got at Burnley was that Dyche had been there too long and the new owners wanted something different. 'Middle ground' or not, I suspect these conversations happen at any well-run club. They'll definitely happen if we ever get sold.

Back to now, Dyche looked at the end of his tether in that presser. It would have been good if some of us on here could be there to ask him questions — I've got a few that would go deeper than the journos.

Keep an eye on the press. It won't be long till he's described as the 'beleaguered Sean Dyche'. That's when you know a manager's in trouble.

Dyche has done wonders since he's been here. But he now has more, better options and is not using them or is misusing them. What he does next is far more important than anything he says.

We just want our Everton back — I keep thinking of Dave Thomas's rolled down socks and Lee and the other two crunched up in that tiny dug-out.

Bed, finally, after a wine-soaked night and good morning to you and yours, PT, and I'm guessing smoked salmon or kippers soaked in butter for brekkie.

God help us, one and all.

The problem Dyche had yesterday, or has generally, is that he focuses on certain things at the expense of missing other, glaringly obvious things. And that misplaced focus will cost him his job here.

I always like the passion and humour you bring to these pages, but I'm with Mr Tran on this.

While you are posting with your heart and your anger, he has taken the time to step back a bit and is posting with his head.

No manager worth his salt would dream of picking up the poison chalice if Dyche is booted out. We'll just get all desperate again.

I can just see it now. Leighton.... Leighton??? Leighton!!!

It is helping me in lots of ways and is really helping me regarding Everton!

Curly, Larry & Moe have to go. But we're stuck with them till the club is sold. Just write off another season already. It'll be a lot easier to accept.

His football stinks. There is an olfactory analogy for you, Sean. It is you that serves up the smelly stuff. About time we got out the Shake n Vac. Other carpet powders are not available.

Mr Chong, tell Dyche that we don't like the smell and we are getting a new broom to sweep clean. If he asks, “Why all the cleaning references?" Just tell him “We don't know — you fucking started it!"

Our expectations are pretty low anyway... but Dyche has done a job on the club in convincing people that this team isn't equipped to compete each week, and that we should be appreciative of the 'miracles' that he's working.

The job pays pretty well too. Presumably it's one of the top paying jobs in football management.

I'm not certain, but I suspect not many elite football clubs have a “Gaffer's Day”.

Incidentally, in the 87th minute yesterday Bournemouth were 1000/1 to win. I didn't expect it to happen, but I suspect a pretty high percentage of the crowd would have stuck £1 on it, had they known the odds.

Is that fucking right?

Who is in charge? Who can make the decision to remove him from our club?

He has lost the majority of fans and soon the players as well. Can things get any worse??

I think he could work wonders with these players.

"Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't, last couple of games he's been chastised for not subbing"

You are missing the point. He should sub the old crap for something new. He always does the opposite of what he should. He's simply so far out of his depth someone needs to call the coastguard.

Paul #13,

"It's not Everton. It just isn't. We are better than this. He is not us. He is most certainly not Everton."

Spot on.

Great.

If he could ‘smell' things were going wrong and about to get even worse for his side before things went totally to shit, then why not try something to negate or break up the oppositions swiftly gathering momentum? Something other than making like-for-like changes or simply ‘shouting' from the sidelines like an old school PE teacher in a scruffy Bovril-stained trackie, or Alan Partidge desperately hollering for “DAN!”?

He still had subs he could bring on, whether to replace players who had looked out on their feet for a fair while (against a freshened up opposition who had subbed on five), or even simply to eat up precious time/slow things down while his reeling group were on the ropes?

If they were suddenly getting down the line and we were looking susceptible to crosses swung into the box and he could indeed ‘smell it', then why not do something about it, like chuck on the giant central defender we've just spent £17m on to help deal with said danger?

Robert Duvall could smell napalm in the morning. All Sean Dyche could smell yesterday afternoon was his own sweaty palm being rubbed repeatedly over his shell-shocked face.

The man may make out he's 'all about winning', whether that's by attrition, attitude or endeavour, but he's far too fucking used to losing and being accepting of it for my liking.

5 out of the last 24 Premier League games he's won, yet he constantly makes out like every defeat is merely a momentary blip during the otherwise bang-up job he's doing.

What's worse is that far too many fans are all too ready to back up his verdict. Everton getting tonked under Dyche isn't the aberration, it's the lay of the land and a streaky month or so of decent results like he's managed previously during his reign is nothing more than a mirage that the man might be getting to grips with the massive job in front of him.

True we are light on the bench, but Garner for Tim, Armstrong or Duke for Gana (not to replace Ndiaye) and possible Dixon or even Young for Seamus would have given us the legs to keep up. Fresh legs was what was needed above anything.

I don't know if our players just aren't fit enough or Dyche's game plan asks more of them than they can deliver, but every team we now play, even the other relegation fodder, will be salivating when the game goes into the last 5-10 minutes. There is almost no position we cannot lose from.

Just a description of our manager.

But seriously, to think it's everyone else's fault?

It's been said enough, but this eggcup has to go tomorrow, or what are we paying Chong for (may as well sack him). Bring in the Sheff Wed manager, the Derby manager, or even the Wrexham manager, I don't care.

Textor, get it sorted

Ireola did this - and managed to turn a defeat into a win.

Dyche failed to do this - and managed to turn a win into a defeat.

I'd have more sympathy with Dyche if he hadn't mentioned that he "smelled it". He is basically admitting that he noticed the way the game was shifting - but when it came to taking control of the situation and making changes he failed to do anything. Maybe he couldn't work out which changes to make - or he was just paralysed by fear of getting it wrong; either is equally terrible. It is the same failing we saw over and again with Gareth Southgate and England.

Even if Dyche accepts culpability for this defeat I am not confident that the same thing will not happen in the future - and for that reason I think he'll have irrevocably lost a lot of the fanbase on this defeat.

And for what it's worth I don't think any significant scorn should be aimed at our back four for this defeat - it was untracked runners from midfield that proved to be our downfall. The back four needed protection in those last ten minutes and they got very little.

The 2 centre midfielders were wiped out after about 70 mins. Anyone could see it. Ndiyae and DCL didn't need to come off. How the manager and coaching team couldn't see it is beyond belief.

Still, there should have been enough on that pitch to stop 3 carbon copy goals in 8 mins. Players running around like young kids, leaving massive gaps, not closing down. Worst of all absolutely panicking.

The atmosphere in the stands at 2-2 was amongst the most poisoninous I have ever witnessed. There were lads by me standing on their seats foaming at the mouth, screaming inventive, completely gone. Fans arguing with each other. I understand why, but it's horrible to witness.

You saw it on here afterwards. Fans attacking each other, saying they are part of the problem, closet reds, club moles etc. It actually kind of breaks my heart tbh.

All in all, we are in a mess and it feels broken right now

Dyche better be smelling some victories, patience is wearing very very thin with this man.

Two weeks to sort this out and sort your head out and whatever your smelling.

I don't deny he did well over the last couple of seasons but no Manager of Everton Football Club has any right to keep their job based on past ‘glories'.

Dyche should go and assuming that we are able to get rid of him, who does everybody think we should replace him with?

Personally, I don't remember having sleepless nights with David Moyes at the helm. In fact, European nights such as Metalist Kharkiv away and Nuremburg away will always be remembered fondly, or should we go for a younger and hungry to succeed Manager from the Championship.

That is terrible game management from a professional of thirty plus years in football..

Trouble is it is no longer a shock that the club are able to fuck up so easily

He is not a magician.

p.s. - it's all on the manager, as he picks the team as they are PL ready, including a 52 year old to play the whole match, as he played PL before

So leaving two 35+ years on the pitch after Dyche smelt the fatigue was a sensible option was it?

I know it's easy with hindsight but come on!!!! Iliman and Dom were having fun against their defence, neither looked tired.

Garner and Dixon for Gana and Seamus and we would have been celebrating 3 points now.

In fact, if he had done nothing at all, we would have been celebrating 3 points.

No mark teams coming here and walking home with three points, even Luton friggin Town won twice at Goodison last season and they really are a stinking pile of shite.

One time these types of teams were swatted aside with minimal fuss even in the Moyes era when goals were hard to come by at times.

This is nothing new at Everton now, we are piss poor at home and have been for too long.

I still can't forget that we actually went from December to early April without winning a football match last season either, another stain on the club's recent history.

That game yesterday proved that these players under the right guidance actually should be doing better, capable of playing some decent football there.

But this is not the manager to do it.

“He was fatigued. He had run hard by then. Premier League fitness, as you know... he is a very fit boy but I thought he was fatiguing at that stage. It's one of those things. It was definitely fatigue.”

He looked one of the fitter players still out there, didn't he?

Others around him were dead on their feet and Dyche decided a player still full of running was “defo fatigued…fucked him…basically crawling along the ground gasping for air like Sean Connery after he was gunned down by that squinty-eyed albino scrote in ‘The Untouchables'. Cracking film that, ‘The Untouchables'. Not as good as ‘The one where Clint Eastwood's monkey twats fat bikers'. That's the best. Greatest movie ever made.

Me, Stonesy and some of the lads sat and watched it last night, with a nice bit of Spam. No bread. Just Spam. Ndiaye was gonna nip down the shop for us but I said “No, no, Ndiaye…err…y, you're knackered son. Take a seat and watch this big monkey knock out some fat Hells Angels and make fart noises with his mouth. Funny as fuck. Woany! Shift over and let Ndiayeey sit down. Been on his bloody feet all day etc etc”.

What game was he actually watching?

This fan base has hounded better managers out for less

I personally don't want any of the auld arses to start,I honestly believe we have the makings of a good team,a younger side that can fight, battle and entertain too and compete with the very best of them in the future,but it won't be Dyche at the helm for certain!!

The good news is that Jarrad will be available (I have it from an impeccable source). That is a huge lift for us and it would be nice if Dyche took the time to learn from yesterday and (1) put out a similar line-up and (2) figure out which of his players are actually "fatigued" with his keen and acute nose for smell.

As for replacement? Really, no idea, who's out there that wants to take the job?

I can think of a few names from our previous frequent search for a new manager.

I want it to be someone youngish, with fresh ideas and adventurous. No more dinos thanks!

The thing they both have in common is that they are not challenged. You never hear anyone saying that we had 1.2 xG and it should have been 1.4 xG. So, whilst this is a statistical analysis, people aren't interested in delving into these numbers, which are often subjective anyway.

What is a clear, unmissable chance? It varies from shot to shot and where one person draws the line and says that was a clear cut chance, then someone else will draw the line differently.

With regards to the smell of things going wrong. That is completely subjective as you can't quantify a smell and is an inference of what he thinks is some sort of reading of what is happening, so is totally open to interpretation. It is a wild, feral statement that suggests he is knowing what is going to go wrong before it actually happens. He smells it, yet is powerless to act upon it?

The most common use of the phrase 'to smell' without actually smelling anything, is to infer a feeling, especially in this context, to smell fear. My opinion is that this is what Dyche is trying to say.

This worries me as it can mean one of two things. He either feels he can smell fear in his team and, if so, then he is in a roundabout way saying the team, his team, are a gang of shithouses. What the players will make of this, if they infer the same thing, is not very positive really.

The other thing it could be is that he 'smells' fear in the crowd. The fear of the crowd imposing itself on the players like some wild, multi-headed beast sapping away the players' energy. Again, if this is what Dyche means, then this is not a positive view to express to the media, if he wants to keep the support onside.

Both of these inferences express contempt of the club and exonerate himself of all responsibility.

Personally, I feel Dyche has banked enough goodwill to continue for a bit longer yet, after overseeing last season's calamitous circumstances, when he was the only person at the club to front up to the press every week, despite the shitshow going on in the background.

This goodwill though is on an increasingly tight leash. If he wants to entwine the Goodison support to the players on the pitch without spurious comments to the media, he needs to own it and hold his hands up when it all goes to shit.

He could have easily said "Yeah, I got my substitutions wrong" or said "I didn't see some of the players were flagging" but he didn't. He did what many people in many corporations do whilst doing their job when things go wrong and took the easy way out, which is 'covering my own arse'.

Covering his own arse through smelling shit may well have papered over some cracks on the day. And let's face it, it was the worst calamity in many Blues' lifetimes, given the time left in the game.

I hope he learns from this and pays more attention to the game, rather than sniffing his fingers.

And to end on a note that Dyche would probably approve, given his predilection to 90s music although he would possibly challenge this it 'Smells like Torn Spirit'.

This is very standard for Dyche. He's a genius with heightened senses... and anything that goes wrong is outside of his control.

Remember when he came in and said he'd assessed Calvert-Lewin and decided he was actually fitter than Dom himself thought he was. Dom got slated for being mentally weak. Then he played him, and Dom broke down and missed the next few months.

Mr Dyche could have felt a bit silly after that... but his response was to come out and say he'd be looking into Dom's lifestyle right down to the type of bed he sleeps in. Dyche was again the genius, Dom (or possibly his bed manufacturer) was the problem.

He's living in a fantasy land where he is dropping Yoda-like wisdom. He loves telling us about whatever credo he's apparently always had and always told us about... except none of it happened. "I've always said, and I've always told the players"... yada, yada, yada.

If anyone hasn't actually watched his press conference, then they should. The reports and selected quotes don't do it justice. This guy is full of it.

Just weird pace Trump springs to mind with his random words and unconnected gibberish.

He's struggling Ernie, possibly losing it, and his gaslighting the players I can never forgive. That's personal. He's a fucking coward. A fucking big I'm as plain as they come love spam and chips with a naughty fried egg coward. Kettering me.

Yesterday's press conference - never mind the result - was it for me. Gaslighting coward. The staggering refusal to accept some responsibility tells you all you need to know about this audacious basement dealer.

I'll always give him credit when it is due in the weeks and months ahead. But in an ideal world he would be nowhere near The Old Lady and Finch Farm. And I will never say again, as I did all through last season, that he is the right fella at this time for this job.

This season now is about survival and, if we do survive, it will be viewed as a success within his inner circle.

He should have gone Saturday evening.

I know the ownership questions mean attracting the right manager is difficult, but I'd be happy with a Dave Watson type caretaker appointment. Moyes would bite Moshiri's hand off and want to be handsomely paid, but I think he would be the wrong way to go.

Get someone in for the rest of the season or until Moshiri is bought out that we can get behind, who'll make sure we enjoy ourselves a bit for once.

Nerves were very much on edge. Didn't take much apart from an accidental bump to set things off.

No one is happy with the outcome of the first three games but seriously, sack a manager who, 2 weeks ago, most Evertonians were happy with.

[Puts tin hat on…]

Those players collapsed and you can't really predict that.

So Dyche could smell trouble coming. What bullshit!! Isn't he supposed the use his eyes, years of coaching experience, and tactical genius?

Thelwell needs to make a decision on Dyche this week: back or sack.

An absent owner, very little money to spend, two points deductions, and a very frustrated fan base who want to see us playing better football, even though he didn't have that many players who possessed any real craft.

A squad which had no real backbone, started fighting, and if the points deduction had happened in either of the previous two seasons, then I'm sure we would have sunk without a fight.

We do look like we have got a few players (albeit mostly on loan) who can help us improve now. I think, under normal circumstances, Dyche might have been given a lot of credit for helping to stabilize the squad considering the shite he inherited, but this hasn't happened because I think a lot of people have had a preconceived idea that the man is a footballing dinosaur.

The subs were bad but you're naive and/or soft if you want an apology from the gaffer.

We will still finish 10th to 15th.

I've defended Dyche up to now but how come he couldn't see young Tim was blowing for tugs? Why did he think bringing off the player who constantly had them on the back foot would do the trick?

Yes, the players let themselves, and us, down but Dyche allowed that to happen. I hope he learns from it.

He's done a very good job in difficult circumstances.

Hopefully with the players we now have, we can play a different style.

That's not my opinion, that's from a source. Don't ask.

My opinion is that he is anti-football, has no idea when to change things, and is reactionary, not visionary.

On Saturday, that was the best football for over 30 minutes of the second half that I have seen us play in recent years. It was obvious however that our back 4 were rapidly running out of steam.

God forgive me for saying this, but in the absence of Dixon from the match day squad (why??) he should have brought Garner on for Seamus, Young for Mykolenko, and O'Brien on for Dom. Drop Harrison and McNeil deeper to aid a back five, and we could have seen the game out. O'Brien would have dealt with the crosses coming in. Lindstrøm (instead of Doucoure) for Ndiaye as a straight swop.

He was the right man at the right time during the last 2 seasons, but we should be moving on with the much improved squad we have now.

Time to go, Sergeant Dyche. Graham Potter would do a decent job for me.

General Dyche for me.

He was at Brighton, not Tottenham, Brentford, Man Utd or Liverpool. They were recently recognised as the top four best run clubs in England.

Brighton have done well recently but they're not that big and will probably forever be a stepping-stone to big jobs, including Chelsea.

I suppose they must put all their organisational and management genius into the global corporatism side of things.

The players, coaches and manager have lucrative contracts and rapacious agents or lawyers so not one of them will go to bed worried tonight. They'll all sleep like a log.

Meanwhile, the bedrock of the club quite rightly criticise, despair and quit what's going on, off and on the pitch, and have done so for decades without any hint of improvement in our club.

For clarity, we fans are the bedrock, and without us the new stadium at Bramley-Moore Dock is a white elephant.

So, is it feasible for visible demos against Moshiri to take place outside Goodison before every home match, with a one-minute turn-round in the 27th minute by every Evertonian in the ground?

27 February is the date Kenwright got extremely rich by selling us out to him.

Potter went to Chelsea after Abramovich left. Not the best judgement.

Dyche should be given this season and, if we finish where I'm pretty sure we will (10th to 15th), he should be given next season too.

We need stability as a club. We are in a transition period looking for new owners and moving into our new ground.

We've made bad decisions, spent awfully, and got rid of a good young manager (who bought us Richarlison) for a Hollywood babysitter and a red.

There's a giant target on our back because of the situation we put ourselves in. Dyche knew it coming in and didn't run like other managers.

Tottenham named England's best-run men's football club in Fair Game Index

3rd party company trying to get involved. Oh they have an algorithm so it must be legit.

The same Spurs where Harry Kane left? Would you rather have Tony Bloom or Dan Levy?

In truth, our snot-smearing Manager was only yards away from his opposition manager "throwing five pacy subs on".
Was this no form of warning?

Was the superb Iroegbunam dropping off, his earlier excellent pace and work rate? Firefighter Gana "blowing for tugs"? The Grand Seamus Coleman clearly flagging

Why, "Bus Thrower", did you not see any of this? Because what you did, "snot smearer", was to remove our two players that had and were continuing to make life very very difficult for Bournemouth.

Always the victim… but never your fault. J'Accuse!

I've written a few but a new bar has been set.

We can look forward to Villa followed by Southampton in a cup match under the lights, and on to Leicester.

We have some really good, talented players (and more to come back) who, given the chance, can really turn this disaster around.

The likes of Branthwaite, Lindstrøm, Mangala, Broja, Garner etc… will add depth and quality to our first team squad. And you never know, even Dele Alli might work out.

So not is all lost, fellow Blues. But it does depend on Dyche to get his act together regarding team selections, youth, substitutions, tactics etc….

We did lose the ability to push forward in the second half and, until we get speed on the wings, we will struggle to recycle possession to kill matches off.

I think a good option for the job would be Carsley, providing he doesn't get the England job. He's got a good track record for the U21s, likes to play attacking football, and will hopefully have lots of information regarding up-and-coming young players through his job.

I am not even an avid supporter of Dyche; for one, I think he canes our players when he is loathe to make substitutes. But -- and a big but -- Dyche managed that game brilliantly up to 85 minutes.

Whether the charge against him is he shouldn't have taken off Ndaiye and or not taken off Calvert-Lewin at the dying moments of the game for Beto, but not necessarily Beto, or the charge is he put other players on, and for that matter ones that Dyche normally uses for first eleven, 'Shocking' applies for example to Doucoure, (and for maybe two goals) Pickford, and Tarkowski. The defence fell apart.

It shouldn't matter how Dyche sets them up; whilst on that pitch, the players know how to play football. So why blame Dyche for everything that went wrong on Saturday at Goodison Park?